faint and dizzy. Recognizing that the soldier was in shock, Doctor number one told number twelve to fetch the man some brandy. “Do you have any?” number one asks. “I had some…somewhere.” Aha! So you DO touch alcohol, number one. Quite the contradiction!
Hiding behind the panel was a bottle of Aldebaran brandy, a decanter and a couple of glasses. It’s not the first time this secret stash appeared. Exactly two years earlier (in Earth time), River Song revealed the little Aldebaran brandy bar when she boarded the TARDIS and didn’t yet recognize number twelve as the Doctor. I actually thought she was the one who had put it there until David Bradley’s number one acknowledged that he usually kept some around. I’m pretty sure River and number one never crossed paths, but who can be entirely sure? Spoilers!
If that name sounds familiar, it’s because it’s appeared multiple times in science fiction, as well as science fact. And it often has something to do with booze (on the fiction side, that is). In Star Trek: The Next Generation, for instance, Guinan always had a stash of Aldebaran whiskey, and the green-hued spirit popped up on Deep Space Nine, as well. Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy fans—who, understandably, overlap a great deal with Whovians—will recognize it as the place where, according to Milliways (the restaurant at the end of the universe) emcee Max Quordlepleen, fine liqueurs are made.
Aldebaran folks obviously are quite prolific distillers, so how do we get there?
You’re in luck because Aldebaran, also known as Alpha Tau, is actually a real place. Aldebaran is a star about sixty-five light-years from our solar system. That means, all that you need to do to get there is board a vessel that travels at the speed of light and keep yourself entertained for six and a half decades until you get there. You’re probably going to want to stay there because that whole relativity thing means earth likely won’t even remotely resemble what it was before you embarked on the voyage.
Number Five’s G&T (Gin and TARDIS)
I generally am not that big a fan of brightly colored drinks, especially those that require certain unnatural additives to achieve their dayglow hues. However, that presents a bit of a conundrum when I want to make something that’s police-box blue to sip during episodes of Doctor Who. The easy solution is to start with a liqueur-like blue curaçao and reverse engineer it from there. But I don’t want easy solutions, nor am I usually in the mood for anything with blue curaçao. (Certain tiki drinks get a pass, since they’re rooted in kitsch.) Luckily, there’s been a small wave of tinted gins produced in recent years with colors that don’t detract from all of the botanical goodness in gin. And, with a series so inextricably linked with England, is there a more appropriate spirit than London No. 1 Blue Gin? It is an ideal choice for obvious reasons, as long as you’re okay with the fact that it’s a couple shades lighter than the broken-chameleon-circuit exterior of the TARDIS. That’s why you’re not going to want to go too heavy on the tonic. What makes this the “Number Five” is the celery—the fifth Doctor’s oddest fashion accessory.
•2 parts London No. 1 Blue Gin
•1 part tonic (don’t skimp. Try something good like Fever-Tree or Bermondsey Tonic. Both are from London, so they really sell the police box connection. To make the blue hue even deeper, use any of the new high-end tinted tonics coming on the market, like Fitch & Leedes Blue Tonic)
•Three splashes of Fee Brothers Celery Cocktail Bitters
•Celery (garnish)
Photo Credit: Craige Moore
•Fill a tall (preferably box-like) glass with ice. Pour in the gin and then the tonic. Splash in the celery bitters and stir well. Garnish with a stalk of celery. When finished, eat the celery. Don’t be tempted to attach it to your lapel.
TAR-tini
Okay maybe you’re more of a martini person. The blue gin lends itself to that. It just won’t be in a tall, TARDIS-like glass.
•3 ounces London No. 1 Blue Gin or Empress 1908 Indigo Gin
•½ ounce dry vermouth
•2–3 dashes of Fee Brothers Celery Cocktail Bitters
•Small celery stick (garnish)
Pour the first three ingredients into a cocktail shaker or mixing glass with plenty of ice. Stir well (DO. NOT. SHAKE.) and strain into a martini glass. Garnish with a small celery stick. (Make sure it’s not too long, otherwise, things will get a little clumsy.)
Chapter 4
Assemble! Photo Credit: © Beeline Creative
Let’s address the caped elephant in the room: comic book characters can’t seem to hold their liquor. For the purposes of this section, “comic book characters” means both their personas on the page and on the screen. So, I’m going to hopscotch between the two a bit.
Remember in the movie, Superman III, when everyone’s favorite Kryptonian refugee became his misanthropic alter ego? I know, most of us are trying to block out any memory of that celluloid travesty, but just humor me for a moment. Before his “good side” inexplicably splits off from him in the form of Clark Kent (I’m pretty sure the earth’s sun doesn’t really give Kal-El that power; they were just making it up as they went along), we find our blue-tighted hero pounding shots in a dive bar. “Oh no!” we all gasp as we collectively clutch our pearls. “Superman doesn’t DRINK! He must really be BAD!” I guess we’d all pretty much forgotten that he popped the cork on a bottle of champagne just prior to bedding Lois Lane for the first time in the previous film.
Audiences for superhero movies and their comic book source material are largely full of impressionable minors. Writers and studios are supposed to be After-School-Specialing them away from booze and drugs and all that, but part of the reason for alcohol abuse in this country—particularly where underage drinking is concerned—is that booze is too often portrayed as “evil” in pop culture. So when Superman goes on a bender after his brain is warped by some bizarre space rock, everyone’s “Just Say No” meter kicks in.
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