Morning Notes. Hugh Prather
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42
See your ego's plan for you clearly and you can't help but laugh.
Forgiveness is not a state of mind in which no judgmental thoughts about myself or others occur, but one in which they show themselves to be utter nonsense. I know when I have reached that point when, even though I am conscious of the thoughts, they no longer make me anxious or stir me up. In fact, if my forgiveness work has been thorough, the unforgiving thoughts are seen as laughably absurd.
43
Wallowing in guilt is self-indulgent.
To indulge in thoughts of guilt, remorse, and regret seems virtuous, an act of humility or honesty. But it's actually a failure to take responsibility for my past actions, because it's still all about me. These thoughts don't help or heal the individuals I have hurt. I must interrupt my self-attack and give the blessings I have withheld. Often this is best done silently, since the consequences of making amends directly are unpredictable. The decision to bless comes from within and includes the intuition of whether or not to act.
44
Attack is the problem, not the answer.
I am making the same mistake in a different form when I indulge in shame, guilt, or self-loathing— first I hurt this person; now I am hurting myself. Justification for attack does not hinge on the object of the attack. Attack in any form blocks the experience of peace.
45
I cannot betray myself by “loving too much.”
What could I possibly lose by seeking the peace of another person—literally making another's peace my single-minded goal? I can certainly lose by destroying another's peace; in fact, loss will be the one reliable outcome. And I can lose by loving too little and thereby making myself small. But to “love too much” is merely to be my self, to be my own hear t, to be my true and deepest nature, which is all I have ever wanted to be. Real love isn't “balanced” and can't be measured or quantified.
46
Love is a preview of heaven.
Love is not just our way out of fear, it is our destination point and our fulfillment. In the words of the apostle John: Love one another, because love is of God. And everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. But the unloving know nothing of God, for God is love.
47
The jailer is also in jail.
Freedom is found in little things—in errands and tasks and small encounters. Today I will practice freedom by remaining aware of the situation I am in, the individuals who are present, and the quality of my thoughts. I will not force my thoughts, but simply stay conscious of the sentence layer of my mind, which tends to focus narrowly on who or what needs to change. In wanting to control, I am automatically controlled. Instead I will extend freedom by putting no pressure on other people and making no attempt to micromanage events. I will do what I do with flexibility and ease and a steady, peaceful awareness.
48
If I don't need anything from you, I am free to think of you in peace.
The moment I want something from another person, my happiness is compromised. Each time I try to influence someone, I set myself up as a victim, because it's impossible to get perfect cooperation from anyone. Today I will observe that I survive just fine without my expectations being met or my demands obeyed. In fact, in letting go, I am left with the peace that is already mine.
49
Every hour I am focused on the future, I suffer an hour's loss of this life.
Clearly, to dwell on the future or the past is to avoid living now. The present can be scary because so often it's associated with emotional or physical pain. Pain may be a means of bringing one back to the present, but it is not the only means. Stillness is also centered in now, but a now of an entirely different sort. The quiet now is very broad and reliable. It contains no dread, no jolting interruptions, and no abrupt beginnings. Beauty shines from ever y aspect, and peace is the gift both given and received.
50
The longest strides come from standing still.
The paradox of progress is that we grow each time we realize that we can only be where we are. I can't fail to grow in happiness, wholeness, generosity, and inner strength when I am quieter mentally, more peaceful, and above all, more present.
51
I will give peace with my thoughts and cause no harm with my words.
We enter the awareness of many people in the course of a day. With each encounter there is a little exchange, and we leave something behind. This trail, and not our individual accomplishments, is our legacy to the world. At the end of my life, what tracks do I want to look back and see?
52
If God holds me, why am I holding on?
As I grow older, I am able to do increasingly less, yet my mind doesn't seem to age. Yes, brain functions like memory and calculating skills have deteriorated some, but the “I” that I am remains the same. It seems clear that my real safety lies in the recognition that whether I am physically paralyzed, compulsively hyperactive, or somewhere in between, I still remain as God created me. Therefore I can safely say, “Today I hold onto nothing, because God holds on to me.”
53
My mind is like a hand that can open or clench. The choice is mine.
If I am capable of tightening my mental grip, I am also capable of loosening it. I am free to let go of wanting and getting, having and losing, worrying and denying, all of which require me to narrow my mind. A relaxed mind can't sustain a fearful or judgmental focus. Today I will notice each time my mind tightens, for if the divine is real, I can rest in the truth that there is nowhere else I need be and nothing else I must have.
54
God's light shines in all directions.
To heal the past, just dance backward through the rays of God, which shine through every step you ever took. They were always there, even though you chose to close your eyes. Then dance back to your home within the present. But leave the door open wide behind you to such brilliant shadows and healing memories.
55
Wherever