offer you a new exercise—backtracking—to do at least once a week in addition to breathing, affirmations, and journaling. Backtracking stretches your mind and awareness. It's also helpful in grounding yourself when you need to make a decision.
Backtracking
Pick an item of food. Trace it back to where it began. Go back as far as you can, paying attention to the hands, minds, hearts, and backs of the people who were involved in the chain that brought it to your table.
For example, consider an apple. Take it from your hand to your refrigerator, to the grocery bag you carried it in to your car, to the market display, to the storage bin, to the truck, the loading dock, and all the people who picked and packed the apple, to the famers who planted the seeds. See if you can get to the orchard and the individual tree.
You can do this with any item of food. You eventually can do this with anything at all as a mind-expanding and even soul-expanding exercise. Your goal is to make your presence more real in the world. Part of that involves making your food and the forces that brought your food to your hands more real to you. You can then appreciate foods that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. You can share food with someone else in the spirit of nourishing their minds, bodies, and spirits. Plus, you will feel connected with the energies of countless people who provide us all with our food. This is the beginning of the end of your isolation.
In recovery, food stops being an object of instant gratification, just as you stop being an object and become the authentic woman you are.
In recovery, food stops being an object of instant gratification, just as you stop being an object and become the authentic woman you are.
You are developing the inner resources you need to cope with your emerging feelings without using food to numb yourself. As you develop your new strengths and inner resilience, you will be able to tolerate your healing experiences, and you will need your eating disorder less.
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