exactly like his dad. I had planned a big-sister party at the hospital, so Zoë arrived to balloons, presents, and cake, all for her. She surveyed the bounty and declared that having a little brother wasn't half bad.
# # #
I've never written about the facts of my husband's suicide before the words that you just read, but if you know my story, you can find it in every novel I write. My anxieties work themselves out in each book. I still hear his voice, I still fear the betrayal and loss that are around every corner, but I get to write the story, and at the end, the mystery is always solved. This is a slant way to deal with loss, but it's the only way I can do it. Only fiction offers me the truth.
What I have come to call “rewriting my life” didn't provide a clear, straight path from trauma to vibrant mental health and a two-book publishing contract. I was no pretty flower busting out of the crack in the pavement against all odds. The process was and continues to be a messy, three-steps-forward, two-and-a-half-steps-back kind of deal. But Jay's suicide put me at a crossroads where I could choose one of two life paths, drinking or writing, and I chose writing, thank god. Turns out rewriting your life works better than gin, which can only offer you empty calories and a holy calling to watch the entire season of Looking for Love: Bachelorettes in Alaska. (I researched it so you don't have to.) Crafting a novel, on the other hand, spins your pain, shame, and joy into gold, emotionally and literally.
I know you either are playing with the idea of writing a novel, or have already written one and want to take your fiction writing to the next level; otherwise, you wouldn't be reading this book. You're in good company. According to a study conducted by the Jenkins Group, 81 percent of Americans believe they have a book in them, and 27 percent of those want that book to be fiction. That's over seventy million people who want to write a great novel but aren't sure how. Rewrite Your Life walks you through the process of transforming what you know—your life experiences—into a powerful work of fiction, and subsequently transforming yourself.
I do have a request, though. As you read Rewrite Your Life, please don't equate the process of turning your life challenges into a novel with trying out for the Trauma Olympics. You don't win the gold the more pain you've experienced, though I think we all sometimes secretly believe that.
Pain is pain. Bad is bad; good is better.
Seriously, sometimes I'm sad or angry for no discernible reason. It counts.
If you still believe you need a pass to enter the writing club, I offer you this: transgenerational epigenetics strongly suggests that a sense of trauma can be passed down to you from your ancestors up to four generations back. That means if Great-Grandma Esther had a rough time of it, you can feel emotionally sapped even if your life is relatively good.
Besides, we all have different definitions of a “challenging experience.” The point is to learn how to recycle your facts into fiction so you can experience the personal transformation that comes with rewriting your life. The novel you will craft will function as both your lighthouse and the Viking funeral boat upon which you get to burn your garbage once and for all.
An added bonus? At the end of this adventure, you will have a powerful novel inspired by your life, cooked of the same ingredients but wholly different.
By the way, while the instructions in this book work equally well for short stories, I consistently use the term “novel,” because writing short stories has always reminded me of carving Mona Lisa on a grain of rice. If short stories speak to you more kindly than they do me, simply replace “novel” with “short story” in everything you read from this point forward. Rewrite Your Life offers you a road map for using your own life experiences, however fresh or ancient, deep or temporary, painful or proud they are, to craft a lush, powerful piece of fiction, regardless of that fiction's length.
One more thing. You don't need to be a gifted writer to rewrite your life. If you have something to write with or on, you're golden. I guarantee you're going to surprise yourself with what you create, on paper, inside yourself, and in the world.
So come on. Pack what you need. We're in this together.
Orientation
Throughout this book, you are asked to explore your history with a goal of translating it into healing, compelling fiction. Think of this process as a pilgrimage to your best future, an adventure that paradoxically requires you to travel through your past. Each chapter is full of examples, insight, and activities that will lead you through a purposeful excavation of your memories, showing you how to turn them into something greater than their individual parts, something healing and transformative. To that end, look for modest writing goals in each section that when added together result in a magnificent achievement: a healing novel inspired by your life experiences. See these helpful markers to guide you in best using this book as well as a packing list for this road trip of a lifetime.
MARKERS
Look for these icons to guide your odyssey.
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The Mile Marker symbol indicates a focused opportunity to unearth and repurpose a life experience. Have a paper and pen handy. |
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The Map icon signals that you will be required to map out a leg in your novel-writing journey. Plan on writing when you see one of these. |
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When you spot the Navigate icon, look for a tip that relates what you're presently reading to information covered in a previous chapter. |
Recommended Packing List
Pen or pencil.
Notebook. A cheap drugstore-style spiral bound is perfect. If you're going to write your book longhand, make sure the notebook is big enough to hold all your words. On the inside cover (or the front cover, if you're feeling ballsy), write “Novel in Progress.” I recommend writing it with a magic marker, scented, maybe cinnamon or blueberry, to lock in the memory of this brave undertaking. Plan on carrying that notebook around with you until your novel is written. You'll need it when you least expect it.
Computer. This isn't necessary, but if you plan to type your novel on a computer, you'll need that in addition to your notebook.
If you've still got room, consider packing a sense of humor, too. Actually, screw that. Pack humor.
PART I
THE POWER OF FICTIONALIZING YOUR LIFE
CHAPTER 1
THE SCIENCE OF WRITING TO HEAL
Writing fiction is the act of weaving a series of lies to arrive
