to learn about the procedure, this is what she experienced: It was difficult to get to the doctor; he had gatekeepers with endless excuses. But he also had a reputation of being a good surgeon.
When she did finally get a moment of his time, she experienced him as impatient, stressed, self-impressed, and not at all relaxed. His smile was forced, too quick, and seemed insincere. He didn't look her in the eye while speaking to her, and he had to check his notes for her mother's name and condition.
My client went home and spent about an hour in quiet reflection. Then she called the surgeon and declined his service.
“I can't believe I did that!” was her comment, “but he just didn't seem present to the moment at all. I felt he was always putting his attention somewhere else, not on me, nor on my mother. I just didn't sense he cared.”
The doctor's too-stressed life—and whatever else—did not allow him a tranquil and wholly relaxed mind and thus he did not access what Indira Gandhi calls his own “true image.” My client wanted someone who was wholly present to himself to operate on her mother. So would I.
The-mind can only reflect the true image of the Self when it is tranquil and wholly relaxed.
—Indira Gandhi
No matter how busy you are, spend relaxing time today to give life to your true self.
Just Sit
People who are at ease with themselves are a wonderful gift to the world. They model for us with a power that words can never match.
When I was a boy, I had Satchel Paige's picture on my wall, along with about fifteen other Cleveland Indian baseball players. Satchel had a special attraction. He not only became the first African American pitcher in the American League (at the age of forty-two), he was also full of joy, wisdom, and showmanship. He just loved life, even though, especially at its beginning, it didn't offer him much.
He could pitch words as well as he could pitch a baseball. The above words are an example. Satchel always had his eye on the crowd and knew how to give them what they wanted, and sometimes what they needed as well.
In my memory of him, I realize that he always had quietness, serenity, and even a sense of slowness about him—even though he was famous for his fastball—almost as if he were always remembering something important, something he didn't want to forget. His smile took a while to complete itself, and he had an easy grace in his movements.
Is there someone in your life who is a model of serenity for you? What gives them such a calm in the storm of life? How can you cultivate that in yourself?
Sometimes I sits and thinks, and Sometimes I just sits.
—Satchel Paige
Today, find yourself a model of serenity and make yourself an apprentice.
Oops!
It seems to be characteristic of the young to rush so fast through life that they miss the best parts. But I seem to have been fairly adept at dragging that youthful characteristic along with me well into my adult years. I still have to remind myself not to hurry past my pleasure. (I often need to give this advice to myself when I am eating: My tendency is to eat too fast and not savor the food, and thus miss the pleasure.)
Businesspeople seem particularly prone to this tendency from my observation. It must be the nature of doing business, competitive and fast, and the fact that the winner—the best in the business—gets the prize of financial success.
Many successful climbers of the corporate ladder later recognize themselves as those who were so intent, so earnest, so hardworking, moving with such breathless haste up the ladder, that they happened to miss a vital element in their pursuit: the ladder was leaning against the wrong wall.
When they arrive at the top, it hits them. For example, “Oops! I am a top executive, but what I really wanted was to be a writer.” Looking back, they can recognize what they had hurried past: the high school teacher who encouraged them to write, the college prize won for essay writing, the longing to create a novel—all missed, hurried past.
Noticing and recognizing pleasures is what we gain from our moments of doing nothing, of reverie, of awakening to our true desires and passions.
It is never too late to find a new wall or climb a different ladder.
Most men pursue pleasure with such breathless haste they hurry past it.
—Sören Kierkegaard
Do you have an “Oops” to say about what you've hurried past?
Thoughts Unsought
Where do they come from, these unsought thoughts? Pope John XXIII tells the way he first thought about convening the Second Vatican Council, which has been called the most significant religious event of the century and will influence the world for centuries to come.
He said, although not with Locke's words, that the idea for the Council just dropped into his mind. It did not come as a logical answer to a particular problem. It just dropped in, so to speak. Lawrence Elliott, in his biography of the popular pope, quotes him: “Suddenly an inspiration sprang up within us as a flower that blooms in an unexpected springtime…a council!”
I won't attempt to answer the question about where these ideas come from. But let me say something about not missing them when they do come. And not just to popes.
We won't miss these gems only if we have prepared ourselves in advance of their visit by creating a place of welcome, if we have a sign on our souls saying: Valuable Unsought Thoughts—Enter Here.
The construction of the sign includes the wood of silence, the metal of serenity, and the nails of quiet recollection.
Pope John is a fine example of such a soul. His autobiography reveals a lifelong desire and effort to “know and do God's will.”When the thought of the Council dropped in, his place of welcome was ready, having been prepared by prayer, service, humility, and many hours and days of contemplation.
The thoughts that often come unsought, and, as it were, drop into the most valuable of any we have.
—John Locke
See your quiet moments today as preparation of a welcoming place for valuable thoughts that will just drop in.
three
Remembering to Take the Time
A Lesson from Sister
I can still hear my seventh grade teacher's voice: “David, go to your place! Be still and pay attention!” She didn't say “Be quiet!” but always “Be still!”, which implies not only a lack of noise but a lack of movement as well, a quietude of the whole person.
You have long since left the realm of schoolchildren, but these words are just as important—no, more important—because now you can know their real power: Practicing stillness and attention can change your life, especially as your practice gains power and effectiveness.
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