looked like I knew myself, and I even believed it most of the time, but, as I began hatching, it was clear that I had forgotten the me of the moment. How can you begin to understand who you were meant to be when you have forgotten who you are? During the ongoing hatching process, I wondered if things would have been different or better if I had not made certain mistakes or experienced a tart, lemon-filled life before learning how to make lemonade. Living afraid of feeling hurt or failing was not going to be my path any longer. I had to take my chances and hatch.
When you have grown to full term inside your shell, the space that was once a just-right fit becomes tight and uncomfortable. Hatching provides not only new opportunities, but also newfound freedom to expand to your next level. Then there is your new viewpoint that comes with hatching. At the moment you decide to break free from who you were and hatch, a new light appears as your shell’s surface is cracked wide open. The light shines a path for you to go that way, try this option, explore, grow, do, be! I know hatching is easier said than done. Trust me, it took nearly twenty years for me to take that first step. My advice for you is:
•Do it scared. The fear will disappear as soon as you make the first move.
•Follow the breath of your heart. Trust that you will grow into the person you feel, think, and believe you are in your heart and mind.
•Do all things in love. Love covers a multitude of sins. When you operate in love, fear and doubt are silenced.
•Be present. The best part of hatching is to be present. If you are able to spend less time worrying about your past or future, you could assess your current shell and crack it wide open.
The more you understand, the better a position you will be in to open up and begin the process of hatching. I think the greatest lesson is to understand that you can learn so much about your personal hatch experiences through close observation. Breaking out of a shell initially can be shocking. But remember, this place is new and unfamiliar, so it is critically important for you to be fully aware of your surroundings before exposing yourself to the elements and vultures waiting on the sidelines. They often have a nose for vulnerability and frailty.
Hatching is the beginning of something uncomfortable at first, but beautiful in its time. This is why part of hatching is to understand the type of behavior you need to replicate to ensure that your breakthrough process is protected and nurtured. How you behave and respond to your needs and weaknesses during a hatching period can be the deciding factor in your future ability to soar or stay down, like a grounded bird.
Becoming
“For me, becoming isn’t about arriving somewhere or achieving a certain aim. I see it instead as forward motion, a means of evolving, a way to reach continuously toward a better self. The journey does not end.”
―Michelle Obama, Becoming
It was such an incredible experience to sit and listen to the wisdom First Lady Michelle Obama poured out as she spoke to a packed audience during her Becoming book tour. What was most impactful was the fact that this beautiful, accomplished, and respected woman (who is also a graduate of Princeton and Harvard) was so transparent about her journey that was far from perfection and forever evolving.
It was widely reported that Michelle’s superpower during her book tour was her ability to create intimacy at a large scale; specifically, at arenas, with seating capacities hovering around twenty thousand. She was not always able to share her feelings like that. In fact, she told reporters that, during her time as First Lady, she felt obligated not to let the country see her vulnerabilities. She felt that her job was not to nurture herself. But when she and Barack left the White House, she was ready to hatch, leap, and soar.
She was able to write and share her feelings in Becoming about her personal journey, including the fertility treatments she received, the miscarriages she endured, and the marriage counseling the couple went through after their children were born. It just goes to show that even the most highly regarded individuals are often going through the same feelings you have. Amazing, but true.
When she was First Lady, there was a tremendous amount of pressure that was unduly and often subconsciously placed on Michelle to arrive at a particular place or position in order to be validated. I agree wholeheartedly with her clear sentiment that the true measure of validity should be seen as the ability to keep arriving, arising, and evolving. The person who refuses to stay stagnant for too long and seeks to constantly become a better version of themselves is the one who will enjoy the most fulfilling life.
While I did not feel a stroke of lightning at the initial moment that I faced moving out of my comfort zone in order to hatch into a better version of me, I later realized that it was one of the highlights of my life. In becoming, you actually acknowledge that, to get to the best version of yourself, there will be fears to face, hurdles to overcome, and a perpetual process of starting again to evolve into the best that you can be.
After spending several seasons of my life securely fixed in what I thought was a safe place, I now enjoy a newfound freedom in the art of becoming. Like most things worth having, this process is beautiful in the end, but is most definitely a process. Becoming is also a personal commitment to taking the necessary steps to reach your place of awakening.
Over the span of my fundraising career, I raised more than fifty million dollars. I had become a prolific and sought-after fundraiser. But at the same time, a quiet disruption was happening inside me that seemed to be urging me to stop and examine “who was I created to be” versus “what I was good at doing.”
I distinctly remember the series of events that began to push and provoke me to dig deeper into those thoughts. I had accepted a volunteer role as children’s director for my church. It was an absolute dream. I loved helping children learn and develop a relationship with Jesus. I also enjoyed providing motivation and support to their parents. Once again, I felt that I was doing what I was created to do.
Even though I also had a full-time job, working as a volunteer was what centered me. I felt as if I was living a fulfilled life. With fulfillment comes fruitfulness, which was reflected in the community’s growth. I was not the only one who I could see what was happening in the children’s ministry. My pastor decided to offer me a full-time paid position as the children’s director. I was overjoyed! It felt so right! And, while it would turn out to be a huge pay cut, my husband and I discussed it and agreed that it was an opportunity that I should pursue.
I was convinced that this was the right path for me. I was willing to pare down our spending and go without the things that did not really matter to become who I was meant to be. There is something exhilarating about peeling back the layers of excess to reveal the number of objects holding you back. Without these encumbrances, you can get back to the core desires of your heart and become you again.
I submitted my resume and waited.
A few short days later, I received a call from the church’s human resources department to book my first interview, which would be over the phone. When I joined the call that day, I found that I was interviewing for an entirely different position. If this chain of events surprises you, consider how I felt!
While the interviewer assured me that I would remain as the volunteer children’s director, he then offered me a position as director of sponsorships and fund development, which came with a very healthy salary.
Even though this was a different outcome than what I had expected, at the time it seemed to make sense. After all, wasn’t I really good at raising money? So, it was a logical fit. Right? Wrong!
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