Seeking Silver. Karen Y. Barnstable
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After the choir finished singing, we were instructed to go to the back of the auditorium and find a place to sit. The dynamic speaker had a special message about sex in relationships. At the end of his talk, he asked all of the young men who wanted to live for God and be an example in their relationships to stand up. The guy with the big feet stood, along with a hundred other young men in the auditorium. He shifted even more nervously from foot to foot as he stood. Then the speaker asked all the young women who wanted to live for God and be a support to these young men to now stand up. I felt a tug in my heart leading me to stand. While on our feet, the young women were instructed to pray for these young men to be positive examples in their relationships.
Not knowing how to pray for a hundred guys I did not know, I decided to pray for Mr. Big Foot next to me. I prayed in earnest for the young man I had not yet met, with no idea as to why I was praying for him in particular.
Dear Lord, please be very near to this guy next to me who seems so nervous. Help him to honour You in all he does. Protect him in his relationships and help him to resist sexual temptations that come his way. Guide and direct him in his life choices and help him to be the man of God he desires to be. Amen.
When the service came to a close we were all invited to go for coffee and snacks in the church gym. To my relief, my friend from choir showed up again and introduced me to the stranger who sat next to me. It was her brother Kim, who had recently moved to the city for work. My friend had told me about this brother she thought I should meet, but I hadn’t paid much attention.
I couldn’t actually get a good look at her brother during the introduction since his gaze turned downward as we were introduced. Awkward words and phrases bounced back and forth. Our conversation wasn’t going anywhere, so I decided to make a quick exit. I explained that I had an exam the next day I needed to study for, excused myself, and headed for the door.
Two nights later, the phone rang for me, twice. The first call was our choir director. Rehearsal was cancelled that night as she was not feeling well. I had an unexpected free night. Before I even had a chance to think about it, the phone rang again. It was my friend’s brother, Kim. He sounded a lot more confident on the phone. He said he knew I had a free night since choir was cancelled and asked if I would like to go to a movie with him. Without an available excuse, I decided to accept his offer. I was thinking that a movie date would be fairly harmless. Not a lot of conversation would be needed. Besides, I had already prayed a pretty serious prayer for this guy. Maybe there was a reason.
An hour later, my door buzzer rang. As I opened the door, I was most pleasantly surprised. Kim looked directly at me, and I finally got a good look at him.
Whoa! Is this the same guy I met on Sunday? So glad I said yes to this date.
I wondered why I hadn’t noticed how good-looking this guy was two nights ago. Not only was my date in fine form, he was also more relaxed than I expected, and our evening was off to a promising start.
I didn’t return home until eight hours later. We walked all around campus by the university theatre while waiting for a later show, then realized that the show on campus was cancelled. We talked and talked as we walked. We found a movie at another theatre in town, then went for pizza after the show. Kim showed me the house where he lived with a few other guys. We sat by the pool in the backyard, continuing the easy flow of our ongoing conversation. We talked until two a.m. Throughout the evening we shared many stories about our lives. We told each other about our families, our past, our present, and our goals for the future. We had countless things in common. By the end of the night I was completely smitten.
When I finally got home, I told my roommate I was going to marry this perfect guy. Being more level-headed than I was at the time, she reasoned that he must have at least one flaw. I had to admit that he did, in fact, have one major flaw. He had a very unusual last name, a name that made no sense at all. My roommate and I had a good laugh as I told her that my perfect date’s last name was Barnstable.
Before I drifted off to a peaceful sleep that dreamy night, I remembered a serious prayer I had prayed not long before, after the terrifying experience in a nightclub. I had asked God to help me find good friends and end my two-sided lifestyle. I knew I needed friends who believed in God and wanted to live their lives for Him. I reminded God about this prayer and thanked Him for the new friend I had just found.
Since my first date with Kim went so well, we planned the second date for two nights later. It was the Thursday before Thanksgiving, and we both wanted to see each other again before we travelled home to see our families for the long weekend. Kim picked me up with plans to treat me to an expensive dinner in a high-end restaurant. The upscale dining room was perched on the top floor of a five-star hotel. Our gourmet meals were presented in sophisticated style, but the fine cuisine and luxurious surroundings went unnoticed. Our gaze was fixed on each other as we sat across the table in a dreamlike daze of infatuation.
I could tell he wanted to kiss me, and the feeling was mutual. We couldn’t wait till we reached the car. Our first kiss happened in the elevator as soon as we left the restaurant.
This date was much shorter than our first date since we both had commitments the next day. But as we said good night we both admitted that we could hardly wait for the long weekend to be over so we could see each other again.
Our conversation that evening revealed another layer of my handsome date. Besides our shared goals and beliefs, I discovered another trait that I respected and admired. Kim held tightly to his Christian standards. He had not compromised his faith and his values despite the many temptations of his sports world and the influences of his teammates.
Could it be that he is the answer to my prayers?
Your Story:
Infatuation and Love
Thinking Back
• Who was the first person that you fell in love with? What attracted you to this person initially?
• What circumstances led to your first encounter with each other?
Thinking Inward
• What feelings or emotions did you experience as you got to know this special person?
• What aspects of their personality did you admire the most? What made these traits appealing to you?
Thinking Outward
• Before you met each other, did you have an idea in mind of the type of person you were hoping to find? Did anyone or any couples influence your view of a desired relationship?
• Did family members or friends comment on your relationship or your compatibility?
Thinking Forward
• What have you learned from your past romantic relationship(s) that influences the person you are today and how you view the future?
• What are the hopes and dreams you have for your relationship(s) of the future?
Write a Prayer: Tell God your thoughts and questions about the relationships