is not a book about “spirituality”—acquiring spiritual “experiences”—but about being open to reality, which includes and indeed is rooted in the reality of God. “Beholding is inclusive, organic, ungrasping, and self-emptying” (p. xvi). This book is intended for everyone who has had enough of “spiritual writing” and is looking for something that will make sense of normal human experience and integrate it into the knowledge of God through Christ.
John Barton
Oriel & Laing Professor of the
Interpretation of Holy Scripture
University of Oxford
Acknowledgments
The essays in this book have been revised and rewritten. In their original form they were published in the following journals: “Cranberries,” “Whatever Happened to Discretion?,” “The Space of Prayer,” “The Walrus of the Living God,” “Writing the Icon of the Heart,” “Remembering to Forget,” “Barking at Angels,” “Liturgy in Truth,” and “Practical Adoration” were all published in Weavings between 2003 and 2008. “Tears and Fire” was first published in Sobornost (Spring, 1987). “The Ecology of Repentance” was published in the now defunct magazine Creation in September, 1992. “Heaven Can’t Wait” appeared in Heaven, edited by Roger Ferlo, New York: Seabury Press, 2007.
Many people provided personal support and encouragement during the revision of these articles; there is room to mention only a few. Naomi Starkey has offered patient editorial advice and information. Professors Sebastian Brock, Vincent Gillespie, and John Barton, all of Oxford University, have been faithful friends, colleagues, and mentors for more than two decades. There are no words to describe what Marion Glasscoe has taught me. John Mogabgab and Pamela Hawkins gave incisive editing for the earlier versions of the essays published in Weavings. The late Abbott Conway, along with Rachael Mitchinson, Beth and Graham Edwards, and Frazer Crocker, have made always helpful comments and suggestions. Special thanks to Terri Hobart for incomparable line editing, to Lucy who provided comfort during this challenging process, and to Mike, Tate, and Jack for Texas hospitality. My gratitude also to Bill Countryman and John Coolidge, who have been helping me with Greek and Hebrew; any mistakes are entirely mine. I am also grateful for the always unfailingly courteous and friendly assistance of the staff of Duke Humfrey’s library and the Upper Reading Room at the Old Bodleian. The All Saints Sisters of the Poor in Oxford provided housing over a number of winters for a peppercorn rent. And last but certainly not least, my thanks to John and Margie Thelen, who provide a port in a storm.
Introduction
How long shall I be in the world of the voice and not in the world of the word? For everything that is seen is voice and is spoken with the voice, but in the invisible world there is no voice, for not even voice can utter its mystery. How long shall I be voice and not silence, when shall I depart from the voice, no longer remaining in things which the voice proclaims? When shall I become word in an awareness of hidden things, when shall I be raised up to silence, to something which neither voice nor word can bring.1
There is a silence of the tongue, there is a silence of the whole body, there is the silence of the soul, there is the silence of the mind, and there is the silence of the spirit. . . . The silence of the spirit is when the mind ceases even from stirrings caused by spiritual beings, and when all its movements are stirred solely by Being; in this state it is truly silent, aware that the silence which is upon it is itself silent.2
Silence is context and end, beholding the means. In the final analysis, this is all we need to know.
This silence is not the absence of noise; it is the vast interior landscape that invites us to stillness. At its heart, in our heart, it is the Other. Silence is not in itself religious, but to express the ineffable joys found in its depths is almost impossible without metaphors that frequently sound religious.
Silence and beholding coinhere, mutually informing one another.
Beholding, also, is not in itself religious; the primordial silence we engage in beholding is unnameable and not an object. Beholding leaves traces in its context and bestows an energy that is likewise often expressed in religious metaphor.
If the silence and the beholding that underlie these metaphors are not acknowledged and understood, we cannot interpret any of the texts that refer to the processes of the interior life, including Scripture. For example, in the Bible the imperative form of the word behold has more than thirteen hundred occurrences in Hebrew and Greek. After God has blessed the newly created humans, the first word he speaks to them directly is “Behold . . .” (Gen 1:29). This is the first covenant, and the only one necessary; the later covenants are concessions to those who will not behold.
In the NRSV, however, the word behold appears only twenty–seven times in the Old Testament and the Apocrypha, and not at all in the New Testament. Without the behold, how are we to understand the end of Matthew’s Gospel, “Behold! I am with you always, to the end of the age” (28:20)? For it is in the covenant of beholding that the risen Christ is with us until the end of time. The movement of beholding is a lived recapitulation of the en–Christing of Philippians 2:5–11. Yet, the word the NRSV uses in Matthew 28:20 instead of behold—remember—has nothing of this covenant of engagement or self-emptying. It debases the text and raises the question, “How is the risen Christ with us until the end of time?” Does he flit about like Casper the ghost, saying, “Catch me if you can”? The word remember, among other faults, is one-sided and dualistic. It seeks to circumscribe and control. It struggles unsuccessfully to express what is implicit in the word behold. The NRSV has taken a restatement of the first covenant of Genesis and turned it into an isolated memory that reduces those whom Jesus leaves behind to orphans, abandoned and alienated, contravening Jesus’s promise in John 14:18.
Hebrew and Greek authors are careful to distinguish bodily seeing from beholding or inward vision. Jesus himself comments on the use of the word behold in Luke 17:21, echoed in Matthew 24:26 and Mark 13:21. Having lost the sense of behold, most modern translators make hash of this passage. The New Jerusalem translation is arguably the worst, missing entirely the internal clue whether entos should be translated within or among.3 In the context of what has been said above about beholding, the passage may be interpreted as follows. The kingdom of heaven is not an observable phenomenon of which you might say, “Look, here it is,” or “Look, there it is,” using the analytical observation of the bodily eye. Neither behold nor the kingdom of heaven is subject to linear, worldly analysis. Even if someone says, “Behold, here it is,” or “Behold, there it is,” don’t believe him; it’s a misuse of the word behold. The word behold is appropriate only to the invisible kingdom of heaven within you, and that kingdom is beholding.4 By extension, the kingdom of heaven cannot be manifest among you until it is manifest within you. Beholding entails all the moral and ethical outward behavior that Jesus teaches. To put this another way, ordinary seeing is analytical; it makes hierarchies, discriminates, grasps, and controls. Beholding is inclusive, organic, ungrasping, and self-emptying.
Silence and beholding are our natural state. As Irenaeus puts it, “The glory of God is the human being fully alive, and the glory of the human being is the beholding of God”: the two clauses are interdependent.5 The story of the garden of Eden tells us of the primordial distraction from beholding, the descent into noise, and the bewilderment caused by the projections we call experience. All our ills come from the loss of silence and beholding, our failure to listen, and our insistence on our flawed and limited interpretations. It was in the context of beholding that we were given stewardship of the earth; it is in the context of distraction that we have (mis)managed it. As the pace of contemporary life accelerates and the rising tide of noise degrades the biosphere, the need to recover and, more especially, to practice silence and seek
