Healing—becoming more fully human—is always incomplete. If we hold out for perfection, not only will we be perpetually discontent by always being less than whole, but we will also never come to terms with our own fallibility, shortcomings and brokenness. Life itself is an unfinished business, and being human comes with a lifelong search for wholeness. There are no shortcuts, no quick fixes, no prayer or incantation to make everything alright.
The idea that we should be completely right with God before we’re ready for a relationship perpetuates the same myth of the perfect self that romantic comedies do. The romantic comedy says that we become perfectly whole and satisfied when we fall in love with just the right person; the me-and-Jesus version says, “I’ll bring my completed, perfect self to your completed, perfect self and together we can have the happiest marriage anyone has ever had, God bless us both.” In both cases, the perfect, self-sufficient, self-reliant man or woman is still the ultimate goal.
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