and back to fosters as Bonnie got clean, blew it, and tried again. Ironically, the other time Cami remembers when a difficult behavior precipitated their removal, the blame fell on her.
“I love animals, all animals. The family had this puppy, and it was so cute, but I was maybe eight or nine, and I didn’t see it and I backed up and stood on the puppy’s leg and broke it. Then the woman called and had us taken out of the home. They wouldn’t believe I hadn’t done it on purpose. I still swear to you—it’s like ten years later we’re talking about this, and I still swear—I didn’t mean to. I would never have done that on purpose. I love animals. I just didn’t see the puppy. But we were out.”
That particular foster home had been looking for an excuse to send them away, the girls knew. Unable to have children of their own, the couple wanted to adopt. Cami and Debbie weren’t yet available for adoption; besides, these foster parents wanted just one child, and younger. Although sometimes it’s just a personality mismatch—you are not the child these foster parents are looking for—in other cases those seeking to adopt get frustrated that the kids in their house are not available because someone is trying to regain custody.
Eventually, an unspoken message wafts through the home: hurry up and leave so we can find our forever kid. It’s not unusual for kids to pick up on such clues in the vibe of a house. In fact, foster children who lack the skill to discern what kind of place they’re in might have a rough row to hoe. Cami swears she got so good at it, she could tell on the car ride to their new location whether these were people fostering with the intent to adopt, for a paycheck, out of kindness, or for some other reason.
A parent who drives in silence may not be emotionally invested. The silent ones might be interested strictly in the minimum they would be required to provide without getting their license pulled—in which case, start hiding food in your room right away. Or they could be more the “don’t bother me and here are the rules and there’s the fridge, now let’s just get along” types. Others might say differently, Cami added with her characteristic caution, but in her experience the silent drivers rarely turned into forever family.
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