B.R.M. (Bathroom Reading Material) for Youth Workers. Jeremy Halstead
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For several years our New Year’s event was a mobile lock-in that started at the local YMCA and eventually ended back at the church. We then tweaked it from playing sports at the YMCA to watching a professional hockey game followed by a lock-in. When the local hockey team folded, it forced us to change the format again; however, we still do a New Year’s event.
Meeting Places
This is where you can truly be creative. Just because you may have a youth room does not mean you always have to meet there. If you are leading a Bible study with a dvd curriculum, meet in the home of the church member with the largest flat screen and family room. Flag football should be played at the home of the church member with the largest backyard. Girl’s only meetings should be hosted in a home that is warm, safe, comfortable and inviting. Bon fires need to be held down on the farm (and include a hay ride). Guy’s only meetings should be held in the corner booth of the best wings place in town. Summer Bible studies have to be at the home of the person who has a swimming pool. Hot tubs are great during winter. Coffee shops are awesome for senior high and college age students. City parks with awesome play grounds and lots of green space are ideal for junior high students.
Even if you opt to use your youth room more times than not, change the way it looks. Re-arrange or change out the furniture, re-paint every two years, add lighting, get rid of old stuff, trade the ping pong table for air hockey, and always decorate to match the current holiday or the current theme of your study.
Stay For A Generation
Regardless if you are a full time, part time or volunteer youth leader, commit to stay at least one generation of students; which is six to seven years, depending on if sixth graders are a part of your ministry or not.
When I was in college I was taught that the average stay of a youth pastor, across denominational lines, was eighteen months; and I believed it. So when I hit eighteen months at my first ministry I was very proud. At the three year mark I thought I had accomplished something because I had stayed twice as long as the national average. As I worked my way towards five years, and then eight years, I began looking around and asking other youth pastors how long their tenures had been. What I discovered was that everyone I talked to was staying well over eighteen months, but not enough of them were staying for a generation.
Fourteen years into youth ministry, and half way through my master’s degree, I had a professor share with me that he and some collogues had done a study and found that the national average was not eighteen months, but closer to three years; which is still only half of a generation of students.
I left my first ministry after eight and half years, and when I was in the interview process of the church I am currently serving, I entered into a covenant with the church leaders where I would not talk to, nor interview with, any other churches, and they agreed that they would not talk to, nor interview, any other candidates until God had revealed His will concerning our situation. After I was hired I prayed that God would protect me and my ministry by not allowing the temptation of another church or ministry to enter into my life. During my ten year tenure here I have only had one job offer; and it was easy to turn down. This is God’s confirmation in my life and my ministry that this is where He wants me to be: serving the church and my students for more than a generation.
Best friends Megan and Molly had just entered the youth group as new seventh graders shortly before I arrived in Eaton. Together, we journeyed through their junior high and high school years. They were highly involved in my ministry and in the life of the church, and I, in turn, was highly involved in their lives. I cheered Molly on as she played soccer, basketball and softball, and Megan as she played volleyball; and watched them both on Friday nights as they were both in the marching band. The three of us shared many dinner tables together. I was a guest in both of their homes and they were always welcome in mine. I was in the bleachers the day they walked across the football field, and across the make shift stage of their high school graduation; an event I would not have celebrated with them had I not stayed for a generation. Four years later Rhonda and I traveled to the University of Toledo to see Molly graduate with her bachelor’s, and a week later we were at Anderson University to watch Megan graduate with hers; again, events I would not have not attended had I not stayed longer than a generation.
Every June and Every Six Years
Every full time youth pastor has been asked (and more than once), “When are you going to get your own church?” or “When are you going to become a real pastor?”
The reality of those two asinine questions is that students are the church, and youth pastors work more hours and have a harder job than any other pastor on staff. Oh, yeah, I went there.
A senior pastor’s congregation changes when babies are born, families join the church, families leave the church, and when people die. A youth leader’s congregation changes every June when we graduate seniors and bring in our new sixth or seventh graders. And, every six to seven years we have a completely different congregation.
As we ride the ebb and flow of youth ministry and youth culture, and plan the direction of our ministry, we must keep these two inevitable facts in mind.
Deep Pockets
Once you have been serving in your church long enough to establish relationships with the adult population that has neither children nor grandchildren involved in the youth ministry, yet has a passion to support students and student ministries, partner with them to financially support your ministry and your students.
Public relations will go a long way in gaining financial support from these adults, such as, meeting them for lunch to share about the ministry, inviting them to your youth room, to a youth meeting or on an event so that they can see for themselves, and by sharing pictures, stories and personal testimonies with them.
I once invited a retired pastor to go to summer camp with us, as we were in need of a counselor. That one week that he spent with me and my students has him hooked as one of our biggest ministry supporters.
Do not ask for a blank check to throw a pizza party with, instead ask for a specific dollar amount to send kids to summer camp, or to buy a ministry tool, or to scholarship students on a missions trip.
Build Your Own Waffle Night
Borrow a bunch of waffle irons from your parents and church members (a bunch is defined by however many you need for the size of your group). Have each student bring an item: waffle mix, cooking spray, butter, syrup, chocolate chips, blueberries, peanut butter . . .
Mix up several bowls of batter, plug in the irons and let the students build their own waffles. Kick it up a notch and have an adult make eggs to order, and another fry bacon and sausage.
You can substitute waffles with tacos, coneys, baked potatoes, salad, French bread pizza, or whatever other food students can build their own for dinner.
These nights work great with a four to six week long small group; simply rotate the menu item each week.
Must Have Ministry Tools
Below is a list of must haves to pull off some of your ministry events. Collect these items via donations or garage sales and stock pile them in a hidden closet of your church so that other ministries do not walk away with them: