attracted to her until he became smitten with her in May 1942—feelings about which she had no idea at that stage and which she did not share for him. She was only eighteen, after all, while he was an eminent figure aged thirty-six.
It was not until three months later, August 1942, that Bonhoeffer was able to return to the estate, having had no contact with her over that period. While he was there tragic news came that Ruth’s son Hans, Maria’s father, had been killed at Stalingrad, aged fifty-four. Not long after Maria’s older brother, Max, who had been part of the family confirmation class conducted by Bonhoeffer, was also killed. Possibly through Bonhoeffer’s pastoral care and sensitivity at the time, he and Maria grew closer, prompted by Ruth the grandmother, but resisted by Maria’s mother Ruth, who forbade Bonhoeffer to come to her son’s funeral. Eventually Maria’s mother relented and agreed to the relationship on the stringent grounds that there be a year separation and restricted correspondence. In ordinary times those conditions would have been onerous enough, but in the place in which Dietrich Bonhoeffer found himself it was like an eternity. He eventually proposed to her by letter January 10, 1943.
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