visit to Maryville made Mother Anselma more convinced than ever that something had to be done about the living conditions for the sisters. Far too much time was wasted, she believed, in unnecessary talking and consultation with the priests. For this she blamed Father Adelhelm, at least in part. Sister Agnes was unhappy as a cook, and apparently could not please either Adelhelm or Ignatius, both of whom were sick from time to time. Anselma hesitated to return Agnes to Conception: “I don’t know what I will do with her there. You know well how things went already at Maria Rickenbach,” she explained to Abbot Anselm.16 Again she asked the abbot’s advice about allowing the sisters to rent rooms in a private home, for four dollars per month, which seemed expensive and might not be acceptable to the people of the parish. Adelhelm had already had his word: “He said it would bankrupt him, as it were, for he would have to hire strangers to do the work.”17 Undaunted by any suggestion that the sisters’ living conditions were anything but ideal, Adelhelm asked in September of 1877 for another sister to help with the kitchen work and the care of the horses and stable.
Mother Anselma wrote of these conditions to Abbot Anselm, noting that all three of the priests at Maryville were sickly and needed special attention, including a few delicacies now and then. She was embarrassed by the lack of order in the house and wished that Adelhelm would be more firm, especially with Sister Agnes, who seemed to enjoy tending the chickens more than the kitchen. She thought that assigning specific duties to each sister, should they remain in the rectory, might help matters: “Bernardine will take care of Adelhelm’s room and the church; Augustina the house.” Perhaps Abbot Anselm had suggested Sister Bernardine for training the novices, for Mother Anselma told him that she still found Bernardine too strict, and that she needed experience in order to become more gentle.
Adelhelm’s opinion about housing prevailed, and when Sisters Bernardine and Augustina arrived in Maryville to open the school in the fall of 1876, they moved into the already overcrowded rectory. Sister Bernardine was appointed superior of the group of three, indicating that Mother Anselma had confidence in her ability to cope with whatever difficulties were bound to arise. From the first, Bernardine enjoyed the approval and approbation of Adelhelm, and the two became close friends. Even with the best of good will, life was hard in Maryville, as Sister Bernardine described their duties to Mother Gertrude:
One must not imagine the Maryville rectory to be a comfortable little parish house as in Europe; it is more like a common hotel. Two Sisters are appointed for the school with about 100 children who all have a different kind of education. Thirty children might make for ten to twelve groups, all different in ability and knowledge. There are six hours of daily instructions requiring good lungs. The subjects of the upper grades are rather difficult and require much time for preparation. Besides this, the Sisters have to sing three High Masses every week, to keep the church clean, to do the sacristy, take care of two or three horses, two cows, sixty to seventy chickens, to plant a garden about as large as yours. For the time being, there are seven of us for whom there is cooking, washing and mending to be done.18
Before Christmas, Sister Bernardine wrote an affectionate letter to her superior in Maria Rickenbach. She expressed regret that they did not have a proper chapel in Maryville, and could not possibly observe hours of adoration. Yet she took comfort in the fact that the sacristy work enabled her to spend some time before the altar. Indeed, her classroom was a part of the church, so she treasured that opportunity to be close to the house of God. Some building was going on, because Sister Adela, who was sent to replace Agnes as cook, would have a new kitchen and storeroom soon. Sister Augustina was serving as upper-grade teacher, organist, and master of the horses, a challenging combination to say the least.19
Before the school year was over, however, the health of both the teaching sisters in Maryville suffered. Mother Anselma informed Mother Gertrude at Maria Rickenbach that the sisters in Maryville worked so hard that in a few years they would be unfit for any kind of work. In January, Mother Anselma noted that Sister Bernardine had become rather sickly. By February, she was sick half the time, and Father Ignatius and the young Frater Anselm had to substitute for her. They finally hired a girl to help with the house and church work. In March, Sister Beatrix was sent from Conception to replace Sister Bernardine, while the latter returned to Conception to rest and recuperate.20
Sister Augustina suffered from another form of illness, which tension and overwork could well have brought on. According to Father Adelhelm, she was tempted to run away, and even contemplated suicide, both signs of fatigue and depression. He recommended this troubled sister to the prayers of the Swiss community, but seemed totally unaware that overwork and strain might be contributing to her illness.21
For Sister Bernardine, in spite of her inability to carry a full schedule of work, Adelhelm had nothing but praise.
This good soul was sick most of last year, as she did penance for Maryville and so could not do much else. With a tearful heart I let her go (back to Conception) hoping that God would give her back to us. To me it seems she has been made by God as spiritual mother of Maryville. Dear Sister Beatrix helps me more—she is a good Martha—but Sister Bernardine a better Mary.22
The stay at Conception, from March until April 1877, was not a happy time for either Mother Anselma or Sister Bernardine. The latter became absolutely convinced that she did not want to spend the rest of her life as a part of the Conception community. Anselma, for her part, wrote, “Sister Bernardine had no peace here and wanted to return to Maryville. I cannot quite understand her. Our Lord will show what He wants of us. It will require prayer.”23 Personality differences seem to have been present from the start.
Mother Anselma’s letters reveal a sincere religious woman, often overwhelmed by the demands of life in a new country, too much work, and the need to make decisions about schools, buildings, and a variety of practical matters for which her life as a cook at Maria Rickenbach could have offered little or no preparation. She often mentioned her difficulties with the English language, and the constant necessity to study more, even though this was an added task in an already burdened schedule. It must have been discouraging to see other sisters master the language more readily, to pass teachers’ examinations, and to be able to communicate more easily than their superior, who in those days was often required to speak and communicate for the group.
The division of authority has already been mentioned, and it continued to be a severe cross for Mother Anselma to bear. More and more she saw her own authority eroded, while the responsibility for the sisters remained with her. She became convinced that Sister Bernardine wanted to make Maryville a separate community, and that Father Adelhelm supported her in this, indeed probably gave her the idea in the first place. “Father Adelhelm’s opinion and favorite dream that Sister Bernardine was the born Mother of Maryville, and had come to the New World only for this purpose, had perhaps gone to Sister’s head. She felt she had received a special call from God and was destined to found a convent there for herself, she wrote.”24
In fairness to Sister Bernardine, it is necessary to point out that relations between Maryville and Conception were strained before she ever arrived. Father Adelhelm considered himself a missionary, and apparently did not intend to settle in the Missouri prairies forever. Had they not been sent to find a mountainous spot? How could they found a new Engelberg “Angel Mountain” without mountains? Father Ignatius Conrad was even more emphatic about the fact that he had come to America to be a missionary, not to settle down to a semi-cloistered copy of Beuron. The sisters had to be aware of the disparity of thought among the monks, and undoubtedly reflected some of their thinking.
Although Adelhelm had no official authoritative position in relation to the sisters, it is obvious that practical day-to-day decisions had to be made in Maryville. Since church, school, convent, and rectory were all in one spot, each person’s work, anxieties, and decisions affected everyone else. Adelhelm’s light-hearted manner and optimistic attitude must have lightened the spirits of the sisters on more than one occasion. On the other hand, they must have sometimes become frustrated and annoyed, for his lack of practical and financial sense left them in need,
