A Daughter’s Book of Secrets
Things a Dad Should Tell His Daughter before She Leaves Home
Robin K. Johnson
A Daughter’s Book of Secrets
Things a Dad Should Tell His Daughter before She Leaves Home
Copyright © 2016 Robin K. Johnson. All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations in critical publications or reviews, no part of this book may be reproduced in any manner without prior written permission from the publisher. Write: Permissions, Wipf and Stock Publishers, 199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3, Eugene, OR 97401.
Resource Publications
An Imprint of Wipf and Stock Publishers
199 W. 8th Ave., Suite 3
Eugene, OR 97401
www.wipfandstock.com
paperback isbn: 978-1-4982-9215-3
hardcover isbn: 978-1-4982-9217-7
ebook isbn: 978-1-4982-9216-0
Manufactured in the U.S.A. December 14, 2016
To all my daughters: Chrishanda, Leah, Jesika-Dyann, Judietta, Jenifer, Amber Rae, Cailyn, Mikkel, Rebekah, Melissa, and Jaleesa
To the staff and volunteers of Bay Area Turning Point Webster, Texas
—YOU LADIES INSPIRE ME
Foreword
Is there a life experience more beautifully traumatic than a father watching his children grow up?
The transition typically happens over a long period. A newborn daughter may enjoy the tight swaddle of her father, but then over the years, celebrated milestones will begin a process of separation: first steps, first words (and thus first spoken opinions like “Mine!”) The child goes to kindergarten. A friend invites her for a sleepover. Eventually, she is riding her own bike to soccer practice, or playing the flute on stage by herself and dad is limited to the role of spectator. Puberty transforms the relationship with dad in both exciting and uncomfortable ways. At some time, love and dating enter the picture, bringing fathers to entire new levels of protective instincts.
And then suddenly, in cruel brevity, a father’s eighteen-year dance of nurturing independence culminates in this young girl becoming a woman and the mundane parts of that independence often bring lots of anxiety to poor dad. Many dads have held back tears while helping their daughter move into a new dorm, new apartment, new life.
Robin’s words represent all that fathers want to give to their daughters. He covers the practical advice from car maintenance to apartment safety precautions. He even ventures to areas of hygiene and “dropping kids off at the pool,” a conversation most often avoided by teenage daughters. But after this pragmatic advice, Robin focuses on a set of spiritual principals, based on biblical texts. He encourages his daughters to consider the wisdom of Scriptures and to let these texts guide and protect in ways that he can no longer do.
I remember Robin in my biblical studies classes, as he learned historical critical approaches to biblical texts and as he worked on exegetical assignments. He was interested in biblical interpretation and contexts, but I most remember how so much of his learning was tied to his own self-identity as a father.
I believe that this book is a reflex of Robin’s own experience as a theology student and father. As I read his words, I imagine him in his home, surrounded by pictures of his children, recalling both pride and regret as a father. I imagine that Robin’s writing of this book was therapeutic in that by giving these words to his daughters, he is still with them, wherever they go in this world. Yes, perhaps he wrote this for himself and for dads around the world.
It is a message written through a labor of love to be shared with others.
Dr. Roger S. Nam, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Biblical Studies
George Fox Evangelical Seminary
Foreword
On the desktop of my computer lies a file called “The Wisdom of Dad.” This file holds a collection of cartoons, pithy sayings, and sage advice from my father. It is evidence of his deep love for me, usually in comic form. I click on the file every now and then and as I read I can hear his voice, a voice that has saved me from disaster so many times. It is a voice that I ignore at my own peril. In my office there is another bit of evidence of my father, a file labeled “Communications.” This file holds bits and pieces of hand written love sent through the mail over the span of my lifetime, and they are precious to me. When I need to be reminded of who I am, my father’s words pull me back to center. How often I have wished for a compilation of these words, along with the many that were spoken yet never written.
A father has the power to hold a daughter in a way that no one else can, not even a mother or a good husband. The words of a father are creative. His words have the potential to spark life or cause death in the soul of his daughter and therefore must be lovingly thought out and carefully expressed. One way or the other, they will remain with her forever.
Robin K. Johnson brings his love, compassion, and wisdom to life for his daughters in A DAUGHTERS BOOK OF SECRETS. Written as a love letter, he offers a peak into the intimate discussions a father and daughter. Johnson delivers common sense priorities for everyday life expressed with humor and pragmatism, addressing everything from intimacy (you are not an amusement park ride), home safety (never take the trash out at night), relationship Oh-Oh’s (he wants to borrow money?), to party safety (get your own drink to avoid roofies) and much more.
Bruce and his baby girls—Deborah, Lisa and Krissann
Johnson adds a Consider This On This Day section, which includes devotional readings and thoughts to nurture the souls and spirits of his daughters as they become young women of faith and citizens of the world. It becomes evident that Johnson cares more for his daughter’s hearts than he does about their right or wrong doing. Speaking with grace and compassion, he says, “There is not a man on earth worth the salt in your tears.” What woman on earth doesn’t want that dad?
Each devotional opens a door for discussion on deep levels of identity, relationship, belonging and love, leaving ample opportunity to add your own bits of wisdom and advice to Johnson’s. Although I have been an adult woman and a Christian for many years, I felt the father heart of God in a new way through Johnson’s writing.
It is my hope that you will read this humorous, heartwarming, and practical book from cover to cover with your daughters. Maybe you will feel God the Father in a new way too.
Deborah Koehn Loyd, M.Div.
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