thought he was going to die, and his tent mates thought he was going to die, too. And he wanted to die at home, which was a good many miles away from Charleston, back up in the mountains of western North Carolina. And his tent mates put him on a train, sewed up a lot on Confederate money . . . in the lining of his coat so he would have enough money for his needs on the way home. Train crews lifted him off of one train onto the next when he had to change. Finally, he got to Walhalla, the county seat town of Oconee County, that was the end of the railroad. It was about forty miles, I suppose, further on to his home in the mountains. And he lay on the station platform in Walhalla two whole days, begging anybody who could to take him to his home in the mountains and also, if anybody could, to get the word to his family, that he was there.
Finally, a black man who had a horse and wagon, hauled freight from the station to the stores in town, picked him up and put him in his wagon and took him home. When they . . . got to his home, the road crossed a little creek, below the house on the mountainside and he called out to Jeanette, my grandmother, his wife, ‘I’m home’ and ‘Bring clean clothes and towels and soap, but don’t come near me.’ From his wounds, the pus and the blood, and from insects that all soldiers in most wars . . . know about, he said, ‘I’m lousy and don’t come near me, but bring these and throw them across the creek.’ She did that. The black man very gently undressed him and bathed him there in the creek and dressed him in clean clothes and then took him carefully up to the house.
‘Who is my neighbor?’ My neighbor is whoever will help me in my time of need, when I’m in the ditch—that person, regardless of race, religion, or creed, is my neighbor. And it may be the person I would least like to receive help from. It certainly was for the man in the ditch. A Jew receiving help from a Samaritan? Unheard of in the first century! What about today? Who is your neighbor? In the Kingdom of God, all barriers are broken down. We are called to love God and our neighbor as ourselves. Amen.”
During the communion that followed, Ham reflected on the Rev. England’s homily. He knew exactly what he was talking about, not wanting help from somebody who has offended you or annoyed you. His daddy, Thom Jeff, called it his “shit list.” Ham was pretty sure the list was mental, but Thom Jeff kept it up to date. Ham thought he’d be surprised if Jesus or even Rev. England called it a “shit list” (though Jesus at least did have a lot of harsh things to say about some of the Pharisees), but they both definitely knew what a “shit list” was. “Which of these would I least like to receive help from?” In other words, “Who on my shit list would I least like to help me when I’m in the ditch?” Ham was sure he got the point.
He thought of his own shit list. Usually at the top would go his daddy, but Ham dismissed him almost immediately on the grounds that at this point in his life he cared so little for Thom Jeff he couldn’t imagine mustering up enough resentment to put him on the list. There were several other candidates. There was JC sitting beside him. Certainly they had their struggles over the years. The better you know someone the more clearly you see and know his faults. But Ham knew in his heart JC was the person Ham would most easily accept help from. And JC was not on Ham’s shit list—that was unimaginable.
He turned his gaze to the front of the sanctuary where people were receiving communion. Communion at Second Little Rock Baptist Church was observed by intinction, in which church members came to the front and dipped the bread into the wine. And they used real wine. There was Sarah Elizabeth Corn receiving a piece of torn bread from Brother Bob. She had made fun of Ham’s name in the seventh grade. But he harbored no real resentment toward her.
Next was Carolyn Leggett. Ham thought about her for a long while. Carolyn used to be church treasurer until she was caught embezzling money from the church a couple of years earlier. But the church had arranged for her to pay the money back, and Ham really had no personal animosity toward her. She might be on somebody’s “list,” but not Ham’s. By the time these thoughts had run their course, everybody had gone to communion except the row in front of Ham and Ham’s row. As he stood in the line forming down the middle aisle, Ham saw Uncle Carl dipping bread into the wine. Where did he come from? It must have been a blue moon last night, Ham would tell Carl after church, because that’s when Carl came to church. Carl was now in the crosshairs of Ham’s “least like to receive help from” list. Ham would have plenty of reason not to want help from Carl. He was unreliable, and when he was drunk, he was an embarrassment. Wine dripped down Carl’s chin onto his white t-shirt. He grinned at Brother Bob and then started coughing. When he sat, Carl pulled the inhaler from his pocket. Yes, Ham thought, Carl would surely be on the list of people he didn’t want help from, even if he didn’t always rise to the level of the List.
With only five people in front of him in line, Ham realized he really didn’t have any enemies in the church or really either at school. So he thought of the “Sylva Streak,” Bobby Skeeter, the star of the Sylva Baseball team they would play next Friday. Skeeter was an excellent athlete, and Sylva had beaten Wilkes Central in nearly every game of every sport during Ham’s career. Yeah, he definitely wouldn’t want any help from Bobby Skeeter. Not that he considered him an enemy per se, but he was certainly an adversary—even a nemesis. Ham couldn’t imagine a situation in which he’d want help from Bobby Skeeter. So as he approached Brother Bob holding the bread and the co-pastor, Brother Matthew holding the chalice, he thought, yea, it’d be a tossup between Uncle Carl and Bobby Skeeter for the title of “Person I’d least like to receive help from.” He could feel the Vin Santo slide down his throat into his stomach. It was cool and left a sweet taste in his mouth.
That afternoon he picked up Nora and they drove to the Dairy Queen for a chocolate dipped ice cream cone. They sat side by side in a booth in the back with no one else around.
“Ham, I feel so guilty about last night. I meant to save myself for my weddin’ night. I didn’t sleep at all after I go home, worryin’ ‘bout what we did.”
“I know, but it just sorta happened. Besides, we’re gonna get married. You know I would marry you right after graduation if you’d say ‘yes.’”
“We don’t have any money, and we both want to go to college, Ham. And, everybody says we’re too young.”
“We can make it work, Nora, I promise. I’m hopin’ I can get a baseball scholarship ‘fore the end of the year. And I can get a part time job.”
“Well, that worries me, too, Ham. What if you get a scholarship some place far away, some place where I didn’t apply or can’t get in?”
“I’m hopin’ UNC will offer me; we can both go there. Or we’ll stay closer to home. I want us to be together.”
“We just can’t be together again like we were last night, okay Ham? Not til we’re married. It goes against everythin’ we’ve been taught at church and in our family.”
Ham couldn’t remember hearing exactly that at church, at least not under Brother Bob. But certainly Nora was right about family; his mother would not be happy if she knew he and Nora had sex. “Okay Nora. But it was wonderful, warn’t it?”
“Yes, Ham, it was.”
Ham leaned down and kissed Nora on her cheek. He thought about how much he loved the girl.
Chapter 3
Top of the seventh, Ham struck out the side! I think Ham just threw a no-hitter, Jesse!” Roy looked up from his scorebook, which he kept every game. It was “unofficial,” but generally more accurate than the book kept by the official scorer up in the booth who had been known to check his stats against Roy’s on more than one occasion
“No way, Roy, we’re behind 1–0,” Jesse replied.
Jesse
