cell. Repeat that one million times.
2. Release all expectations. Release them to your Higher Power, your God, or just scream them into a pillow, if need be. Traveling can be wonderful. Expectations of wonderfulness are not.
3. Plan ahead. Don’t wing it. Don’t fly by the seat of anything. Know your triggers and plan ahead.
4. Avoid airport bars. They are triggery and full of people who are, can you believe it, drinking. The gall. Instead, get a Cinnabon. They have fewer calories than four gin and tonics. And ultimately, they’re less embarrassing.
5. Plan also for failure. You will get lost. You will have a meltdown at the Eiffel Tower because the line is four kilometers long. You will eat snails. It will not go as planned. It is times like these that the Serenity Prayer is really handy.
6. Sober travel sometimes has to be, well, more expensive. Sometimes, recovery has to trump searching for a cheaper hotel or meal. Rest is crucial. Food is crucial. Not getting angry because your room is the size of a stamp is crucial.
7. However, if the only place you can find to grab a bite is a pub with gigantic, sloshy vats of beer, and everyone in there seems happy and sloshy too, and you start to feel a little bit left out, then pack a lot of food that’s really bad for you, like about sixteen million Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. Get mega packs. Also, keep your phone handy with meaningless games like Candy Birds or Angry Farm or whatever. There will be times of tired waiting and thinking. Stop thinking and numb out with technology and sugar. They’re good for you!
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