bending—with arms outstretched, bend one arm to touch fingertips to the opposite shoulder. Return to a straight arm. Repeat with the other arm. Alternate ten times, then bend both arms together ten times.
Head and neck movements—while seated in an upright position, on an exhale bring the chin to the chest. On an inhale return the head upright. Exhale and stretch the chin toward the ceiling, elongating the throat rather than dropping the head back. Inhale to upright position. Repeat chin to chest, then chin to ceiling, ten times.
On an exhale, turn the chin to the right shoulder, inhale to center, exhale chin toward the left shoulder, inhale to center. Repeat ten times.
On an exhale, slowly lower the right ear to the right shoulder, inhaling to center.
Exhale, moving the left ear to the left shoulder, and inhale to center. Repeat side to side ten times.
Sit in stillness for several minutes.
ASANA
Standing practice for full body movement, incorporating the breath.
“One Hundred Breaths Before Breakfast” Sequence
This is a daily exercise that you can do when you first get up—it can take between seven and fifteen minutes. It can also be done at any time during the day. Pose details are given at the end of the book. Before you begin this or any other practice, take a moment to set an intention—a wish or prayer for yourself. This is conventionally a long-term goal or aspiration such as developing patience, self-acceptance, compassion, or gratitude. Find something that suits you and incorporate that into your breath and movement.
Tadasana (standing mountain) See Appendix III for this and all pose details. Get centered, bringing the folded hands in front of the heart. Breathe four rounds of full, three-part dirga breaths.
Heart opening. Arms stretch wide on the inhale, ease head back, looking up if comfortable. Return to prayer position, hands before heart; gaze down on the exhale. Repeat ten times.
Hands go above head in upward salute on the inhale; exhale into forward fold. Keep knees bent and soft for the first few times. Do this ten times and end with arms overhead.
Left arm returns to the side. Exhale arching to the left, right hand extended overhead, inhale to upright ten times. Right arm returns to the side; left arm extends overhead; exhale, arching to the right; inhale to upright ten times.
Bring hands to waist. Inhale and exhale smoothly while twisting from side to side rhythmically, sixteen times total.
Right leg back, preparing for warrior II: inhale left arm forward, right arm back, both arms parallel to the ground. Bend left knee to ninety degrees on the exhale, straighten left knee on the inhale and drop right arm to right thigh. Exhale, looking back to right ankle, stretching the left arm up to the ceiling and then back, reaching the body back to the right leg in reverse warrior. Inhale and come up to arms parallel to floor, both legs straight, gazing forward. Repeat, moving between warrior II and reverse warrior ten full breath cycles.
Legs return to tadasana. Repeat for left side, bringing left leg back and lifting the right arm forward. Continue for ten full breath cycles.
Right leg back, preparing for warrior I: inhale arms forward and up overhead, bending left knee to ninety degrees. Exhale and straighten left leg, folding forward into pyramid pose, bringing arms forward reaching for knee, shin, ankle, or foot. Each successive time, arch back in warrior I with more intention and fold forward in pyramid pose with more vigor. Do this ten times. Repeat for left side ten times.
Return to tadasana. Give yourself a few centering breaths in this pose. Recall your intention and lie in sivasana/corpse pose for a few minutes or more.
chapter two notes
1 The Bhagavad Gita, translated by Laurie L. Patton. London, Penguin Books, 2008, verse 2.48.
2 Sparks, Tav. The Wide Open Door: The Twelve Steps, Spiritual Tradition, and the New Psychology. Center City, MN: Hazelden Educational Materials, 1993, p. 158.
3 Ibid., p. 161.
4 Bhagavad Gita: A New Translation, translated by Stephen Mitchell. New York: Three Rivers Press, 2000, p. 65, verse 3.19.
What Is Addiction?
There are two questions here: what is addiction, and why do we become addicted? I would like to address the second question before I delve into the first. There are genetic tendencies, rearing conditions, and the emotional/spiritual makeup of each individual. One can have had a perfect childhood with healthy parents, with no history of addiction in close family members, or one can have had an upbringing in a toxically dysfunctional home. There is not one certain path to addiction, but there are commonalities among addicts in how they perceive and process the world.
I believe that I moved down the path to addiction as an aversion to inner turmoil and psychic pain. Why did I allow myself to break the rules (of which I had been inordinately fond as a youth) to hang out with the forbidden people and do forbidden things? Why was I so attracted to risk and danger? My early family life left me with no trust in people, places, and things; trust in these could let you down. Chaos was a constant. I knew from the news, television, and my distressed junior high teachers that drinking and drugs were illegal and dangerous. I had attended Alateen (a twelve-step program for the children of alcoholics) when my mother first attempted to get sober. I was aware of the dangers of addiction, yet the release provided by drugs and alcohol—the complete distraction from daily life—was too alluring to avoid.
My descent into full-on addiction was swift, but it took many years before I finally hit bottom. At first I gave little thought to my feelings of misery, loneliness, and despair. I never questioned these feelings. I considered them to be an uncomfortable part of life that deserved no more or less attention than anything else. When I started getting loaded on a regular basis, I found relief from these painful and terrifying emotions. This was a double bonus! Simultaneously I had found freedom from the pain of life along with the exciting social aspects of drug use and drinking—the music and sex.
I was still very young when I determined that I could not live without these crutches—the booze, the drugs, and the partners. It kept me totally diverted from my pain until I couldn’t keep that lifestyle up any more. I was “sick and tired of being sick and tired”; I was unable to keep a semblance of a regular life, and no matter how much I used, I was still in agony. I found that point of no return long before I was actually able to quit drinking, using, and carousing. I came to that moment over and over—still unable to stop—adding self-loathing and a sense of entrapment to my other disowned feelings. My entire consciousness had moved away from searching for my true self, but this true self was pining for life. This cycle lasted until the day I sat on my bed, feeling that the essence of my inner self was slipping away. Not until then had I realized the true nature of this crisis. That was the moment in which I felt I had to make a choice—to walk out of the house and down the street into complete oblivion, or to change, to put down the booze, the drugs, and even “the guy,” and to start down the road to recovery. I chose to change. I had had my spiritual awakening.
Addiction Stems from a “Spiritual Malady”
The terms spiritual
