. . grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, and
The wisdom to know the difference.”
In this form, it is attributed to German theologian Reinhold Neibuhr, although as he himself said, he may have encountered the prayer or some variant of it years earlier. It’s true that there are many similar prayers found in many different traditions dating back to antiquity. It was introduced into twelve-step recovery by a member who had encountered it and found it helpful. The “Serenity Prayer” soon became one of the favorite prayers of persons in recovery and today is recited at many twelve-step meetings.
One solution to restore balance in your daily experience of life is to consciously separate what you may want from the reality of the situation. It’s normal, natural, and understandable to want things the way you want them, but recovery requires an ability to accept the things you cannot change. Applying the “Serenity Prayer” and focusing consciously on identifying the things you cannot change, as well as what you can do to better accept those things, will make noticeable, positive, and healthy differences in your experience of life. It is essential to remember that one thing you can always change is how you respond to the people, events, and situations in your life.
You can incorporate the “Serenity Prayer” into your recovery and into the exercises in this five-year planner. People, places, and things—even some things about yourself—will not change for you. In some cases, you will need to change your reaction to them. In others, you need to simply accept them and move on to the best of your ability. Applying the “Serenity Prayer” as a tool to clarify the things you cannot change—and therefore need to find a way to accept—versus the things you can change, is a solution-oriented approach to achieving balance and strengthening your recovery. (Use extra pages if necessary; don’t be limited to writing in the blank spaces provided.)
Applying the “Serenity Prayer”
“…grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can, and
The wisdom to know the difference.”
Related to your current life, identify something you cannot change and need to accept.
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Describe how you will begin to go about accepting it.
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Related to your current life, identify something you can change.
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Describe how you will begin to go about changing it.
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Describe how you can tell the difference between what you can and cannot change.
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In each of the following sections of this book, you will have an opportunity to use the Serenity Prayer as a resource for planning your future.
People often underestimate or deny the importance of their physical state to the quality of their lives, but the reality is that it is impossible to separate your physical condition from your overall state of balance. The four points of balance are inextricably connected. In other words, your body, mind, emotions, and spirit are constantly affecting each other. Each of us is here on earth in a physical body, and how we take care of our bodies directly affects how we think and feel about everything.
What are the recognizable signs of physical balance? Are they expressed in a “perfect” face, physique, hair color, or smile? Is a person in physical balance a marathon runner or tri-athlete? Maybe, but not necessarily. Although each person on earth has much in common with every other person, each of our bodies has different needs and abilities.
We know that we need fresh air, clean water, wholesome food, adequate sleep, and a certain amount of exercise in order to maintain our physical well-being. Some of us are happier with an athletic life that includes regular, vigorous exercise. Others are happier in a lifestyle that may be less active, but still allows for the performance of daily activities. Still others have physical lives that are defined by chronic pain or other physical challenges. Yet, no matter what physical type we are—active, sedentary, or challenged—there is an optimal physical state for each of us.
Whatever your optimal state is, working toward physical balance requires doing things each day to take care of and strengthen your
