male-dominated business arena. I didn’t see her cooking and cleaning; I saw her hustling and multitasking—then hitting the red carpet at night.
Before he retired, my father was a tough and successful investment banker who made sure I knew that there were no guarantees in life, and that I would have to work hard for anything I wanted. Because of his influence, I knew from an early age how to run a business. I was never formally taught these necessary skills, but I did hang out at my parents’ offices doing homework after school, and I soaked up everything I could, especially when I participated in the Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work activities. I had different goals, dreams, and aspirations than the other children I knew. I wanted to go to work each day, attend board meetings, and take the train to Washington, D.C., for powerful business trips—like my father had done throughout my childhood.
Lauren on … Your Professional Life
You control whether you sink or swim … I like to refer to logic, but ultimately I trust my intuition and march confidently to the beat of my own drum.
I always wanted to be big. In fact, my favorite film growing up was Big (1988), which starred Tom Hanks as Josh, a twelve-year-old boy who becomes a thirty-year-old man overnight (though still with his twelve-year-old brain and personality). Josh is hired by a toy company where he is quickly promoted to an executive position because of his unique insight into what children really want. I imagined myself as Tom Hanks’s character, participating in important meetings and having the ear of all the adults in the room.
In some ways, I was able to be like Josh. Beginning at age twelve, I was fortunate to work at some of America’s top businesses. I interned at Essence magazine for its CFO, Harry Dedyo, and I worked with the Terrie Williams Agency—a leading public relations and communications firm. I spent my summers interning with college students, and I loved it.
I grew up in a world filled with successful and powerful men and women, and I wanted to be like them. But I knew that the success I envisioned for my own future was never guaranteed, and I couldn’t take it for granted. I knew that I would have to work hard to find the success I desired in life, and when I found that success, I would have to work hard to find new opportunities and new successes.
So work I did, and work I will.
When I participated in the White House ceremony honoring the Empact100 young entrepreneurs, I made a pledge to give back and pay it forward. I will have accomplished that goal if readers gain a newfound confidence that allows them to recalibrate how they look at success, and live their lives on their own terms. The entrepreneurial journey is one of the most empowering, thrilling, and rewarding things anyone can experience in life. Being able to do what you love—and to be successful at it—is truly a gift.
Before you read another page, please answer the following questions for yourself: Who are you the cumulative investment of? Who has believed in you? Take a few minutes to write a thank-you note to those important people in your life, because far too many people don’t. I have personally written numerous thank-you notes, because I am the result of the cumulative investment of the many people who’ve believed in me throughout my life, and who saw more opportunity for me than I could see for myself. And I know that I will write many more in the future. In fact, I look forward to it.
You are also the cumulative investment of the many people who have believed in you throughout your life. I hope that you learn from my own experiences as an entrepreneur, mother, and twentysomething woman, and that you are able to apply and leverage these lessons for yourself—whether you use them in business or in your personal life. They have worked for me, and there’s no reason that they can’t work for you, too.
Lessons I Have Learned
Redefining your path requires you to take the uncommon route and embrace risks at what might seem to be the least logical time.
Create breakthrough moments in your life by being prepared for, and by attracting, opportunities from many different sources.
Keep growing by always learning and always experiencing new things.
Learn to work around obstacles instead of being trapped by them.
Be interesting—create the kind of appeal that transcends age, experience, race, and culture, and will make you a well-rounded and meaningful addition to any team or company.
If your dreams don’t scare you, they aren’t big enough. Remember: They should always be worth it, even if you fail.
Keep going and never stop.
CHAPTER 2
Build a Life That’s Serendipitous by Design
(It’s Okay to Ask for Help)
MY LIFE IS SERENDIPITOUS by design.
You’re probably wondering by now exactly what I mean by that. It means that although I try not to plan each and every detail in my life, I do make sure that I’m in the right place at the right time to enable good things to happen.
It’s no accident that I have a great network of people, and that many opportunities have developed from this network. I am still in touch with, and friends with, the people I looked up to, interned for, and worked with more than ten years ago. I used to wonder why it was that I would meet such amazing people at different events I attended—it must surely be a remarkable coincidence that they happened to be at the same place that I was. Eventually I realized that it wasn’t remarkable at all—we were traveling within the same networks and circles of business and social colleagues and acquaintances. These meetings were serendipitous, but they were no accident—I attended and I was prepared for them.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed about doing mortgage-backed acquisitions. I’m serious. I wanted to be an investment banker like my father. If there’s one recurring theme throughout my life, it’s that I wanted to be powerful and I wanted to be big and I wanted to be successful. As an entrepreneur, most of the businesses I started were either completely on my own or with a very small team. It’s therefore not surprising that when I was a kid I never played a team sport—ever. My love was individual sports—the kind of sports that depended solely on how well I performed as a player, and not on how well my team did. I tried field hockey for a second, and I failed miserably at basketball. In fact, when I dropped out of basketball, I decided to run the scoreboard for the guys and girls teams.
Lauren on … Serendipity
Follow a general path, but stay open to the possibility of unexpected opportunities appearing along the way. Always be prepared for the next big opportunity whenever it may arise. Know the resources you need and be committed to quickly learning what you need to know to be successful.
The one activity that I always stuck with was the violin. I was really good at it and, according to my father, violin is great for people who are mathematicians—he’s always thought that I was a numbers and math whiz. I also thrived as an equestrian and it was the focus of my life for some time—to the point where, when I was in school, I got special permission to use my hours of horseback riding as my PE credit and began training for the Olympics.
I thrived on having control over my own destiny. For as long as I can remember, I have wanted to take personal responsibility for my life. I thrive on the knowledge that I’m responsible for my successes and my failures. No one else. Whether or not I achieve it is all on me. This is what drives me, and this has always been my personality.
So while
