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For Edgar Bloom—
for your dedication to activism and paving the way for deaf people today
For Jess and BJ—
for giving me the gift of Zoe
For my sons, Blake, Chase, and Austin, without whom my journey to Self would not be complete. I love you more than life itself. B. R.
For Bill and Lucas—
Thank you for bringing yourselves to me every day.
For George Jaidar, my teacher—
I live to see through your eyes. G. H.
CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE Suddenly Soundless
CHAPTER TWO Changed by a Deaf Priest
CHAPTER THREE Deaf President Now
CHAPTER FOUR Full Circle
CHAPTER FIVE Our Family Hears
PART II
The Roads of Others
CHAPTER SIX Jess and BJ
CHAPTER SEVEN Love’s Sacrifice
CHAPTER EIGHT The Right Thing to Do
PART III
The Roads Converge
CHAPTER NINE Providence Provides
CHAPTER TEN Waiting All Our Lives
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Authors
Resources
ALL CHILDREN COME into our lives for a reason. Some are born to us, some are the children of friends or family, and some are brought to us through miracles. Some miracles come easy; others are disguised by struggles and weighted with challenges and tough decisions. Finding Zoe is the story of remarkable connections that entwined four families and led one baby girl away from perceived limitations and into the home of the mother—and family—that was meant to raise her.
I met Brandi Rarus for the first time when she became my understudy in the play Children of a Lesser God at the Immediate Theatre Company in Chicago. As teens, the two of us grew up in different suburbs of Chicago, but we shared the common experience of navigating our way through the mainstream at rival high schools. Midway through the play’s run, I captured the part of Sarah Norman in the movie version of Children of a Lesser God, and, at the age of 21, I became the youngest recipient of an Academy Award.
My work has honored me with the privilege of worldwide travel, where I have met deaf and hard-of-hearing children from all walks of life. Like Brandi, I have always moved easily between the hearing and Deaf communities, but rather than seeing the separation between the two, I recognize that we all live in one world—a world in which our differences can be celebrated. I learned long ago to embrace who I am and what I believe in, and Brandi experiences a similar journey in Finding Zoe.
Since those early days, our lives have taken off in different directions, but our paths continue to cross at various events within our Deaf community. Like Brandi, I’m a mother of four children, a role that has always kept me centered and grounded in the midst of a whirlwind acting career. I know without question that the love a mother has for her child is fierce and strong and that whether that child is biological or adopted, a mother’s heart knows no boundaries. Zoe began her life with two extremely young parents, a first set of adoptive parents, and foster parents, and then found her way into the hearts of Brandi’s family—where she belonged all along. Finding Zoe isn’t just the story of a deaf child’s journey; it is a story of love, heartache, sacrifice, and celebration.
Our stories in life are never really about what divides us anyway. Instead, they are about what brings us together in love, in sacrifice, in our heartaches, and in our joys. They are about how we survive when hope fades and how we rise above the crush of our own self-doubt. What we discover along the way is that our own perceptions are critical to our happiness and that our miracles are always found in acceptance and celebration of our differences.
—MARLEE MATLIN, ACADEMY AWARD–WINNING ACTOR
HOW FITTING THAT Brandi would ask us to write the preface for this beautiful, telling story. Not only was Alan the director of the National Technical Institute for the Deaf (when Brandi was a bubbly, young student there in the late 1980s) and is now the president of Gallaudet University—both of which have given us a connection to her for many years—but also, in so many ways, our backgrounds and experiences as parents are similar to hers and her husband Tim’s.
We can appreciate what a lucky child Zoe really is. To have parents like Brandi and Tim who are so involved in our Deaf community has given Zoe the opportunity to continuously learn about her culture—that of being deaf and proud. It didn’t surprise us when a few years back, Brandi uprooted the entire family, moving them from Clearwater, Florida, to Austin, Texas, just so that Zoe could attend the Texas School for the Deaf.
As is evident from reading this tale, Brandi was meant to be Zoe’s mother. We were in awe of Brandi’s life story and are grateful to her for baring her soul and writing personally and candidly about her experiences. As president of Gallaudet University, Alan is proud to be a part of the “Deaf President Now” legacy, shared so intimately and meaningfully in this book—the first we’d ever read that covers this monumental movement in Deaf History from such a personal perspective.
The story is sure to inspire both
