tossed out, too.
love made me reach out again and again growing
up.
not shoving, pushing love… but love that says
simply, with affirmation,
“i am a person with purpose and value. i will
be patient as you work at remembering that…”
by the time i graduated from high school, i was no
longer alienated.
it took time.
love does.
but the circle “drew us in.”
i felt belonging in the cafeteria,
in the gym,
at the bus stop.
love won.
it paid.
eric is my friend.
maybe i love him extra because he’s black.
i can imagine how it must feel
in a white-dominated world.
he’s six, and his favorite thing for me to do with
him is rub his head.
he stands tall with arms at his side, and
squirms with delight as i stroke his head
and pat his face.
“eric, i love you. it’s fun being your friend…”
word came to me that eric was to go in
for open heart surgery, and the odds were
poor.
i was upset.
i couldn’t lose eric.
he has reason to live.
the night before surgery, i drove into
massachusetts general hospital and went to the
sixth floor; most of the children were asleep.
not eric.
clean pajamas, tucked under fresh sheets.
i picked him up,
cradled him on my lap,
and rubbed his head.
“eric, you aren’t scared, are you? don’t be
scared. Jesus is going to sit right here by your
bedside all night,
just taking care of you, eric,
i love you… be brave for me.”
i prayed with eric and tucked him back under, and
walked out wondering if i’d ever see him again.
i did.
he came through.
he now scoots around on a shiny red tricycle.
i worry about eric. he lives in south boston.
and racial prejudice is exploding and killing
everywhere. i hope my love for him makes a
difference.
i hope it teaches him that people belong
together.
all kinds.
in hawaii all the manger scenes at Christmas
picture a dark-skinned Christ child.
love sees no differences.
Jesus, make my heart wide.
so wide that differences don’t matter.
just beating hearts and minds.
a professor was lecturing to a class of law students.
during his lecture a woman walked in
and around the room
and then out.
the teacher continued talking without making
reference to the woman.
at the end of the class, he asked the students to
write their impressions of that woman: how she
looked and walked and anything
they could remember. all sixteen students
perceived her differently.
i have been raised
in the evangelical world. three of
my great uncles, my grandfather, my father, and
two of my uncles are ministers.
i was fed and clothed and loved by the church.
it is a tremendous heritage.
if there is one thing, though, that confuses and
distorts my evangelical doctrine of love,
it is legalism.
it is the law that dictates for everyone, anywhere,
the absolutes of his/her relationship to
Jesus Christ.
a student at a Christian college
was about to graduate. extremely bright
and filled with potential, he fought one major
crisis. all his life, he had been raised in the church.
for years he had watched people “get saved.”
he heard them testify the same way. they usually
cried a lot, felt brand-new
