characteristics and behaviors make it seem that they can’t be trusted to do their part with eating. They can. With some children more than others, sticking to the division of responsibility demands steady nerves and a leap of faith. Here is help:
My toddler is a joy to feed
As a dietitian, I have studied Ellyn Satter’s books and watched the Feeding with Love and Good Sense Videos as well so that I can counsel parents. But only since I have had a child of my own have I fully realized the importance of the division of responsibility. My husband and I look forward to mealtime with our busy toddler. My son runs eagerly to the table when we call him and we all enjoy eating together. It is so much fun to watch him eat! We let him to eat whatever he wants in the meal and do not coax him to eat anything else. Our friends are amazed at how well he eats in general and how pleasant he is at the table. I am so thankful for the joy and relaxation we are able to experience at our family meals and I know it is due to the fact that we are following Ellyn Satter’s philosophy—we do our jobs and we let him do his.
2. Follow the division of responsibility
The best way to feed your child—no matter her age—is to follow the division of responsibility. As a parent, you provide structure, support, and opportunities to learn. Your child chooses how much and whether to eat from what you provide. The division of responsibility in feeding encourages you to take leadership with feeding and give your child autonomy with eating.
Trust your child to grow in the best way
Your child has a natural way of growing that is right for her. Her natural growth is in balance with her eating and moving. Maintain the division of responsibility in feeding and in activity. Trust her to do her part with eating, moving, and growing.
Your child’s body shape and size are mostly inherited. The amounts she needs to eat are also inherited, and support her growing and moving in her own unique way. Her height and weight are normal for her as long as she grows consistently, even if her growth plots at the extreme upper or lower ends of the growth charts. Don’t let anyone make an issue of your child’s size, shape or weight, and beware of hidden messages. Children who are encouraged to eat or move in a certain way to be “healthy” get the idea that there is something wrong with their body, and they feel flawed in every way: not smart, not physically capable, and not worthy.
You won’t know how your child’s body will turn out until she is toward the end of her teen years. Trying to control or change it will likely create the very outcome you are trying to avoid! As long as you keep your nerve and maintain the division of responsibility with feeding and with activity, her growth may surprise you. The fat baby is likely to slim down. The small, ill, or growth-delayed child is likely to continue to do catch-up growth well into her teen years and has a good chance of being bigger than you may expect.
If your child’s weight or height abruptly shifts up or down on her growth chart, it can mean there is a problem. Consult a health professional who understands the feeding relationship to rule out feeding, health, or parenting problems.
Follow the division of responsibility in activity
As with feeding, do your jobs and let your children do theirs. You don’t have to make your child be active. Children are born loving their bodies. They are curious about their physical capabilities and inclined to be active in a way that is right for them. Each child is naturally more or less skilled, graceful, energetic, or aggressive. Good parenting with activity preserves those qualities and lets your child be all she can be.
The division of responsibility in activity
Do your jobs
