know, the meditation … I mean how is it working with the rest of your life?’
Ah sat there, wi a fork fulla food haufway between ma mooth and the plate.
‘Well, you know, ah just dae the meditation. A lot of the time ah’m in the dark aboot how it affects anythin really. It just seems tae make other folk mad at me ah think.’
‘Your wife and family don’t approve?’
‘Anne Marie’s quite interested in it – she wants tae know whit it’s aboot. John thinks ah’m aff ma heid but he’s ma brother so he’s always thought that anyway. And Liz … aye, ah think Liz doesnae really approve.’
‘Doe she not approve of Buddhism or is it because she feels you’re changing?’
‘You know, Barbara, ah don’t really know whit she thinks.’
* * *
All the way alang the motorway it was beautiful. Even in the daurk you could feel the cleanness of the night, then, just ootside Glesga a smirr of rain started and ah pit on the windscreen wipers. Rain, hame. Ah sterted tae smile tae masel. Rain, hame. The lights on the other side of the motorway were blurrin in the drizzle. Thon big metal horse loomin up at the side. Then the gasworks, painted blue – ‘Glasgow for it’. Ah wanted tae laugh. Glasgow for it. That’s the gemm. Embra’s lovely, a great place for a day oot or a wee break but Glesga’s hame.
Ah arrived back at the hoose tae find oor John staundin at the close door.
‘Just round tae see if you wanted tae go oot for a pint wi the birthday boy.’
‘It’s no your birthday tae the morra.’
‘Aye, but a man’s only forty the wanst – ah’m gonnae make the maisty it. Ah was supposed tae be gaun oot for a meal wi Tricia the night but she’s no feelin brilliant.’
‘Whit’s up?’
‘Nothin really, she’s just had the cold, but she thought she’d rather save hersel for the party the morra.’
We went in the hoose. Anne Marie was in the livin room playin wi her playstation.
‘Hiya, Da. Hiya, Uncle John.’
‘Hi, hen. Is yer mammy in?’
‘Aye, she’s in the bedroom – workin oot whit tae wear for the party the morra night.’
Liz came in tae the livin room.
‘Hi, John. How are you?’
‘Ah’m fine. Just here tae get your man oot for a pint – is he’s allowed oot the night?’
‘Oh, you know Jimmy, does his ain thing.’
She sat doon on the airm of the couch.
‘Job all finished noo, Jimmy?’
‘Aye, all done – got the cash in ma pocket.’ Ah patted ma jaicket pocket.
‘Gie you cash, did she? Ah had her doon as wanny the cheque brigade.’
‘Aye, me too, but she just haunded me a wad a notes.’
‘Must of been pleased wi the job.’
‘Nae wonder, the hours it’s taken him. He’s no been hame tae nine a’clock at night this week. Ah hope it was worth it.’ There was an edge tae her voice.
John looked at me, wi a big brother kind of look.
‘It was a big job, right enough,’ he says. ‘Thon cornice – she wanted it painted three different colours and a bit a gold leaf at the corners and all. And she looked like the pernickety kind. Wouldnae fancy gaun hame tae her wi an empty pay packet. Raither strip woodchip. Right, son, are we on for this pint?’
‘Awright. Just a couple, mind. Ah’m knackered and ah want tae enjoy masel the morra.’
‘Want sumpn tae eat afore you go oot, Jimmy?’
‘Naw, thanks hen, ah’ve had sumpn.’
‘Barbara make yer tea again?’
‘Aye.’
‘Must of been really pleased wi the work efter aw.’
‘Well, this boy is the David Beckham of the gold leaf. And ah promise ah’ll no keep him oot late, Liz. We’ll see you the morra night, eh?’
‘Aye, John. See yous.’
‘Night, Anne Marie. Liz, ah’ll see you later.’ Ah went tae kiss her and she turned her cheek tae me but didnae kiss me back.
As soon as we were oot the hoose John says. ‘Jimmy, am ah mistaken or are things a bit chilly between yous two?’
‘How d’you mean?’
‘Well, Liz seems tae think that there’s sumpn gaun on between you and thon Barbara wumman.’
‘You know that’s shite, John.’
‘Ah know that’s shite but it’s what Liz thinks that’s the point.’
Ah didnae reply.
‘Is there sumpn you want tae tell your big brother aboot?’
‘Look, ah swear tae God, John, there is nothin gaun on between me and Barbara.’
‘What aboot you stayin late and her makin yer dinner? Whit’s that all aboot.’
‘Christ, ah thought ah was daein the right thing. If ah hadnae stayed late the job would of taken up haufy next week when we’re supposed tae be startin on Macintosh’s. And it made sense tae work through the rush hour and then come hame when the traffic’s quieter. The wumman offered tae make me ma dinner – she was just bein decent. Ah mean look at that auld dolly up Kelvindale last spring – the wan that was bringin us rolls and sausage at lunchtime and home-made scones. Ah didnae see you refusin it.’
‘Aye but she was aboot ninety-three, Jimmy. Ah cannae see even Boabby tryin tae get his end away wi her.’
‘But ah don’t fancy Barbara. I like her but that’s it. Ah mean, you’ve seen her John, she’s no … ah mean she just isnae the sorta wumman you would fancy. Ah mean she’s OK ah suppose but she’s just too … Embra.’
‘So are you sayin you couldnae ever fancy anybody fae Embra? Ah know whit you mean. Actually ah think she’s a dyke.’
‘Really?’
‘Ah don’t know, mibbe… who cares? Anyway the point is, Liz hasnae met her. For all she knows Barbara could be this gorgeous sexy wumman wi her eye on you and yous could of been up tae all sorts wi a six-incher and a sheepskin roller. Look at it fae her point of view – you’re comin hame at nine a’clock at night efter spendin a whole day alone wi this wumman. Suppose she was workin late every night wi some
