our way through the darkness by flashlight. The tree branches that had shaded us just hours earlier, along the same path, now looked like arms sprouting menacing hands. The stars sprinkled the sky like spilled salt. They seemed fastened to the darkness, high up and holy, their places fixed and definite as we stirred beneath them.
Some, like me, were quiet because we were afraid of the dark; others were talking like crazy for the same reason.
“Wow!” Drema said, looking up. “Why are all the stars out here? I never see stars back on Oneida Street.”
“It’s a camping trip, that’s why,” Octavia said. “You’re supposed to see stars on camping trips.”
Janice said, “This place smells like my mother’s air freshener.”
“These woods are pine,” Elise said. “Your mother probably uses pine air freshener.”
Janice mouthed an exaggerated “Oh,” nodding her head as though she just then understood one of the world’s great secrets.
No one talked about fighting. Everyone was afraid enough just walking through the infinite deep of the woods. Even though I didn’t fight to fight, was afraid of fighting, I felt I was part of the rest of the troop; like I was defending something. We trudged against the slight incline of the path, Arnetta leading the way.
“You know,” I said, “their leader will be there. Or they won’t even be there. It’s dark already. Last night the sun was still in the sky. I’m sure they’re already finished.”
Arnetta acted as if she hadn’t heard me. I followed her gaze with my flashlight, and that’s when I saw the squares of light in the darkness. The bathroom was just ahead.
BUT THE girls were there. We could hear them before we could see them.
“Octavia and I will go in first so they’ll think there’s just two of us, then wait till I say, ‘We’re gonna teach you a lesson,’” Arnetta said. “Then, bust in. That’ll surprise them.”
“That’s what I was supposed to say,” Janice said.
Arnetta went inside, Octavia next to her. Janice followed, and the rest of us waited outside.
They were in there for what seemed like whole minutes, but something was wrong. Arnetta hadn’t given the signal yet. I was with the girls outside when I heard one of the Troop 909 girls say, “NO. That did NOT happen!”
That was to be expected, that they’d deny the whole thing. What I hadn’t expected was the voice in which the denial was said. The girl sounded as though her tongue were caught in her mouth. “That’s a BAD word!” the girl continued. “We don’t say BAD words!”
“Let’s go in,” Elise said.
“No,” Drema said, “I don’t want to. What if we get beat up?”
“Snot?” Elise turned to me, her flashlight blinding. It was the first time anyone had asked my opinion, though I knew they were just asking because they were afraid.
“I say we go inside, just to see what’s going on.”
“But Arnetta didn’t give us the signal,” Drema said. “She’s supposed to say, ‘We’re gonna teach you a lesson,’ and I didn’t hear her say it.”
“C’mon,” I said. “Let’s just go in.”
We went inside. There we found the white girls—about five girls huddled up next to one big girl. I instantly knew she was the owner of the voice we’d heard. Arnetta and Octavia inched toward us as soon as we entered.
“Where’s Janice?” Elise asked, then we heard a flush. “Oh.”
“I think,” Octavia said, whispering to Elise, “they’re retarded.”
“We ARE NOT retarded!” the big girl said, though it was obvious that she was. That they all were. The girls around her began to whimper.
“They’re just pretending,” Arnetta said, trying to convince herself. “I know they are.”
Octavia turned to Arnetta. “Arnetta. Let’s just leave.”
Janice came out of a stall, happy and relieved, then she suddenly remembered her line, pointed to the big girl, and said, “We’re gonna teach you a lesson.”
“Shut up, Janice,” Octavia said, but her heart was not in it. Arnetta’s face was set in a lost, deep scowl. Octavia turned to the big girl and said loudly, slowly, as if they were all deaf, “We’re going to leave. It was nice meeting you, O.K.? You don’t have to tell anyone that we were here. O.K.?”
“Why not?” said the big girl, like a taunt. When she spoke, her lips did not meet, her mouth did not close. Her tongue grazed the roof of her mouth, like a little pink fish. “You’ll get in trouble. I know. I know.”
Arnetta got back her old cunning. “If you said anything, then you’d be a tattletale.”
The girl looked sad for a moment, then perked up quickly. A flash of genius crossed her face. “I like tattletale.”
“IT’S ALL right, girls. It’s gonna be all right!” the 909 troop leader said. All of Troop 909 burst into tears. It was as though someone had instructed them all to cry at once. The troop leader had girls under her arm, and all the rest of the girls crowded about her. It reminded me of a hog I’d seen on a field trip, where all the little hogs gathered about the mother at feeding time, latching onto her teats. The 909 troop leader had come into the bathroom, shortly after the big girl had threatened to tell. Then the ranger came, then, once the ranger had radioed the station, Mrs. Margolin arrived with Daphne in tow.
The ranger had left the restroom area, but everyone else was huddled just outside, swatting mosquitoes.
“Oh. They will apologize,” Mrs. Margolin said to the 909 troop leader, but she said this so angrily, I knew she was speaking more to us than to the other troop leader. “When their parents find out, every one a them will be on punishment.”
“It’s all right, it’s all right,” the 909 troop leader reassured Mrs. Margolin. Her voice lilted in the same way it had when addressing the girls. She smiled the whole time she talked. She was like one of those TV-cooking-show women who talk and dice onions and smile all at the same time.
“See. It could have happened. I’m not calling your girls fibbers or anything.” She shook her head ferociously from side to side, her Egyptian-style pageboy flapping against her cheeks like heavy drapes. “It could have happened. See. Our girls are not retarded. They are delayed learners.” She said this in a syrupy instructional voice, as though our troop might be delayed learners as well. “We’re from the Decatur Children’s Academy. Many of them just have special needs.”
“Now we won’t be able to walk to the bathroom by ourselves!” the big girl said.
“Yes you will,” the troop leader said, “but maybe we’ll wait till we get back to Decatur—”
“I don’t want to wait!” the girl said. “I want my Independence badge!”
The
