will have to overcome. And often they’ll find that the list of potential obstacles could quite easily go on forever.
So what prevents negotiators – even very experienced ones – from achieving their goals? Inflexibility, unwillingness to compromise, personal ambitions . . . yes, that list could also go on for a while.
In my workshops, I am often asked similar questions. When I answer, I always give thought to the specific circumstances at hand. However, over the years I have come to realise that it would make sense to provide some more general answers, too. This is how the idea for this book was born, although it should be said, it isn’t only about providing answers. With this book, I wanted to create a teaching aid to guide you through one of the most complex disciplines of any business course – a negotiation manual, if you like. In it, I have included exercises that will not only help you to discover a variety of effective negotiation methods, but, more importantly, to put them into practice straight away. This book will become your very own negotiation tool, a personal arsenal of ‘combat’ techniques.
When I say ‘you’, I mainly have in mind those who have already discovered negotiation as both a science and a true art. This book will be of use to anyone who wants to prepare for negotiations in advance, considering all of the possible steps and alternative scenarios that might arise. These are no empty words: in my own studies – which include time spent at the Camp Negotiation Institute in the USA – I have always tried to put the most valuable lessons into practice. Every thought set down on these pages has passed through my own personal prism of perception, experience and awareness. Barring the odd historical or diplomatic reference, all of the examples in this book come from my own experience. The recommendations and advice have been honed over time, and their advantages thoroughly analysed. So who has been doing this analysis, and when?
Well, reader, at the risk of sounding arrogant, the answer is: me. A man with over seventeen years’ experience in sales and purchasing. A man who has spent almost half of his sixteen-hour working day leading tough – often at first glance hopeless – business negotiations.
Let me establish one point up front: despite the book’s title, these negotiation techniques in no way encourage rudeness or excessive pressure. Quite the opposite, as it happens.
Modern life often pits us against a wide range of characters – from ‘yobs’ to ‘louts’, ‘ball-breakers’ to ‘princes’ – with whom, like it or not, we still have to do business. These people’s negotiating styles can, if not completely discourage and confuse, make it hard for us to get the results we need.
In this book, I will also present to you the special techniques for tough negotiations employed, among others, by the Russian secret services. Here, you will learn some basic strategies that will allow you to put yourself in the driving seat and maintain command in complex negotiations. In addition, you will also get the chance to perfect and put into practice skills that will help you to steer tough negotiations. These skills must be honed, so this book comes complete with extensive exercises. Negotiation is, first and foremost, about practice. Good luck!
LOOK OUT FOR THESE SYMBOLS:
 | important information / key points |
 | examples and situations |
 | definitions and rules |
 | conclusions |
 | anecdotes |
 | stratagems |
 | examples from history and diplomacy |
 | questions for the reader |
 | exercises |
INTRODUCTION
I am sure we all have a clear memory of the things we enjoyed doing when we were little kids; as we grew up; when we got our first student cards . . . Well, when I was a student I, like many of my friends and classmates, took up karate. It was an exciting sport with a certain prestige, and besides, damnit, I was a man! You can probably picture how our training sessions looked: a giant sports hall, a coach teaching kids specific moves, skills and techniques. Of course, there was one golden rule: no fighting in the streets. We’d spar, of course, but within the sports hall contact was always limited – it was something dangerous, forbidden. Even so, we could (and generally did) consider ourselves successful fighters: after all, we took part in meets and workshops, went to sports camps, learned and perfected new moves, showed off our skills at various competitions – which we won, of course, earning ourselves belt after belt. So we were justified in thinking we were serious fighters. We had complete confidence in our skills and in ourselves. However, one very banal event put us all back in our place.
Late one night, me and the guys were on our way home from practice. Three kids that looked like bad news came up to us and asked us for ‘a smoke’. Now, in that sort of situation, a request for ‘a smoke’ never feels completely harmless; it was fairly reasonable for us to expect it to be followed up with some trick straight out of the playbook. But hey, we did karate, we weren’t about to let them scare us! So what did we do? You guessed it. Without the slightest doubt in our own professionalism, we immediately decided to fight. Of course we did: we were sportsmen, we had mastered a true martial art – we definitely had the upper hand. On paper, that is. But.
Yes, there was a ‘but’. And it turned out to be pretty decisive. You can probably guess that our calculations came up short. We got whipped. Pummelled, even. I’ll be honest, it was a big knock, both physically and emotionally. Those street thugs turned out to be way faster and stronger than us. And although they had nothing on us when it came to our training in specialist combat techniques, we didn’t even get a look-in.
Turns out, a street thug is stronger than any sportsman trained in a sports hall. Why? Well, while a sportsman may have specific skills and training, they’ll be lacking experience of hand-to-hand contact. The real fighter to be reckoned with is the one who not only has a perfect mastery of technique, but who also knows the tricks used on the street.
Reader, take note: never underestimate street tricks. Theory may tell us they shouldn’t work, but, more often than not, in practice they do – and how! We were just kids, still so inexperienced. We underestimated the strength of the street.
Where am I going with these reminiscences, you may ask? Surely I’m not suggesting that, instead of their fists, these poor karate kids should have solved the problem with some skilled negotiations? That is what this book’s about, right?
Yes, this book is about negotiation. But it’s mainly about how you negotiate. When entering into negotiations, you are essentially engaging in combat. Of course you need to know what theory suggests is the right course of action. But you also need to know how to hold your own against the ‘street fighters’ who won’t play by the same rules.
The book you hold in your hands brings together a number of scholarly approaches employed in negotiations today. But it also contains a wealth of life experience, amassed over years of leading negotiations – in business as well as in life, with public authorities and the business community alike.
