target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="#fb3_img_img_8967ea9d-41e9-5992-8d8a-49b5568231a2.jpg" alt="image"/>If you are indeed having an existential crisis, see this handsome picture book, inspired by a short story by Leo Tolstoy. Featuring a giant panda delivering Zen-inspired wisdom, it’s as potentially life-changing for a grown-up as for a child.
SEE ALSO: death, fear of • god, wondering if there is a
abuse
It won’t always be apparent that children exposed to abuse in the home – be it physical or emotional – are struggling. Children develop all sorts of coping mechanisms to help hide their shame or make themselves feel safe. Professional help should always be sought where abuse is suspected, but sharing a book that reflects what may be going on1 might give a child who has suffered abuse some relief – and even begin to open the door to a conversation. Knowing that someone cares, and can be trusted to listen and give support, is crucial – and books are a way to create a safe and patient space.
On the surface, A Family That Fights is about an ordinary sort of family – one that ‘goes to movies, bakes cookies, plays games and builds snowmen’. But this one also includes a father that ‘fights with his hands’. The range of things that can and do happen in this family are explored in careful detail: the mother becomes nervous when the father is due to come home; the child feels angry with the mother for pretending everything’s fine. The black and white pencil drawings capture pent-up emotional states with great sensitivity.
For verbal abuse, go to The Words Hurt, in which an angry father – a victim of abuse himself – unleashes regular torrents of criticism on his son, Greg. At night, Greg lies in bed wondering if other kids’ dads get so furious when they’re late for school, and whether cleaning your room is every family’s ‘VERY SERIOUS rule’. There’s always just enough truth in what his dad is saying that Greg’s left wondering if perhaps he deserves the yelling. It’s only when his best friend Joe and Joe’s parents witness one of the outbursts – the tell-tale blush burning on the father’s cheeks as he rapidly loses control – that Greg finally finds an ally. That the father immediately acknowledges what a bully he’s become and admits to needing help is rather too good to be true; but the fact that this family faces the abuse together, with the love between father and son soon flowing back in, provides a positive, hopeful model. In cases of abuse, children need assurance that asking for help won’t just make things worse.
The possibility that a grown-up close to the child may know of the abuse but turn a blind eye is explored in the gut-punching Learning to Scream. Since the age of seven, Malvina has visited her grandparents every Friday and taken a bath with Granddad. Underneath the bubbles, Granddad touches ‘his little Malvina’ and makes her touch him too – while Gran waits outside with a towel, complicit. Now thirteen, Malvina has developed the habit of disappearing inside her head during these bath times, deciding that ‘he can do whatever he wants as long as he doesn’t touch my thoughts’. She tries to tell her father and her brother about what’s happening, but can’t seem to get the words out. ‘He kisses me,’ is all she manages to say, and they call her ‘little miss don’t-touch-me’, as if she’s simply prudish. To compound matters, her grandmother’s dying words to Malvina are a request to keep her mouth shut. ‘Granddad can’t help it,’ the old lady says. ‘Promise me you won’t leave [him] in the lurch.’
It’s when she meets a boy her own age and starts wanting a normal, healthy relationship that Malvina comes to understand exactly how wrong what’s been going on has been. She wonders what her new friend Screwy would think of her if he knew the truth, and practises whispering to him: ‘You’ve got to help me.’ In the end it’s her grandparents’ neighbour, Mrs Bitschek, who realises that Malvina has something to say – though she has to kick her under the table to make her say it. As this story makes chillingly clear, sometimes even close family can stand between an abused child and the help they so badly need.
At the heart of The Perks of Being a Wallflower lies the revelation that sometimes abuse can take years to come to light. Fifteen-year-old Charlie is the sort of boy who would rather observe from the sidelines than take an active part. A wannabe writer who suffers from bouts of depression, he’s nervous of starting high school – and when we find out that his best friend committed suicide at the end of the previous school year, it seems explanation enough for his mental state. But then he meets Sam, a girl he likes, and during their first kiss he’s assaulted by disturbing flashbacks. At first he ignores them; but they come back even more strongly. The discovery of the trauma in his past is shocking to all parties, including the reader; but Chbosky handles it delicately, with Charlie shown to be in control of how much is revealed. Teens will see that, with the trauma now uncovered, Charlie’s recovery has begun.
SEE ALSO: bullied, being • bully, being a • heard, not feeling • foster care, being in • trauma • violence
academic, not very
SEE: good at anything, feeling like you’re no
acne
Though in fact caused by a virus, the popular misconception that acne is a result of lack of cleanliness only adds to the misery it inflicts. Until recently, it featured in fiction only to express an inner ugliness. Thankfully, Juno Dawson has now brought us a heroine who we love – and who overcomes its stigma.
Sixteen-year-old Avery is known as ‘Pizzaface’ at school. Her previous best friend, Lucy, dumped her to be with the ‘A-list’ – the girls who sit smugly within their bubbles, perfecting their hair, skin and nails. Her best friend now is Lois, who, with her button nose and Taylor Swift bob, might have made the A-list too, but for her one tiny arm. She is known as ‘T-rex’.
Then Avery is given a new drug that clears up her acne completely. Suddenly everyone can see her for the beauty she is. Swiftly courted by the A-list, she abandons Lois, acquires a boyfriend, Seth, and – feeling unstoppable – decides to run for head girl. But just as the battle for the position of head girl is about to reach its climax, Avery is told to stop taking the anti-acne drug: it has severe side-effects that are only now being understood. She makes her election speech with a paper bag over her head – ‘Imperfect, but content’ in her skin – standing not for her looks but for who she is and what she believes in. We never know which way the vote goes – and for kids reading this story it doesn’t matter. The empowering point has been made.
SEE ALSO: adolescence • confidence, lack of • zits
ADHD
