knew the state he was in. He rested back from her, on his elbows. His breathing was harsh and he needed to calm down; he was sick of this, it was like a stupid game. How stupid could it get? The duvet was mainly on her side so he could let his right leg lie outside; help the calming-down process. But this was ridiculous. He felt like saying it to her I mean for fuck sake what age are we at all it’s not like we’re bloody eighteen years of age! Christ almighty!
Yet maybe she didnt know. Maybe she lacked experience. She had been married to the one guy for years and from what Andy could gather he was not the most physical of chaps.
What did that mean? Did he not like sex? Did he not notice sex? Was he – what? What on earth did that mean? Not the most physical of chaps? But it wasnt her said that it was him, he thought the words, picking up from her. He had just picked up that her husband wasnt really bothered.
Even how she smiled, there was an uncertainty about her. So apart from him, her ex-husband, apart from him, what males did she know? Some women just married guys that asked them. Maybe she was one. So she didnt really know other guys. She didnt realise they wanted bloody sex all the time jesus christ not all the time but just like these times when they were geared up for it and just like my god lying in bed with a woman ye had just met and was damn beautiful and sexy for christ sake.
Oh god. He really needed to calm down. I’m sorry, he said, I’m just tired.
When d’ye start work?
The back of eight.
I dont work Saturdays, she said.
Lucky you.
She said nothing. Then she yawned.
Want a coffee? he asked.
She looked at him as if he was daft.
Or tea?
Do you have any hot chocolate?
Hot chocolate. He laughed.
What’s so funny?
Nothing. He grinned. Are ye serious but?
What do ye mean?
Hot chocolate? Ye think I would have hot chocolate?
Pardon?
I did used to have some.
It doesnt matter, she said.
I’ve got peppermint tea and like eh green tea.
Fiona smiled. Your friends go on nonstop, she said, everybody talking and talking and talking. I thought they would never be quiet. That what-dye-call-him? Him with the ponytail.
Tony.
He plays in a band?
He does, aye . . .
She was looking to hear more but he could not be bothered. Tony was Tony and not really a friend. Well he was a friend, he wasnt a pal. Pals are friends but friends might not be pals.
Andy, she said.
Yeah?
She didnt answer.
What? he said.
Nothing.
So if it was nothing why mention the guy? Tony in some ways was a shit but fair enough; who cares, who cares. She didnt know that. But he was a shit. Especially with women he was a shit, just like women didnt seem to know until it was too bloody late, the guy was just a fucking – whatever, not a friend, well he was a friend, just not a pal. Who cares anyway. Andy was tired. She surely appreciated that. He had stretched out on his back again. What the hell time was it? Maybe there would be no sleep either. He closed his eyes. Maybe he could doze.
She was talking again. He was awful high though wasnt he? Ye would’ve thought he was on something. He acted like he was.
Andy closed his eyes.
You were high as well, she said.
Pardon?
Ye seemed to be.
I’m no sure what ye mean by ‘high’?
Do you play in a band? You yourself, do you play in a band?
No.
You’ve got that guitar.
Aye well I’ve got a fishing rod too. Actually I’ve got two fishing rods. What I mean by that, I dont do any fishing.
She shifted onto her back now and seemed fully awake. He wondered whether to switch on the light. She was gazing at him. Why not? she asked.
He looked at her.
If ye’ve got two fishing rods?
I only mean I’ve got two fishing rods and dont go fishing and it’s the same with guitars. I’ve actually got three of the buggers, if ye go in the other room. Plus a keyboard plus a fiddle. I sold my sax.
God . . .
Only kidding. What I mean is because I’ve got something doesnay mean I am something. I’ve got guitars but I dont – whatever, I’m not in a band. So to answer yer question: no, I dont play in a band.
Ye dont have to be nasty.
Nasty? I’m not being nasty.
I only asked a question.
I know ye did, sorry.
I thought ye played in a band because of how the blonde woman asked if ye would play when she sang.
Andy stared at her.
I know she asked ye and ye wouldnt, however ye said it, I saw ye shaking yer head. And then she asked him with the ponytail, the old guy.
He wouldnt like ye calling him ‘old’.
Well he is. When you wouldnt play she asked him. It would’ve been nice if ye had played.
Andy nodded.
I thought ye were going to. I’ve seen her in there before, the blonde woman. I would like to have heard ye. I thought ye would have and ye didnt. It would’ve been nice. Why didnt ye?
The thing is she was wanting to sing and it didnay matter who played. Well it did, but only in a wee way. She doesnay really care. It’s her thing and that’s that, whether it was me or somebody else. Anyway, I didnay have my guitar.
He offered ye his. Him with the ponytail. I saw him offering.
Andy sighed.
I saw him.
Yeah well.
Dont be so jaggy.
I’m
