want to caution me, what have I done?'
'Believe it or not, this lad is denying everything, and claiming you assaulted him.' he raised a placatory hand as the couple started to protest, 'Yes, I know it's nonsense, and will probably never get near court, but it's not for me to decide.'
'You are kidding me! No way, he's lying through his teeth!'
'Just the same, Mr Ward, until the full facts are established, we have to follow procedure.'
Magnanimously, they decided it would not be in the public interest to take any action against Mrs Ward for launching a pair of fluffy slippers at the patrol car as they drove away.
Chapter 2
It would probably be fair to say that James Wellington, Member of Parliament, was unlikely to ever regard this evening as one of the high spots of his political career. He surveyed the venue with a jaundiced eye, taking in the public hall of a drab, grey civic centre, built back in the days when a weather stained concrete block was considered the very pinnacle of architectural design.
A thing of beauty, to be admired for generations to come.
Not.
Tonight it hosted a community forum where members of the public could voice their concerns about local issues to Wellington, Council Chairman Raymond Eades, Superintendent Alex Campbell and community police officer, P.C. Amrita Bachchan.
With government cutbacks affecting so many local jobs and services, Wellington was finding himself to be the whipping boy this evening, berated for every unpopular decision the government had made recently.
In an attempt to shift the focus to more popular initiatives, he made much of the plans to come down hard on the dole cheats and others abusing the benefits system in order to free up funds for the genuinely needy in the area, but even this was not received with the enthusiasm he was accustomed to from the party faithful.
His mood took a further nosedive when he saw the next speaker get to his feet.
Keith Boswell was his arch-rival. Both men had trained as lawyers before entering the political arena, though Wellington's firm had always pursued a considerably more affluent client base than Boswell, who took pride in the fact that he was more likely to represent those receiving legal aid.
The latter had previously held the position of local MP currently occupied by Wellington, and his narrow defeat following a recount clearly still rankled, adding to the antipathy between the pair.
But Wellington didn't just dislike Boswell because of his political views, or the fact that he was younger, taller and better looking, (Wellington had been known to sneer that Boswell was caught in a love triangle between himself, a television camera and a sun bed).
And it wasn't that he was infuriated by the fact that Boswell revelled in his self-proclaimed status as “The people's champion”, “Fighting on behalf of the poor and the weak and the discriminated against”.
Whether they wanted him to or not.
No, it was the fact that Boswell seemed to have a particular issue with Wellington, and never, ever missed an opportunity to have a personal dig at him, taking great delight in portraying him as the very epitome of capitalist greed and selfishness that made his blood boil.
'Here we go again, another Marxist rant about the poor and oppressed' he muttered to Superintendent Campbell, who was sitting on his left.
Tall and cadaverous, and with a polished dome, the Superintendent's oversized ears had inevitably led to the nickname of Wingnut amongst his men. He gave no sign whatsoever that he had even heard the remark.
As much a bloody politician as any of us, thought Wellington sourly, as Boswell began to address the meeting.
'I think we can understand James Wellington's obsession with criminalising these single mothers who failed to disclose a couple of hours working in a shop or pub to buy a few Christmas presents for her kids.'
'Or the widow letting out a room on the quiet to try to eke out her pension so that she can eat, and heat the house.'
'After all, these leeches, these...... vile parasites, are costing the country, what is it again?........ about a billion pounds a year!'
'Of course we should be throwing the book at these scavengers,' he continued, allowing more than a hint of sarcasm to creep into his tone, ' They're just a bunch of damned thieves!'
'Oh yes, I think we can imagine James' supporters in the leafy suburbs, husband and wife sitting in their designer kitchen, reading the morning paper, and being totally indignant when they read about some guy on disability allowance who 'forgot' to mention that he was fit to go back to work again.'
'A damned disgrace', they'll say, (mimicking a posh accent) 'As taxpayers,that's our money he's stealing!'
A baleful glance up at Wellington on the platform.
'They conveniently forget, of course, that since he started his small company, his wife has been paid a healthy salary as a 'secretary' while barely working a handful of days a year, her car is paid for by the company, the main shopping is done at the cash & carry, paid by the company credit card, they put a computer on a desk in the spare room so they can call it an office and claim household bills as business expenses.......'
Wellington was trying to protest that all that was irrelevant to the purpose of tonight's meeting, but Boswell was not for stopping.
'...... sticking as much of the pre-tax profits into their personal pension schemes as they can get away with, while of course, the two weeks in the Caribbean is claimed as a 'business trip', taking friends to the rugby, or a spa hotel is claimed as 'corporate entertaining', the horse box taking the kids to the gymkhana is claimed as a 'delivery truck' and the yacht goes through the books as a bulldozer or something like that!
It turns out that these pillars of society are, according to the Inland Revenue, costing the honest taxpayers amongst us tens of billions,' He paused for effect, 'Yes, that's tens of billions of pounds more in unpaid and “avoided” tax than the so-called scroungers at the bottom of the heap, and yet what does James Wellington intend to do about this “respectable” and “acceptable” form of theft?',
'Not a damned thing, because they are the people keeping him in his job, and the last thing they want is to change a system which blatantly favours the 'haves' over the 'have nots'!'
He sat down to a very satisfying round of applause while Wellington struggled to be heard as he tried to point out that guidelines regarding taxable expenses were currently being reviewed, and that entrepreneurs had to be encouraged and supported in order to promote growth and create employment. But Boswell was already back on his feet.
'I'm simply pointing out that a perfectly fair, valid and justifiable system has been so widely abused that many in the business community don't even believe that they are doing anything wrong.
It is fundamentally unfair that the pay of the ordinary man or woman on the street has been taxed before they see it, after which they pay household bills, and then they may try to run a car, and if they're lucky, there's may be something left over for a holiday. Most of these things will include secondary taxes, like VAT, fuel duty, etcetera.
