I don’t want to have to rush back to work after I give birth. I want to be able to nurture my babies. I thought brothers kissed those dumb girls feet, but I had no idea how deep this issue ran in our community.”
Wiping the tears from my eyes as I got closer to the school took care of my external appearance. Shaking my head and going over in my mind how selfish the man I married had become, I could not believe he would think about turning down a $70,000 a year job. I had taken advantage of every opportunity in my path for advancement.
“I am an assistant principal, not just for me...I did it because it would help us. He is still caught up on this damn music thing. It’s a dream, a long shot dream. He can’t even control his own destiny. I believed in him at one time, I think, but I don’t know anymore. He promised me so many things. I shouldn’t even be working right now. But, I am. So, if I must work and he has not shown me that he is serious about making it, I’m going to shoot for the top and take care of my damn self. Mary McLeod-Bethune and Marva Collins better move over because here I come.”
Turning into the faculty parking lot, I whipped into my assigned parking space. The sight of Kenya walking out of the building with a walkie talkie in her hand reminded me of an old Cleopatra Jones movie. Trying to gather myself I checked my face in the mirror, while chanting an affirmation. “I am worthy of what I want.”
“I am worthy of everything I want! I’ll get it myself. I don’t need a man for nothing. Chapman just doesn’t know; many men would stand on their heads just to have me hanging on their arm or in their life. Divorcing his ass is about the nicest thing I can think of doing to him and for him right now.” I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, hoping it would dry my tears and change me into what I wanted to be in an instant. I opened the door and stepped out of the car with a look of false togetherness and determination on my face.
Kenya recognized me from across the parking lot. She looked both ways before she crossed the driveway and walked towards me.
“What’s up Soror?” was Kenya’s typical greeting.
“You girl. It’s all about you.”
“Girl you look like you just walked off the runway at an Ebony Fashion Fair Fashion Show. I know you are being considered for one of the principal vacancies and all, but you making it hard for a sister to compete with you.”
“Stop the madness. Those are all lies and fairytales. Don’t jinx me Kenya. That’s the last thing I need right now.”
“What are you doing after school today anyway?”
“Why?”
“Can a sister get her long time friend to help her pick up some clothes? I want to have that look too.”
“And what look might that be?” Asked Terri, expecting a halfway meaningful answer. With her hand on her hip and her purse strap over her shoulder, Terri spoke firmly but friendly. “The look that every woman should want to know better.”
“Whatever! Girl, you know there’s a meeting after school for all the candidates for principal jobs.”
“Well, you can park your car at my house and I will drive you where you need to go.”
Continuing into the building, I touched hands with Kenya before we walked in two different directions to our individual offices. Stopping in her tracks, I saw Kenya watching me the entire time it took me to enter my office.
I know that I am a fly on the wall of Terri and Chapman’s life. But, right now, their love is my best chance to experience real love. My mind was racing to decipher what is up with my girl as she walked into her office. As I sat down behind my desk, Terri weighed heavily on my mind. I pressed the power button on my computer and the little green light flickered on. While the computer seemed to be straining to boot up, I reared back in my chair and noticed the intra-school system mail envelope filled with the information that Terri asked me to get for Chapman. Tapping out a tune on the envelope with my fingers, I could not stop thinking about how Terri was there for me when my grandmother died, and when I broke up with my fiancé who we found out was a drug dealer just months before my wedding was scheduled to happen. I didn’t want to react too strongly because I loved Terri and Chapman. “What could it be?” I loved Chapman because he was the big brother I always wanted. He always gave me good, clean advice and was the only husband of any of my so-called-girlfriends who didn’t try to hit on me when I was alone with him. Chapman has called me Ken from the time I told him my name. He almost got shot trying to stop Cuthbert “Snake Eyes” Hamilton, my almost husband from beating me up. I wanted to help my friends, but I didn’t want to choose a side.
“They are the ideal couple. God, I pray that Chapman isn’t trippin’ on her with some freak.”
Terri is the type of woman who is driven. She is definitely going to make a name for herself in the field of education. She is living her dream, and her star is rising fast. We still get into disagreements about her not having any children by now. I mean what else does she want? She has a husband who comes home every night, he doesn’t have an alcohol or drug problem, and still writes songs about her and sings her ass to sleep at night. I tell her he is a good man, but she just closes her mind when I start on my support the black man campaign. She always tells me, ‘Girl, you are like a fat personal trainer talking about a six pack. Always giving advice on something you have absolutely no intimate knowledge about. A husband, marriage, children and everything else that goes along with this…with this ring I thee wed stuff’.”
I have always admired the strength that Terri displayed when she hooked up with Chapman Sweet, a known PLAYAH, in our junior year in college. It took so much confidence to cut through the bullshit, and to stay focused on the relationship that at that time was obviously developing. I mean, girls used to say slick shit about Chapman in passing, but never ever directly to Terri’s face. ‘Cause, you know if they did, we would have had to round them up and beat that ass. Sweet Man, as some of the girls used to call him, was smitten from the word go. I was her cheerleader and undercover lookout throughout school. I dated brothers who seemed to be much less popular than Chapman, and for some strange reason, they all gave me nothing but trouble. Chapman knew I was watching him, but he was such a gentleman, he never let on that he knew. Well, he did confess that he knew what I was up to, the night he and Terri got married. I guess it boils down to the individual man. Terri was always suspicious of him. The guy I dated had nothing going on around him, but he was a product of his home environment. Unfocused. Sweet and I used to have some deep talks about relationships and life in general. I do admit to God, in my private times, that I did have somewhat of a crush on him, and I used to get mad at Terri for giving Chapman such a hard time. Now don’t get me wrong. Chapman wasn’t 100% angel by no stretch of the imagination. She used to catch him as he used to put it, “Working his public.” He was too damn friendly for the fragile self esteem of the average college girl. There are women who went to school with us who will swear that they had a thing going with Chapman while we were in school. Now Terri and I talked about this sensitive subject at great length. Some of the girls could have been telling the truth, and the others were just women she hated and did not want to believe the man of her future would ever lie with. To tell you the truth, the word I got was that he used to kill the ladies before he hooked up with Terri and probably even after he hooked up with Terri. They used to line up around the band’s practice field just to get a look at the good looking young men with the well developed legs in their cut-off jeans and army boots. The guys in the band were cool, but it was a crap shoot. Good looking, smooth talking, personality, talented, fine and so full of shit that when they opened their mouths, most of them had a brown streak on the back of their tongues.
Chapman was so appealing to the point where some women would have gladly taken the shit that Terri imagined was going
