personnel, away from her mother, stepfather, and young siblings. She was introduced to her small, dormitory-style room, with a narrow rectangle shape. Judith felt like she was stepping into a skinny shoebox. A single bed was situated parallel to the right wall of the room, with a small cabinet on the left side for her clothing. Everything looked stark. I don’t see anything here that looks like home. Judith knew in a moment that this place was nothing like the Ryther Child Center. No, no. Authority was thick in the air. A much bigger authority than the Ryther Child Center had. And the place was gigantic! Judith worried about getting lost in the endless hallways. She looked up and down, left and right, with her eyes; she was certain there were other eyes in all the walls and ceilings looking back at her. Man. There’s no way I can run away from here.
Judith retained only a few, crystallized memories of her eighteen-month stay. She retained a powerful memory of being viscerally afraid of the nurses. Early into her stay, she had formed the impression that the nurses were mean spirited toward her, even—astonishing as it was to Judith—accusing her of faking the seizures. Judith worked to avoid interaction with the nursing staff whenever possible. She had been firmly coached by the nurses to ring a special bell that was situated near her bed whenever she felt a seizure coming on so they could come in the room and observe Judith during seizure activity. But Judith wasn’t inclined to ring the bell: she dreaded the wrath of the nurses after a seizure. It was easier to just “go out” alone.
Judith got a great surprise in the hospital. She noticed and then recognized a young female patient as a classmate she had attended school with for a brief time back home. Oh, so there are other girls like me having problems. Maybe we can be friends! But the surprise quickly turned ugly. Judith noticed that the girl had only hostile energy toward her. One day, while working in the laundry room, a duty that the girls were expected to perform routinely, the ex-classmate switched some of the clean, folded laundry around, relocating the piles to incorrect bins. When the staff discovered the switch, Judith was squarely blamed for purposely placing clothing in the wrong patient bins, just to cause trouble. Judith was outraged. She angrily cast her protests of innocence up against faces of stone. She was told she must be punished for her disrespectful prank, and Judith was placed in “solitary,” a tiny room, approximately four feet by six feet, with only one little window, about he size of Judith’s face, that she could look out if she rose up as tall as possible on tip-toes. Solitary confinement went on for four agonizing days. Judith screamed hysterically at the guards through the door. It wasn’t fair! The other girl did it! Judith asked herself over and over, Why would anybody do this to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why would anybody do this to me…why would anybody do…why would anybody…why would…why…until she slipped into another seizure and then—nothing.
Many years later, Judith would connect her extreme claustrophobia to being locked up in solitary.
Some days in the mental hospital were pleasant for Judith. Every other weekend, her parents and little siblings made the drive over to visit her. At each visit they gave Judith five dollars so that she could make purchases in the hospital store if she needed something. As soon as the family left, Judith hustled over to the hospital store and spent all the money on Payday candy bars. She thought they were especially wonderful candy bars: Salty globs of peanuts and something chewy, pure heaven to Judith’s tastebuds.
When the family came for visits, Judith was allowed to stroll the grounds outside with them. Western State Hospital, with its original core brick building and multiple add-on buildings stood, side by side, like a row of tall people holding hands on acres of neatly trimmed grounds. In 1868, Fort Steilacoom officially closed and the site and building were given to the Washington Territory (Washington State had not yet been established). In 1871 Washington Territory used the facility for housing “lunatics.” In 1948 Washington State remodeled the building, making it a state-run insane asylum. Over subsequent years the building was expanded to become the present complex of multiple buildings and parking areas. Just adjacent to the hospital on the east end, original Fort Steilacoom officers’ quarters remain. The doors are open to tourists. Old cannons sit, rusting, along Cottage Row.
Judith and her family, on visiting weekends, sat on picnic tables scattered across the green lawns. It was as if the quiet calm and order of the park-like grounds on the outside of the facility offered balance to the illness and disharmony on the inside of the facility.
One day, Judith was going through the movements of a typical day as a patient at Western State Hospital when she suddenly froze, staring blankly down at her hands for a long while as a realization set in. Today is my eighteenth birthday. I guess I’m not like other teenagers. I’ve never been to a dance…I’ve never driven a car…I didn’t even get to graduate from high school. While Judith denies memory of it, her Western State Hospital medical record documented escapes or “unauthorized leaves”.
“July 8, 1961. Return from unauthorized leave. Returned from unauthorized leave by a state car this p.m. Having been apprehended in Vancouver, Washington, and detained in a Vancouver hospital since 7-6-61. Ran away from hospital auditorium, a high school girls gym class, because she was unhappy with staff criticism of her behavior (i.e., flirting with boys), claims hitchhiked for several miles then met a friend who took her to Greyhound Bus and bought ticket to Vancouver. Friend, Jack, claims he gave her five dollars (to buy eats) so she bought a new purse. In Vancouver, met a taxi driver who directed her to a State Patrol officer and he, in turn, to Vancouver General Hospital. She was there two days and today picked up and returned to WSH by hospital staff…abrasions on her legs and ankles…”
During hospitalization at Western State Hospital, nursing staff alleged that Judith was faking her seizures. Doctors decided to perform some tests.
“July 18, 1961. 5 days ago Dr. Barber and I decided to discontinue patient’s Phenobarbitol and Dilantin. Since that time she has had 6 or 7 grand mal seizures according to the nurse. She described l this morning as a generalized seizure lasting 3 minutes, manifested by a shaking movement of her arms and legs, turning of the head to the right, dilation of the pupils, which failed to react to light and confusion of a few minutes afterwards, followed by 10-20 minutes of sleep. There was no tongue biting or voiding at this time. This sounds like a pretty good description of a grand mal seizure and I think that we can state definitely that the patient has a seizure disorder as well as a strong tendency to feign seizures. Accordingly, at Dr. Parrott’s request, I have suggested that her Dilantin be resumed at the rate of Grs. 1 ½ t.i.d. I would expect a good control of her grand mal seiures on this medication…”
Judith escaped yet again. “October 25, 1961 unauthorized leave. October 26, 1961, returned from unauthorized leave.” She was clearly not happy in the mental hospital.
Another chart entry described Judith as “quite aggressive, active, and at times, mischievous in behavior. Must be told every day in order to get routine duties done…is constantly seeking attention by these spells and other attention getting devices…recommend close supervision…”
As the months ticked by, chart notes indicated signs of improvement in Judith. Finally, a chart note read, “November 24, 1961, it is felt that the program of group therapy and school activities is of help to patient. The length of time patient will need to profit from this to the degree which would make for essential changes is seen as several years. It appears unreasonable to have patient hospitalized for this length of time seeing the fact that the help needed could be provided by any out patient clinic and/or epileptic clinic…”
Then, miraculously, one day in December of 1962, at the age of eighteen, Judith was released from Western State Hospital, back into the care of her family. Doctors had her seizures under fairly good control now with two effective drugs: Dilantin and Phenobarbitol. Helen was instructed to make sure that her daughter take her medications four times daily without fail. Judith would hear her mother say hundreds of times for the next several years, “Judith, did you take your medicine? Remember, 8:00 am, 12:00 noon, 4:00 pm, and 8:00 pm; 2 capsules and l pill.” This reminder reverberated
