not die!
Of all the thousands of verses that might have caught my eye, that was the one that jumped off the page. My mind was renewed. My spirit was quickened and I knew that I knew. It would be okay. In an instant, the diagnosis came face to face with the truth of God’s Word. It was the beginning of a miracle.
It was written in an old song, “Trouble is Thy servant that brings me to Thee.” Down through the ages, God has used the troubles of life to draw mankind to Himself. It is human nature to seek the Lord more earnestly when trouble comes along. I began drawing upon the reservoir of my faith, knowing that no matter what transpired God would use it to His glory and my good. At the same time, I was curious to know what God would do this time...with cancer.
No one understands the necessity of preparation better than a farmer. My Granddad bought acreage in South Dakota in the early 1950’s. The virgin land had never seen a plow. Preparing the grassy prairie for planting required a lot of hard work. Huge rocks that prevented tilling were dragged alongside the perimeter of the field, and the gaping holes left were tediously leveled. When the ground was finally ready, he pulled the big tractor onto the field. The aroma of fresh dirt, turning and yielding to the plow, quickened his senses. Precious seeds were sown into the ready soil. God sent the life-giving rain and welcome sunshine. In due season, Granddad gathered a bountiful harvest of golden grain. The fruit of his hard labor was at last a sweet reward.
Preparation creates a passage for the entrance of good things, but it is hard work and usually not a pretty part of the process. I was beginning to learn more about what it means to belong to the Master. When I received Christ as Savior, I gave him my heart. He has always known exactly what I need.
My obvious tragedy, cancer, was a tool in His skillful hands. He tenderly began the process of honing, shaping and molding me into a more pliable image. It hurt, and I did not understand. I was clay in the Master’s hand and the tool He used was painful.
The things God often uses might be a broken relationship, a tragic accident, overwhelming disappointment or a chronic illness. The hurtful events of life are often instruments in the hands of a merciful God, which draw humanity unto Himself. Cancer was indeed a sharp, cutting instrument.
| P | R | A | Y | E | R |
PREPARE!
The painful process of preparation enhances the ultimate purpose of one’s existence.
The cause of pain in your life can be your greatest blessing if you surrender it to God in prayer. Think about Joseph in the book of Genesis. A string of unfortunate circumstances literally set him up to become the savior of his people.
...Joseph said to them, "Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives."
(Genesis 50:20 & 21 - NIV)
Trouble is a tool that God has always used to prepare hearts. He may not create the bad things, but He gently and wisely uses them to accomplish His will. It’s the conditioning of the heart that makes some people better in tough times, while others become bitter?
Your battle is winnable. Get ready, get armed, and get prepared to stand in triumph!
...put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand...Stand firm... (Ephesians 6:13 & 14 - NIV)
PRAYER: The winds of change are blowing. Without You, Lord, I would be so afraid. Your unconditional love is embracing me and preparing me to survive this storm in victory. Please use this season in my life to make me more like You. AMEN.
Two: Rise Above the Storm
I could hardly wait to get out of the bedroom and tell everyone in the house what my heart knew: I had a promise from the Lord! Levoy and the family needed a positive report. Just enough grace to take that next step...that’s all I had. All I could handle was one little baby step, and its discovery was pivotal in transforming my state of mind. The assurance from the Bible on my nightstand was enabling me to cope. God’s Word was giving me courage to face the circumstances. The disease no longer loomed like an ominous threat. The promise was bigger than the problem.
A glance in the mirror prompted a quick touch-up. The distraught face looking back was that of a stranger. I grabbed a hairbrush, ran it through my rumpled hair and fumbled in the drawer for some lipstick. I found my drugstore eyelashes stuck to a pillow, and back they went on my swollen eyelids. Rachel was only six years old...too young to comprehend all this cancer stuff. It was time to see her “Mimi” with a happy face.
Isn’t it amazing what a word from the Lord can do? I stepped out of the bedroom on wings of fresh hope, with head held high, clinging to Psalm 119:116. I shared that promise from the Psalmist David as a declaration of my trust in Him. My family stood with me, according to the scripture:
I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. (Matthew 18:19 - NIV)
We claimed the promise! Tears of joy flowed down our faces and praises ascended. We laughed and danced about the room in the face of the storm, because we believed the promise in His Word. For the rest of the afternoon, we reminded one another of other storms...other uncertain times when our backs had been against the wall. God had never failed. He was literally upholding me according to His Word, as in times past. Anticipation of God’s intervention surged within my spirit.
I chided the girls, “Y’all can stay out of my stuff. Your Mama’s not going anywhere.” Cindy and Suzanne were never shy about going into my closet and borrowing anything they needed—well, almost anything. My girls and I have exchanged everything except shoes. All three of us are really glad we don’t wear the same shoe size. My teasing comment was music to their ears. Everyone in the house knew I was back and in usual form.
Never shall I forget the next day, when I awakened on the brink of the greatest storm of my life. It was not one of those welcome thunder clouds that rained new life into the thirsty ground and made the skin tingle when the hot lightning bolts streaked across the big sky. I was living the real life experience of being caught in the midst of a killer storm that would seem overwhelming in days to come. The forecast was frightening and bleak. Fierce winds would blow against my vessel and would seem to be unbeatable.
Instant healing did not happen and I was disappointed. Although I had support of family and friends, I felt isolated. It was my personal storm and I had to go through it. No one could take my place. God’s providence had allowed it to come and, by His grace, I would find the strength to rise above it.
I have experienced healing many times; sometimes instantly, and sometimes through a long process. The timing and outcome are God’s business. Tongue in cheek, I used to say, “If you have a choice, take the quick one.” I expected a miraculous healing that would astound the medical community. Then it came to me: God does not need my creative ideas to write my testimony. I knew that my prayers were not unanswered, only delayed.
