Jesus was asked if a man could divorce his wife for any reason whatsoever, he repeated what Adam had said about a man and a woman becoming united as "one flesh," and then he added, "What, therefore, God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." (Matthew 19:6)
This means that God ordained marriage to be an inseparable union for life, and no human being has the right to separate what God has joined together. However, this does not mean that married couples, who were once joined together as "one flesh," can never be separated. It only means that they SHOULD never be separated!
We often do what we shouldn't do. It is called sin!
And the sin that separates what God had joined together is not the divorce itself, but the breaking of the marriage covenant that had once united them.
Various fourth century writers have taught that the words, "let not man put asunder" meant that marriage was "indissoluble". But marriage cannot be considered indissoluble because Moses and Jesus both allowed the dissolution of a marriage whenever a couple's marriage vows were broken by sexual immorality.
Some other theologians have thought the words "God hath joined together" were a reference to sexual intercourse. This led to the development of the traditional doctrine that a marriage is not fully completed or "consummated" until after the couple has had sexual intercourse.
But how can someone be only half married?
Can a woman be only half pregnant?
And if sexual intercourse were necessary to complete a marriage union, why was a written divorce required to end a betrothal relationship? And why were those who were unfaithful during their betrothal period called adulterers and then stoned to death?
Anyway, this erroneous doctrine is easily refuted by the Lord's next words, "let not man put asunder." Since the couples are never to be separated, this cannot possibly be a reference to sexual intercourse!
Sometimes Christians will think that the words, "God hath joined together" must mean that God has specifically chosen their marriage partners. This is not necessarily true. God has a perfect plan for your life, and he will help you find a compatible mate if you pray for this, but he will never take away your free will to choose.
Marriage on earth is very similar to our spiritual marriage with Jesus. God will draw you towards his Son (John 6:44), but you still must choose whether or not you want to accept him. As with earthly marriages, you must first enter into a marriage covenant with Jesus before he becomes your eternal bridegroom.
Revelation 19:9 "Blessed are they who are called unto the marriage supper of the lamb [Jesus]."
As Christians, we are all looking forward to that glorious day!
MARRIAGE IS A PURE AND HOLY UNION
During the first few centuries of Christianity, the church leaders recognized that marriage was a pure and holy union, but it was discouraged because of their severe persecution by the Roman government and the hope that Jesus would soon return.
When the apostle Paul wrote to the church in Corinth around 56 AD, he said, "The time is short; it remaineth that both they that have wives be as though they had none." (1 Corinthians 7:29)
This was understandable at the time because so many Christians were then being imprisoned, tortured, and even put to death. However, the persecution of Christians ended abruptly in 313 AD when the Roman Empire granted freedom for all religions by issuing the Edict of Milan.
Christianity was then publicly endorsed by the Roman emperor Constantine, so it immediately became "politically correct" to profess Christianity. This eventually led to the corruption of the church leadership by people who joined only for political reasons. Illiteracy was common so the newly formed government approved church hierarchy was composed mostly of those from the wealthy and well educated ruling class.
The leaders continued to discourage marriage, but now for completely different reasons. Apparently, these newly appointed church leaders overreacted to the sexual immorality that was prevalent in the wealthy ruling class, and then went to the other extreme by promoting complete abstinence from all sexual relations, even in marriage!
These fourth century leaders also promoted asceticism (extreme self denial) as a way of gaining God's approval. They encouraged total abstinence from all sexuality and demeaned the institution of marriage itself by saying that it was substantially inferior to a single celibate life. Ambrose and Jerome were probably the most influential writers who supported these extreme beliefs.
Ambrose was a Roman governor before he became Bishop of Milan in 374 AD. He felt guilty because of his privileged birth, so he "immediately distributed his share of the family wealth to the poor and set an example of strict asceticism in the episcopal household." [New Catholic Encyclopedia, Volume I, McGraw-Hill, New York, 1967, page 373]
Although he was never married, he was the first Bishop to write at length about sexual issues in the church. As might be expected, he zealously promoted his own celibate life style as the ideal for both married and unmarried Christians.
Because marriage permitted sexual intercourse, he felt that it was considerably inferior to a single celibate life. And since church leaders were supposed to be examples of purity and holiness, he believed that all clergy should be single and celibate.
He apparently ignored the fact that the apostle Peter was married and, according to Clement of Alexandria, he also had children. In addition, most of the early church leaders were married, and some of them even brought their wives along with them on their missionary journeys. (1 Corinthians 9:5)
Jerome was also unmarried, and he went even further in discouraging marriage. He was convinced that sexual relations were intrinsically evil even within marriage, and therefore should be "tolerated" only for the purpose of conceiving children! He once said that "Marriage is only one degree less sinful than fornication!" [A History of Christianity, by Paul Johnson, Macmillan Publishing Co, New York, 1967, pages 109-110]
Since both Ambrose and Jerome were later canonized as "saints" by the Roman Catholic Church, their beliefs on human sexuality have had a very strong influence upon succeeding generations. This has been especially true for those who were brought up in Catholic parochial schools.
While abstinence is important before marriage, these beliefs have made some married people unable to enjoy normal sexual relations without feeling guilty. If you also feel this way, this can be easily dispelled by asking yourself the following rhetorical questions.
•Since Adam and Eve had not yet sinned when they were told to "be fruitful and multiply,” how were they supposed to obey God if sex was sinful?
•Since God never tempts anyone to sin, why would he tell Adam and Eve to "be fruitful and multiply" if he thought sex was sinful?
In short, sexual relations are pure and holy as long as they are kept within the covenant of a monogamous marriage relationship. It is only the misuse of human sexuality outside of the lifetime marriage commitment that is wrong.
HUMAN SEXUALITY IS GOOD!
Everything that God has made and ordained is good. When God made the earth, the sun, the moon, the stars, animals, birds, and sea life, "God saw that it was good." But he was even more pleased with his creation after he made Adam and Eve, because he then said it was “VERY GOOD!" (Genesis 1:31)
Ecclesiastes 9:9 "Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which
