Elijah.” I sat down so the boys could approach me, just in case they were shy. Well, they were not shy. They were two of the most zealous children I’ve had the pleasure to meet. Elijah was six and Joshua was eight. They were in first and third grade. They talked at the same time and were absolutely charming. After a ten minute data dump of information they were quiet for a moment.
“When I grow up, I’m going to be a herpetologist,” Joshua said.
“And I’m going to be an etymologist.” Elijah chimed in cheerfully with an adorable lisp. I was pretty sure he meant entomologist. I couldn’t imagine he would be that excited to study words.
“Reptiles and bugs, how are you going to feel when your brother’s reptiles are eating your bugs?” I asked.
“I’m going to Madagascar to study big bugs, huge bugs…bugs bigger than Joshie’s reptiles; bugs that could eat him!”
“Is that right?”
“Do you want to see our reptile room?” Joshua asked. “Yeah, the reptile room,” Elijah cheered.
My college roommate was a zoology major and was forever commandeering new pets. Reptiles were her favorite, so I learned by osmosis. I never imagined my exposure to herpetology would prove useful. “Want to; I would be disappointed if I didn’t…that is if your father …”
Emmet was already giving an authoritative nod of approval. Each child took one hand and they lead me up the vast staircase to the reptile/ bug room on the third floor. It wasn’t at all what I had expected. The room was about sixteen by twenty feet, maybe bigger. Most of the wall sharing the hallway was glass. The floor was completely covered with sand. There were several potted cacti, a few potted trees, two piles of rocks, a few scattered boulders, and a small waterfall of sorts in the corner of the room. A desert mural was painted on the remaining three walls and the ceiling was painted to look like the sky. I had expected a few tanks with turtles and frogs; maybe even a little snake. This was truly eccentric.
The room had no windows or vents. The boys opened the door for me and the three of us ambled in. I turned to Susan and asked if she was joining us. She shivered a bit and shook her head no.
The room was warmer than the rest of the house; eighty-five degrees or so. Walking around were six large bearded dragons and two large turtles. On the walls and trees were numerous anoles and geckos; thirty at quick count. On the tallest rock pile next to the waterfall there were two mountain horned dragons. Several types of frogs hopped around among countless crickets. A huge thing that looked like an iguana swam in a shallow pond at the bottom of the waterfall. No snakes. I was careful not to step on anything.
The boys sat on the floor and talked about all the creatures and critters in the room. I sat on the boulder next to them making sure my shirt was pulled well below the back of my pants. The surroundings didn’t bother me, but I would lose all composure if a cricket jumped down my pants.
“Sometimes if the anoles get too close to a bearded dragon, they get eaten,” Elijah shared.
“Does that make you sad?”
“Not anymore, but it used to.”
Joshua picked up the mountain horned dragon and set it on my shoulder. The excitement they had talking about their pets was inspiring. What I found amazing was the knowledge these two little people had regarding these creatures, their habitats, and eating habits.
We must have spent a good thirty minutes in the room when I saw Susan and Emmet in the doorway. I didn’t look up because Elijah was still talking to me. I strained to hear their conversation.
“I told you,” Susan said to Emmet. “Un-phased; she even has one of those scaly things on her shoulder.” A few more minutes passed as they stood and watched. “Okay boys, time for dinner,” Susan said.
The boys stood up without complaint, brushed the sand off their pants, and each took a hand to lead me back downstairs. As we walked to the kitchen we passed Emmet in the library. He was on the phone.
“I know that isn’t your process, Lydia, but I’d like to offer her the job while she is still here. If she says no, she says no. In fact, to give her more exposure to us, she can join us for dinner. Do you want to speak with her first?” I could hear Lydia responding in her kindergarten teacher voice. It sounded as if she was reprimanding Emmet. “Not a problem, Lydia. Susan and I both feel she’s qualified. Besides, this isn’t rocket science. Anything she needs to learn Amanda or Susan can teach her. As far as the background check…” he said, his voice trailing off to a whisper.
Soon Emmet came to the doorway to the kitchen. “Annie, would you come with me for a moment please?” This time I immediately answered to my new name. We walked back to the library and he handed me the phone. “Lydia would like to speak to you.”
“Annie, he wants to offer you the job. He is going to invite you to dinner if you want to get to know the family better before you make a decision. It’s up to you. You don’t have to give him an answer tonight, but if you stay for dinner, he is going to expect one. You’ve had an unusual week of interviewing. This isn’t how I have the hiring process structured. There’s a feedback call, a second interview, I do a write-up for both parties, a formal offer is …” The frustration in Lydia’s voice was amusing.
“Lydia,” I interrupted, suppressing a chuckle. “I would be honored to stay for dinner.”
I handed the phone back to Emmet and he motioned for me to have a seat. Once off the phone he offered me the job, again reviewing the requirements, duties, and pay. He asked that I join the family for dinner and wait until after dinner to give him my answer. “Any questions?” He asked.
“Yes, tell me …do you have an alligator pool or shark tank for your budding scientists?”
“Not yet,” Emmet said, finally lightening up while we walked to the kitchen. “I deflect enough disapproving feedback from the reptile room, but Eli and Josh love it…and it’s incredible what they have learned since we created it.”
Susan ducked out after serving us dinner, and Emmet’s formality dissipated as the boys asked me questions…like if the Hulk and King Kong were battling, who did I think would win; would I rather be eaten by an alligator or an anaconda; and my favorite, if I was a female wrestler, what would my name be. I knew all children weren’t this entertaining to be around, but I couldn’t help feel a bit cheated not having any of my own.
After answering all of their questions, I asked, “So what happened to some of the ladies like me who worked for your dad?” I was interested in getting the children’s perspective of employee turnover.
Eli looked over at his father first, then with the most innocent expression he said with his cute little lisp, “Well, the first one…um….we didn’t know she didn’t like frogs,” shrugging his little shoulders. “And she always wore dresses and scarves too. You shouldn’t wear stuff like that around frogs. She never came back. Dad mailed her all her stuff.”
“But you like frogs,” Josh said.
“Pretty much,” I said, “so I guess we don’t have that problem since I’m okay with frogs and I usually don’t wear dresses and scarves.”
“Guess not,” Josh said with a sort of problem-solving maturity.
I couldn’t help get a quick visual of Emmet’s assistant with frogs up her dress
