a wise woman who has worked with the process of accepting her situation and has come to make peace with it. At the same time, she is getting the best possible conventional medical care, and taking care of her body with healthy habits like exercise, a wholesome diet, and daily meditation.
But there is more to the story than simply accepting what is happening. She is in touch with the reality of the situation, and, at the same, she wants to be cured. Here is how Karen wrote about this aspiration:
“I suffered a couple of days of despair after the diagnosis. But since then I have known that I will be ‘OK.’ Maybe not ‘OK’ in the way that I would have defined it five weeks ago, but in a bigger sense. I felt that while I cannot be positive that I will ‘beat this’, I can be positive that I will have the courage to face what is ahead. I am positive that I will have the support from loved ones, the expertise from my doctors, and ultimately the grace from God to ensure that this turn in the road will not be a negative force in my life. And I believed all of that, and still believe that, from deep within my soul. But in the past two weeks, something else has crept in. I am starting to believe (or want to believe?) that I will ‘beat this’ in the conventional sense. I’m starting to demand it of myself, and to ask it of God. There is a proportion of women who survive breast cancer of my stage, so why not me?”
Accepting the reality of a cancer diagnosis while aspiring to be cured of it may sound conflicting – as if you are trying to go in two directions at once. Yet holding these two opposites at the same time is especially useful when working with the difficult emotions that arise with a cancer diagnosis and related treatments. It is normal to feel anger, sadness, frustration, guilt, pity, numbness, and a whole plethora of others emotions. These feelings can be particularly intense during the few weeks following a diagnosis. They often flare up again at the end of therapy, and can continue to well up for years. Instead of denying them or pushing them away, you can be open to these emotions and regard the whole process as an opportunity to heal on psychological and spiritual levels.
Karen accepts the uncertainty of her future, and is still determined to do everything she can to be there for her children. She continues to work with all her emotions as they arise each day, including truly loving herself as she is. By holding the tension of pro-activity and acceptance, both in her physical care and on the spiritual journey, she is nurturing her own transformation and healing.
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