belt or in the head with a two-by-four. All that went through his mind was, “I am not weak or stupid. You don’t know who you are messing with!”
With his head and thoughts reeling Bruce thought to himself, “Game on! You took your punch and now it’s my turn!”
An uncontrollable fury burned in Bruce. He couldn’t listen anymore. He was so upset and angry that he ripped the headset off of his head and threw it down on the floor. “I can’t take listening to his garbage anymore,” he thought. “Khrushchev’s challenge is personal as far as I’m concerned. He’s gone too far!”
In that moment Bruce made a silent and personal vow to himself and his grandfather: “I will make Khrushchev EAT HIS WORDS! I don’t know how, but I will make it happen.”
As he continued to sit in the visitors’ gallery he was in his own private world. He tuned out everything and everyone. Before he knew it his friends, trying to get his attention, poked him and said, “Hey, man, come on. Let’s hit the streets and have some fun.”
That was the last thing Bruce wanted to hear. He was still fuming. He wasn’t interested in having fun. All he thought about was Khrushchev and his threats. “This is very personal and I know that I’ve just encountered a very strong and formidable adversary.”
“Come on, man, it’s time to go. We have to leave the gallery now. The speakers are taking a break,” explained his friend Charlie.
Bruce finally tuned back in to what was going on around him and noticed his friends getting up to leave. He realized it was time to go. He was slow, still thinking about what he had just witnessed. He lagged behind his friends.
As he walked out of the gallery he wondered, “What am I going to do? I have to do something. I’m still so angry my head feels as though it’s going to explode!”
He continued to tune his friends out as they made their way to the bus. Bruce kept to himself, wrapped up in his own thoughts. The bus ride was noisy and everyone around him laughed and joked. Loud music played in the background. The guy behind him wanted to get Bruce’s attention so he held the radio up to Bruce’s ear. Bruce was still angry about the encounter with the Soviet Premier and he thought, “Enough! I’ve had enough!”
He turned around and punched the radio out of the kid’s hands so hard it went flying down the aisle and as he did he yelled, “Turn that radio down!”
His friends were stunned and didn’t understand what was going on with him so they began to tease him more. They became very sarcastic and taunted Bruce with their comments: “What’s the matter, Bruce? What’s up with you? What’s wrong with some music? Are you some kind of prima donna? Oooh, aren’t we touchy? Look at the big baby.”
These tough Jersey kids cut him no slack. Bruce was furious and wanted nothing to do with them. He couldn’t explain what he felt or what was going on so he did the only thing he knew how to do. He attacked and yelled back: “How can you guys laugh and joke around? Didn’t you hear what I heard today? Khrushchev said, ‘Soviet kids are better and smarter than we are.’”
That didn’t make an impression on anyone. Everyone continued to laugh as though nothing had happened. He heard one of the kids say, “So what? Who cares? Lighten up, Bruce.”
“Who cares? That’s the problem. I care,” replied an angry Bruce.
He felt sick and was disgusted by his friends’ reactions. “Don’t they get it? Didn’t they even listen to what was said today? They should be getting ready for battle instead of laughing and joking. What’s wrong with them?”
He was still angry with Khrushchev and didn’t understand why no one else was. After his outburst and confrontation everyone on the bus decided to leave him alone and it grew quiet. No one wanted to make him any angrier than he already was. The ride home was very subdued.
Feeling desperate, alone and isolated, surrounded by silence and in a state of mind he couldn’t explain he thought, “Maybe Khrushchev was right. I can see the problem clearly and I don’t understand why others can’t. It’s a chilling thought and I don’t want to believe it. I don’t know what I’m going to do or how I’m going to do it, but I will do something.”
The seeds of his mission sprouted and began to grow. He was ready to take action even though his ideas still weren’t clear. “I’m on my own and there isn’t any help coming from anyone. I don’t care if I have to do it by myself. There’s no going back even if my friends won’t listen. I won’t give up!” he promised himself.
In spite of the resistance and opposition that Bruce perceived he decided to go forward even though it seemed like an impossible task. He put the panic attacks and fear behind him and with his head down he took the next step. Bruce felt alone in his quest yet he felt strong and determined to do something. His mission began to take shape. An act of one is all it would take and he was willing and driven to move forward even though the details of his mission weren’t totally clear yet.
A DEFINING MOMENT
The third and last significant event that helped Bruce clarify his mission occurred during the same year, just before homecoming weekend and during football practice. Practice seemed to take on a life of its own. It was almost dark and the practice should have been over an hour earlier. Everyone was exhausted from running sprints. The field lights were on and you could see rain and snow swirling in the glow of the lights. A heavy mist enfolded the field and everything appeared gloomy. The air felt heavy as though fog had been swirling on the ground.
It seemed to the players that practice wasn’t going to end at any time soon. The team kick-off return specialist pulled a hamstring muscle and limped off the field. Instead of ending practice the Coach called Bruce over and said, “Get back there and return kick-offs. He won’t be playing tomorrow.”
You could hear moans coming from all of the players. They were ready to hit the locker room and call it a day. It was Friday night. Practice had already run over one and a half hours. Everyone had stuff to do to get ready for tomorrow’s homecoming game and dance. The Coach didn’t care. He had a personal grudge against Chatham High School, the team they were scheduled to play the next day. They were another archrival and had won the prior year’s game. Coach didn’t want a repeat performance and he wanted to make sure the players understood how important this game was. “Get back on the field and kick that ball!”
Bruce couldn’t believe what the Coach asked him to do. He was angry and felt betrayed. He thought, “What? He’s kidding, right? Does this guy hate me? Why can’t someone else run back kicks? What’s wrong with the running backs sitting on the bench? Tight ends don’t run back kicks. I hate running back kicks!”
Practice was especially tough and Coach seemed unusually hard. Unsatisfied he kept yelling for more and better play: “Get out there. Play full out. No slacking off.”
Bruce was a leader on the team and considered himself a team player. Although he didn’t agree with Coach he ran to get into position and all he could think about was, “We’ve just finished running wind sprints and some of us are probably dehydrated. We’re all exhausted and heaving our guts out. What is he thinking? He’s obviously in a bad mood.”
The field was harder to see but Bruce got in position and took the next kick-off. He fought off tacklers and returned the ball to the twenty-five yard line. The next thing
