feeling my heart with my hand and wondering if it was going to hurt very much to get stabbed in the heart, and if I was going to die like a deer. I was so scared of dying, but the thing that frightened me even more than being stabbed in the heart and dying was the thought that no one would ever find me, no one would ever know what happened to me. I figured out later that the people that should have cared would have preferred that I did die and disappear on that day.
This fear is the reason that I have been trying to find my babysitters body for close to 20 years. Maybe because I survived, I have always felt that the only reason that I was allowed to live and still live today is that I have a debt that I owe, a purpose in life that is special to me, and that special purpose in my life is to find her, no matter how much of my life it takes. She is my guardian angel, and she needs to be found, and I owe it to her to try as hard as I can to find her, no matter if anyone helps, or what others may say, or how embarrassing it may seem to me. There is no price so great that I would not pay in terms of my suffering, to find her.
I have felt her with me throughout my life. She has kept me alive all this time. I have had guns put to my head, my heart, and my stomach. I have been held hostage at gun point more than once and no one has ever pulled the trigger even though it seemed like they really wanted to. I always knew they would not and was never afraid. I have been in spectacular car wrecks, and motorcycles accidents, and have never broken a bone, or received a serious cut. She has always been with me, keeping me alive until I became the man I am today, and I find her.
The three attackers finished their breakfast, stood up and started to clear the table in preparation for using it to cut me up on (good working height). I was within seconds of being stabbed in the heart and cut into pieces, when my now dead baby sitter, whom I now call my guardian angel, saved my life for the third and final time. I choose to say and believe this because I believe it is true. If there are no coincidences, then it is true. If there is a god, then it is true. Many times when people are in great fear, to relieve that fear, they will focus on someone else, as if their whole existence depends on the survival of that other. I believe that her concern for me was similar to that, in addition to that motherly instinct that is inherent in many women (who choose to embrace it). A mother can be courageous beyond belief. I believe that feeling was carried to her death with her and the events subsequent to this point will bear more reason to believe that I am right.
Just as they were about to throw me up on the table and begin dissecting me, a pickup truck pulled into the ranch compound. This was truly a miracle, and it is also the third and final time that my babysitter saved me, even though she was physically dead. On that day so many years ago, she became my guardian angel. The three evil monsters saw who it was, and immediately started freaking out, and trying to come up with something to say. There were two women in the pickup truck. One looked old, and the other looked middle aged, heavy set, brown curly hair, glasses (I think). Either Jake or Bill recognized who these people were. The heavy set lady was my babysitter’s Aunt. She had come to pick her niece up from babysitting me. The three attackers came up with a plan to tell them that the girl and I had gotten scared and run off during the night, and that they didn’t know where we were. So, the bad guy and Bill went outside to enact their plan. I heard them and remember the bad guy saying that the girl and I had got scared and had run off during the night.
All of a sudden, Jake say’s “Come Here Forrest”. He was standing at the screen door that leads from the house. He said it again with more urgency when I just looked at him. I finally went over to him after the second time he insisted. He said, “Get outside, get outside”, and pushed me out the door. I stepped out of the door, and onto the concrete step.
The heavy set lady, the bad guy, and Bill all turned and looked at me at the same time. You could tell it scared the lady, because seeing me meant those guys were lying to her, and that something was really wrong. I’m sure she could see the fear on my face as well. She talked to the bad guy and Bill for a few more seconds, and then got back in her pickup truck and left. I was led back into the house.
The bad guy and Bill came roaring into the house, screaming at Jake. I thought they were going to attack him. They asked him why he did it, and he replied that I “was his brother’s son that he wouldn’t let them kill me”, and then he said that actually, he didn’t really know why he did it, and I could tell that all of a sudden, he regretted what he had done. Through my life I have always given credit for this miracle to my guardian angel and god. Jake didn’t even know why he did that; he just did it. This meant that they could not kill me now because someone had seen me alive. I was saved.
A couple hours later, I don’t know what I or they were doing, the truck with the two ladies comes pulling into the ranch compound again. This time she is upset and crying, she knows they did something to her niece. She gets out of the truck and starts crying out “I want to talk to the boy”, meaning me. The bad guy and Bill go outside to meet with her, but instead of talking, they start throwing her against her truck and slapping her really hard. She was crying and yelling, “I just want to talk to the boy”. I couldn’t believe my eyes. I thought they were going to kill her for sure. I couldn’t understand what the bad guy and Bill were yelling at her, but it didn’t matter, I could see they were getting their point across. After a long minute or two of yelling, slapping, crying and screaming, they stopped and threw her into her truck, and told her to get the hell out of there. So, she left, really upset. I think she knew right then in her heart, that her niece was dead.
After the two ladies drove away, they grabbed me and threw me back into the old truck at the top of the hill. I remember it was getting cold. I was still barefoot, with only a light shirt on, so I curled into a ball on the seat and tried to stay warm, and fell asleep.
After what seemed a couple of hours, I was awakened when a black and white police car pulls up, turns into the gate, turns left and stops just inside the ranch compound. A policeman gets out of the car, and the bad guy and Bill walk up to him. He was a giant police man with a Smokey the bear hat on. He towered over the bad guy, and Bill looked like a midget next to him. He started having words with the bad guy, then they started to argue, then the policeman grabbed the bad guy, spun him around, pushed him over the back of the car, and handcuffed him. He then put the bad guy into the back of the police car and drove off. I later found out the bad guy had gotten arrested for disturbing the peace for beating on my babysitter’s aunt, and I only recently figured out that the police man was actually a highway patrolman (the Smokey the Bear hat).
On that same day (Sunday) at around dusk, Francis and Wendell Elzig returned home from Reno (I overheard them say that they had gone to Reno to gamble). I was finally removed from the old truck and brought to the house, and I don’t remember anything from that night, I must have fallen asleep right away, but the next day was full of memory.
The following day, I guess they had already told The Elzigs what happened the day and night before that. They knew the girl was dead, and were very upset. We were inside the house across from the bunk house, which is the house the Elzigs used as a residence. It was a red clapboard house, 2 bedrooms, a small pass through (converted into a bar) between the kitchen and living room. They made me sit in a chair (bar stool) at the small bar and listen while Bill marched around and kept pointing at me. He was trying to blame me for everything. His logical thinking was that if I wasn’t alive, then I would not have needed a babysitter, then none of this would have happened, so it just has to be Forrest’s fault. They were pleading for mercy from the Elzigs. I think that it’s really sick that someone that could commit such heinous acts without any mercy or compassion for another human being and expects mercy and compassion when their life is on the line. I remember them saying something about being called a deserter and being executed for what they did. All the while, Bill, and now Jake too, were pointing at me and continuing to blame me for what had happened. They were blaming a 5-year-old little kid for everything that happened that night and following day.
They eventually arrived at a decision. My Uncle Wendell, Bill and Jake left the ranch compound together carrying shovels. Several hours later they came back.
