the tunnels we found intelligence (that is, paperwork), and that was particularly so in that very first area of tunnels that we had found, the tunnels of the Ho Bo Woods. We had landed right on top of a major Viet Cong headquarters and we took out ammunition, equipment, tons and tons of explosives, and over a hundred thousand sheets of paper. One of the things we obtained was the current assassination list that the Viet Cong had compiled on their political and military enemies in Saigon.
For the role I played in the tunnels I was awarded the Military Cross, one of the highest orders for bravery. I also received the American Bronze Star from the United States Government as recognition of my work.
When I returned to Australia I progressed in my military career, for a time continuing in the regular army, and then, for a time, in the army reserve. Upon leaving the regular army my civilian career progressed well and I joined the ranks of the ambitious corporate executive. My moment of personal crisis had certainly not yet arrived. Up until this point my experience of life had generally been a favourable one where I had succeeded at just about everything I had put my hand to. Sure there had been problems along the way, including a most stressful few years in my married life, but I thought I could handle everything that came up. Through the work that I did as the National Production Manager for a bedding and furniture company my mind was constantly confirmed in the analytical, logical processes I had picked up in my army days and in my education as an engineer. All in all things were looking up.
During the 1980s something happened which caused me to realise that the scientific advances, particularly in medicine for example, were not necessarily providing all the answers we wanted.
During this time I faced a family problem involving my son, Andrew. It was this experience that was to start me on an inward journey of discovery about the use of the mind, relaxation states, faster learning and power of the inner strength that is in all of us. This was not to be my crisis but I later realised that the experience was like a guidepost which pointed me in the right direction when my crisis came.
Andrew had suffered the effects of asthma for fifteen of his seventeen years. It had always been a problem and it just seemed that the conventional way of treating it didn't really work. Andrew's attacks became worse and worse until his bouts with asthma required hospitalisation and treatment with a cortisone drip in his arm. The worst thing was that there seemed to be no medical prognosis for Andrew's recovery. In army terms, all we were doing with Andrew was fighting a delaying battle with no real plan of winning. There had to be a better way, a way in which we could win the battle against asthma.
I took Andrew to a doctor and the doctor taught him how to relax and release stress quickly _ during the actual asthma attack. It really helped Andrew. One of the problems of asthma is that, once a bout commences, it is not unusual for the victim to become frightened and panic a little. This panic causes more difficulty in breathing, the difficulty in breathing causes more panic, and so a dangerous spiral pattern of cause and effect sets in. Relaxation can break this pattern and Andrew was mastering it, taking control of it. Andrew's deliberate use of his mental persuasion over his body was more powerful than the latest drugs. What an interesting insight that was!
Then Andrew, who rode a motorbike, had an argument with a bus one day and lost. His leg was badly broken below the knee – a ghastly mess with bone shattered and sticking out. For a time there was every chance that Andrew might lose his leg. He was advised that cortisone, which he needed to control the infection (nothing else would work) inhibited the growth of bone marrow, so the best solution was to amputate the leg.
I called back the same doctor who had previously helped Andrew control asthma. The doctor said he could help Andrew control his infection and that Andrew could also help to control his own pain and assist his healing. Andrew undertook the mental discipline of directing his own healing and so the next thing I saw was Andrew recovering with his leg and getting better with asthma, both at the same time. A miracle – completely foreign to me!
There was something going on in Andrew's subconscious mind that I couldn't understand. I said “Hey Andrew, it's so powerful, teach me”. And so he did. It took me a year and in that year I proved to myself that there was such a thing as a powerful subconscious mind. During six months of that year I released 22 kilograms of weight using only my mental powers to do so. I was able to bring down my blood pressure by 20 points just standing right in front of the doctor and could also reduce the strength of my pulse at will. I was excited. Proof! I devoured every book I could possibly find on the subject. The Power of the Subconscious Mind by Dr Joseph Murphy was the first one and then that referred me to many more. I was off on a new journey.
So in this process of development there was a little chink starting to open up in my belief system. I could see that some of the conventional ways of medical treatment were lacking and I became open to the idea that the power of the mind might be far greater than I had previously given it credit. After a while the chink became bigger and bigger because the most important thing for a “prove-it-to-me-person” had been provided to me – proof! The case of my weight release was proof because I purposely took no other measures such as dieting or exercise to shed the unwanted kilograms. I knew that I would never ever be bored again in my life because there was just so much to do, so many things to learn about and that learning could be so much easier.
Then, on 23rd January 1987, the real stuff of personal crisis came for me. I had the most traumatic experience when three of my daughters and one of their friends were shotgun murdered in the safety of their own home. Jenny and Kirsty were twins and 19 years old, Lexie was turning 16 the very next morning and their friend was just 19 too. They were far too young to die, they were just innocent kids, blameless victims of a crazed attack.
That was a real shock to me .... and shock is the first thing that I can really recall. When I was told about it and how it happened and all the other details I was just dazed, really dazed. I didn't accept it, didn't buy it, didn't believe it and couldn't possibly reconcile how such an act of extreme random madness could happen to the members of my family. Again, going back to the idea of my basic mind-set which I have described to you, it violated that logical process I believed in which said that a logical cause would have a logical effect. I couldn't come to terms with the idea of chaos, the idea that my girls were the victims of an utterly chaotic random chance.
At first I hadn't started the anger process, or that process where I desired revenge. Revenge, hatred, bitterness, these were emotions that were yet to come. For me it was just disbelief, total disbelief – and then shock. Vietnam hadn't prepared me for this.
It was when I was in this dazed condition that the wife of an old friend from my Duntroon days reached out to help me. And luckily I had the good sense to reach back and take the hand she offered. Michael Burge, before his untimely death a while before this, had first extolled the virtues of the Insight Seminars to me and introduced me to Insight I. He too was a retired Colonel, in charge of Insight Australia, which basically runs self development programs and his wife Kathryn taught these programs. Kathryn offered the hand of help and advised me that as I had already attended Insight I, I should now do Insight II.
Kathryn was a wonderful friend in this time of grief. When Kathryn said, “Look Sandy, just do it, just trust me and do it.” It wasn't hard to trust and I really got a lot out of it. As a digression from the story for a moment, I just want to add here that when or if you ever face a crisis, you can be sure that there will be friends to help you. The help might come from a friend from a long time ago, or a recent friend, or, I believe, it might even come from a stranger. You might even be surprised by the area from which the help is offered. The important thing is this – grab hold of that help and work with it as hard as you can. Don't worry too much about thanks at the start, this can come later. Use the help. The true compliment of thanks can be shown to your friend by your willingness to work with his/her help. In the final analysis, (there's that word again) the fact of you ever actually saying “Thank you” may not even be necessary at all. Your helper might actually be performing
