27Relationships245
Chapter 28Running Your Own Race254
Chapter 29Tools – A Little A Lot262
Chapter 30The Goal Book and Action Plan268
Chapter 31Life’s Purpose Now280
Appendix A Books Tapes and Videos289
Appendix B CALM Seminars 296
Foreword
I first met Sandy in early 1994 shortly after the murder of my son Michael. I was in the depths of depression, angry at the world and had revenge as a focus. I approached him knowing that with the murder of his three daughters, he had experienced what I was going through.
Sandy began to bring some sense to my life to the point where I was prepared to participate in his CALM LIFE SKILLS Seminar. What a profound positive difference this made to my life.
Sandy has worked with tens of thousands of people, mostly Australian, some of whom faced an enormous range of trials, difficulties and challenges. This has put him in a position to observe closely the strengths and weaknesses of people in all walks of life and recognise the points of character typifying those who are happy and those who are not.
Since 1990 Sandy has conducted seminars Australia wide and some overseas. He is a man who walks his talk and demonstrates how he values the individual. In this way he is able to give his best to each person by keeping his seminar groups small.
Inspired by his personal mission to help others, Sandy has established an impeccable track record and his reputation is widely recognised by professors, psychiatrists, psychologists, general practitioners and counsellors who have referred people to him and his seminars.
An extraordinary man whose aim is to empower others.
Well Sandy has done it again. At the end of a decade of tireless work in the public arena he has produced his fifth book – “Creating Happiness Intentionally” – CHI. He has chosen to pass on the methods, exercises, techniques and tools from his CHI Seminar, without barrier and without reserve.
The reader will find the book a generous work of human sharing. It deals with:–
An approach to finding life’s purpose
A method to identify those things which propel you to your life’s purpose
Ways to resolve the tension between your life’s purpose and everyday life
Techniques to keep you on track
Stress management
Creating harmony and happiness in your life.
Do you want the most out of your life? The information in Sandy’s book will empower you to do just that.
It’s a must read and do for all – from students, business people to pensioners – it’s never too early or too late to demonstrate your own power by enhancing happiness in your life.
Remember – be ready at any moment to give up what you are for who you can become.
Take care,
Ken B Marslew
Introduction
Happiness is important to all of us. It is trite to say that we only get one shot at it. The fact is, no matter what our outward circumstances, we have to decide to be happy and achieve happiness all in the short space of our lifetime.
Imagine the frustration you would feel as an elderly person reviewing the course of your life and concluding you had spent most of it in wasted effort. I have been told by a palliative care worker that the people who have the hardest time coming to terms with death are those who have regrets, those who have not fulfilled their purpose. It is a fundamental question you need to address in life – we all have only one shot at it.
Here are the anonymous thoughts of a 90 year old woman who was obviously going through a process of reviewing her life.
“I’d Pick More Daisies”
If I had my life over, I’d pick more daisies. I’d try to make more mistakes next time. I would be sillier than I had been this trip. I would relax. I would limber up. I know very few things I would take seriously. I would take more trips, travel lighter …… I would be crazier. I would be less hygienic. I would take more chances. I would climb more mountains, swim more rivers, and watch more sunsets. I would eat more ice-cream and less beans!
I would have more ACTUAL troubles and fewer IMAGINARY ones.
You see, I’m one of those people who live practically and sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day …
Oh! I’ve had my mad moments and if I had to do it over again, I’d have more of them … in fact, I’d try to have nothing else. Just moments, one after the other, instead of living so many minutes ahead. I’ve been one of those people who never go anywhere without a thermometer, a hot water bottle, a gargle, a raincoat and road maps.
If I had my life over, I would start barefooted early in Spring and stay that way until late Autumn. I’d play truant more. I’d do more water and sun-fun things. I’d turn more somersaults and roll in the grass and go barefoot all over.
If I had my life to live over, I’d spend more time at fun places. I’d try to be more in touch with God and those I love. I’d pray aloud more and not care what people think or expect of me. I’d give more of me and take more of you. I’d just be ME more and more … Yes, I’d pick more daisies next time.
Happiness: Boots and All
On the 8th of January 1966, Dennis Ayoub had plenty of reasons to be unhappy.
Elsewhere in the world good things were happening to young men of his age – the freedom revolution of the 1960’s was well under way. Living standards were improving and young men were relaxing down at Bondi Beach or buying their first cars.
But on this day Dennis happened to have the dubious pleasure of finding himself right in the middle of the Vietnam War. On this day, for the second time, he found himself in the confined dank spaces of an enemy tunnel beneath the Ho Bo Woods in the infamous Iron Triangle, a Viet Cong stronghold. Not long after his first descent into this tunnel system Dennis had witnessed the danger of underground work. His section commander had become asphyxiated in the narrow confines of the tunnel and fainted. The deadweight body had been pushed, shoved and pulled from the tunnels. Contact with the enemy tunnel rats was possible at every moment. Above ground several Australian soldiers and some American servicemen had already died in the operation.
And yet, despite these outward circumstances, I can report from close observation, nothing ever stood in the way of Dennis Ayoub being a happy man. I can say this because I was his Troop Officer and he was my radio operator.
I’ll take up part of the story in Dennis’ own words:
