smiled to myself. Snook was going to need some coaching lessons before talking to Gloria about boy-girl matters. I could see that.
For the second time that day, Snook and I were sitting in the lounge room. It was nearly six o’clock. The television had been switched off and for the past thirty minutes I’d been drilling Snook on the dos and don’ts of boy-girl etiquette. I was no expert, but I figured I knew more about the subject than Snook. It was proving to be hard work, like wading through mud. ‘Stop squirming and looking at the ceiling, Snook,’ I said for the umpteenth time. ‘It’s not easy trying to turn you into a gentleman.’ I was only joking of course, but all the same I think I was getting a tiny bit exasperated with the whole exercise.
‘What are you on about? I am a perfect gentleman.’ Snook pointed to Shadow who was curled at my feet as usual. ‘Ask that dog of yours; he knows I’m a good guy. He’s always trying to lick me.’
Ignoring his remarks about Shadow, I said, ‘I should ask Gloria whether she thinks you’re a gentleman,’ I said. ‘It might be a different story then. But all jokes aside, try to remember what your mum keeps telling you.’
‘What’s that?’
‘Before your mouth goes walkabout with your brain, think before you say anything.’
‘Whatever. I suppose she does say that a bit,’ he mumbled as he reached for the remote. Then, more to himself than me, he added, ‘We might as well watch television for a while. There’s nothin’ better to do.’
Oh, well, I told myself, looking at the forlorn figure of my cousin. You tried to help him but I guess it just didn’t work. Wondering whether I’d been even remotely successful, I asked, ‘Did you understand anything I said to you?’
‘Yeah,’ he replied, as he flicked through the stations. ‘You said somethin’ about me talkin’ to Gloria more proper, and you said I should mind my etiquette. But that’s not what worries me the most.’
‘Oh? What does, then?’
‘Gloria’s dad. If I go around to her place and talk to her, her dad’ll be there and he’ll wanna talk to me. That’ll be heaps more scary than sayin’ sorry to Gloria. Whenever he sees me he keeps askin’ me things. Like how I feel and whether I’m eatin’ the right stuff. Just ’cause he’s a doctor, he thinks it’s okay to go around askin’ things like that. And then, when you say you’re okay, he shakes his head and gives you the once over with his eyes anyway.’
‘It’s Gloria you’re going to see, not her dad,’ I pointed out, not showing any sympathy. I thought Snook was probably exag-gerating anyway. ‘Besides, who’s to say he’ll even be there when you talk to her?’
‘Oh, he’ll be there, all right. He’s always there. He hovers around like a hawk that’s after a sparrow. He watches every move I make and then he talks to me using all these big words that I can’t understand. It’s always the same.’
I had to ask. ‘Don’t you like Gloria’s dad?’
‘Yeah, he’s all right. I just hate talkin’ to him.’
At that moment the front doorbell rang. ‘I’ll go,’ I said, getting up.
Snook pushed up from his chair. ‘I’m goin’ to the kitchen to get a drink. All that lovey-dovey talk and thinkin’ about Gloria’s dad has made me thirsty.’
I answered the door, and as soon as I saw who it was, my stomach did a little dance.
Chapter 6
I was more than a little surprised when I saw Gloria and her father standing on the doorstep, especially since we’d just finished talking about them. Déjà vu, I think they call it. I asked them to come in. Guessing that Gloria probably wanted to talk with Snook – about today’s events maybe – I was about to tell them where he was when there was the sound of broken glass coming from the kitchen. Followed by a short, sharp, very loud curse.
I rolled my eyes and looked at the ceiling. Snook’s attempt at etiquette had suddenly taken a turn for the worse. Gloria and her dad looked at each other, eyebrows raised, as if to say such language would never be tolerated in our house. They then looked away, not saying anything, trying to pretend that nothing had happened. ‘Er, Snook’s in the kitchen,’ I said, feeling my cheeks burn. ‘We could go through to the lounge room if you like. Snook will join us in a minute, as soon as he’s cleaned up the, er, finished doing what he’s doing.’ I knew I was starting to prattle but for the life of me, I couldn’t stop. ‘I’m afraid my aunt and uncle aren’t here at the moment,’ I went on. ‘Snook’s dad’s still out in the boat fishing and his mum’s at the shop. I expect they’ll be home soon. Er, did you want to see them?’ I willed myself to stop yabbering.
‘It’s not Mr and Mrs Kelly we wish to see, Jars,’ Gloria’s father said. ‘We would, however, appreciate a word with Snook.’
I pointed to a chair. ‘Right, um, have a seat while I go tell him you’re here.’
Snook beat me to it. He breezed in, not looking surprised that we had visitors. ‘Hi Gloria, hello Mr Huntingdale,’ he said grinning widely, at the same time pointing backwards with his thumb. ‘Did you hear me drop the glass back there? Stupid of me that was. It slipped. Still, never mind.’
I smiled to myself. It was a good thing Snook’s father hadn’t heard him cursing back there in the kitchen; he would’ve got a good whack on the backside and a reminder that it was only people who don’t have a command of the Queen’s English who swear. Snook wasn’t worried about anything like that, though. Tossing his head in the air, causing his long fair locks to bounce, he said, ‘What’s up?’
Gloria’s father smiled and said, ‘I’d like a word … about what happened to you last night. You gave Gloria quite a scare.’
I could see that Snook was about to say something inappropriate and probably not very tactful either. I could see that he was embarrassed; he’d coloured up and his eyes were flashing. His lips had gone all wormy too. I gave him a nudge. ‘You’d appreciate that, wouldn’t you, Snook?’ No response. I gave him another nudge. ‘Wouldn’t you, Snook?’
‘Uh? Yeah … sure … whatever.’
Gloria’s dad nodded. ‘Thank you. I’m sure that what I have to say will be mutually beneficial.’
Snook looked across at me, eyebrows raised. What’s going on? his mouth, twisted like play dough, was asking. What’s he talkin’ about?
‘How are you feeling this evening?’ Gloria’s dad asked Snook. ‘I haven’t seen you for some time and Gloria tells me you’ve been a little out of sorts lately, ever since last night, I believe. Would you like to talk about it? That could be the cause of your abnormal behaviour.’
What’s goin’ on? he asked again silently.
Gloria’s father continued. ‘I have to say, you do have a somewhat harried look about you. In fact, you appear quite distraught as if something deep inside is troubling you.’
‘Nope, I’m all right. I’m not troubled.’
I felt sorry for Snook. His voice had gone all twitchy and tiny bubbles of sweat were starting to pop out on his
