tomorrow as I am getting my haircut tonight.”
Mr Roche continued talking and writing on the board, barely managing to turn his head to look at the class, let alone involve them in the lesson.
“As I was saying, our world is flat. What you can see is all there is. You look out in each direction and you see the edge of the world … either wasteland or ocean reaching out to the end, depending on which way you look. Beyond that there is nothingness … scary, horrible, terrifying nothingness. The opposite, my friends, to life.” He said the word life slowly while staring at Drake.
Drake started to drift off to sleep. Roche’s voice sounded like a dog with a sore throat and it was warm in the room. He awoke to a loud bang on the desk.
“Drake come up the front and write down the last five words I said on the board.” Drake jumped up, forgetting about the hole in his suit, and his jumper fell down onto the floor. He walked up to the front, winding between the desks and wrote on the board, “Last five words I said.” He turned around and stood to the side of his handiwork. Everyone was laughing. He thought it was at his funny joke on Mr Roche and grinned proudly. Then he looked down and saw the big hole in his suit and his red undies showing through. He looked at the class all laughing and pointing. Juniper was sitting right at the front in the centre. Drake wanted the ground to eat him for dinner.
Juniper’s face was red and her expression strangely contorted. Then able to contain herself no more she let out a huge roar of fire straight towards Drake’s groin. The fire engulfed his middle and his suit designed not to melt onto skin, peeled away from his skin, stopping the fire from spreading but also leaving Drake naked around the middle. Completely naked.
The class was now in uproar. People were laughing so hard they had fallen off their chairs. Others seemed to be suffocating with laughter, gulping for air. Mr Roche was furious and yelling at the top of his lungs.
“You,” he said pointing to Juniper. “You have a detention tomorrow now too. And don’t give me any of that Tourette rubbish. Good excuse that is to indulge in your barbaric behaviour.” He then took his jacket off and hurled it at Drake. “Put this around you and keep it when you finish. I don’t want anything back that’s been there.” He pointed at Drake’s naked middle. “Class dismissed!” he said dramatically throwing his hands in the air and storming out.
Drake wrapped the jacket around his middle and ran straight home without even stopping to get his homework from his locker. Good thing his dad was visiting tonight. He really needed some support from him. He was relieved to see the two-storey cottage with its white picket fence and row of roses and chillies planted in turn.
Drake discovered when he arrived home that his mother had baked an enormous chocolate cake covered with marshmallows and chillies. It was Drake’s favourite but when he saw it his heart sank.
“Dad’s not coming tonight, is he?”
“No, sweet, I’m afraid his secretary called to say that he’s just too busy. I’m sure he’ll make it up to you. Have some cake.” Drake’s mum was short and soft-looking, with kind large brown eyes, long eyelashes and a head of large wild orange curls. Drake was grateful that he’d inherited his dad’s hair, even if it wasn’t perfect.
“Thanks Mum.” Drake walked up to his room before his mum could notice that he was wearing Roche’s jacket. He didn’t want to have to explain. He took off the pieces of his dad’s outfit and put on some normal clothes. He sighed. Everything was dreadful. It couldn’t get any worse. He’d made a fool of himself in front of everyone. It was like one of those dreams you have when you were in front of the class naked … only it was real. Everyone in the school would know by now and tomorrow everyone would be laughing at him. They’d be sticking notes on his back and calling him ‘naked boy’ or something cleverer than he could think up himself. And he had made a fool of himself in front of Juniper. He cringed at the memory of standing up there grinning like an idiot. And he had to face her in detention tomorrow night. He groaned loudly. Then his stomach groaned loudly.
He went downstairs and ate some cake to keep his mum and his stomach happy and then went back to his room and went to bed. He wondered why he had to say such stupid things. And why did his dad have so many things to do that were more important than him? Maybe if he didn’t say so many stupid things, he thought, his dad might have more time for him. He covered his head with his blankets, wallowing in self-pity, and cried himself to sleep.
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