her away, and held my head. ‘I want to be with my mum. She’s not going to die, is she?’
‘No,’ she reassured me, taking my hand, ‘but Steph, you have to stay calm.’
‘Okay, okay,’ I snapped, releasing my hand, and ran outside.
The noise of the siren was freaking me out. I waved, signalling for the ambulance to stop at our house. I waited for them to cut the engine and ran up to the driver’s door. ‘My mum’s inside,’ I told them and waited impatiently as they collected their gear. ‘Hurry,’ I begged, leading the way.
The paramedics brushed past me and Aunt Cass led them to Mum. I followed from a distance. ‘All the signs of a heart attack,’ said Dad, rubbing his hand across his chin. He only does that if he’s upset or worried. A lump of fear rose from my stomach and lodged in my throat.
One of the paramedics took Mum’s pulse and listened to her heart with his stethoscope. The other paramedic was swabbing her skin with wipes, attaching electrodes to her chest, arms and legs. Once in place, he switched on the ECG, and Dad hovered over the machine as the results came spitting out on a long strip of paper.
The paramedic glared up at Dad. ‘Are you a doctor?’
‘A vet,’ he replied, and mouthed words to Aunt Cass that I couldn’t hear.
One of the paramedics started asking my mum questions, but her voice was too soft to hear her answers. The other paramedic rushed back to the ambulance.
‘Dad, what’s happening?’ He didn’t answer. ‘Dad,’ I said louder, ‘are they taking Mum away?’
‘Later,’ he snapped, and I backed away.
The paramedic switched off the ECG. Dad came over to me and waved Aunt Cass in closer.
‘The ECG wasn’t too bad, but they have to take your mother in for observation. I’ll go in the ambulance and Aunt Cass will take you. We’ll meet at the hospital.’
It made sense, but I didn’t allow my body to relax. I stood hard against the wall as the paramedics wheeled Mum past me. When she reached out for my hand, the paramedics stopped, allowing her to talk. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told me.
I studied her lips. They were back to their normal soft pink colour. I bent over and kissed her on the forehead. Mum disappeared into the back of the ambulance and Dad climbed in after her. The siren started up as they drove off, indicating that the emergency wasn’t over.
Aunt Cass wrapped her arm around me and led me into her bedroom. I stood at the end of her bed, numb and helpless. Like a toddler, I let her dress me.
‘The keys, where are they?’ she mumbled, rummaging through the bag on her bed.
‘They were on the kitchen bench,’ I replied.
Aunt Cass swept up my hand, snatched the keys off the bench and ushered me out the front door towards the garage. I stood watching as she struggled to open the old timber doors. I didn’t think to help her.
‘Come on,’ she called, waving me over to the passenger side door of Grandad’s black Bentley. I was wearing my white top, a pair of long, flowing blue-and-white cotton tie-dyed pants and a pair of red Crocs that were too big. The pants and the Crocs belonged to Aunt Cass.
Aunt Cass wriggled her bottom into the cracks of the old leather seat, gripped the steering wheel and turned on the ignition. The engine started to hum. Her freckled face was flushed. The humming of the engine interrupted my thoughts. Aunt Cass released the handbrake and started reversing.
‘You’re worried too, aren’t you?’ I asked.
‘Of course, I am, Steph, but stressing isn’t going to help.’
Fear sat in the back of my throat like a lump of bread stuck halfway. I swallowed. ‘I wouldn’t want to live if anything happened to Mum.’
Aunt Cass frowned. ‘Nothing is going to happen to your mother, Steph!’
‘You didn’t see her struggling out there – she could have drowned.’
Aunt Cass stopped at the end of the driveway to let a car go by. ‘Your mum didn’t drown.’ She placed her hand on my mine. ‘She’s safe.’
I stared vaguely at the world beyond the car. ‘Yeah, I guess.’
‘You did well, Steph, you took control of the situation. Your mum would be proud.’
‘Joslyn, she’s in my grade, her mum died.’
‘Your mother isn’t going to die.’
‘How did Gran die?’
‘Your Grandmother was eighty-one when she died.’
‘Yeah, but what happened? I knew that she was unwell. Was it her heart?’
‘It was old age.’
‘Oh, right,’ I said, resting my head against the headrest, thinking of life without Mum. What would happen to me? Our house would be empty, I’d be alone. I’d never want to paint again. My eyes filled with tears as I drowned in self-pity.
Aunt Cass’s hand touched my knee. ‘Your mum’s not going to die,’ she reassured me, but I didn’t believe her.
‘Did you pick up my phone?’
‘I threw it in my bag. You can reach in for it if you want.’
‘No, I’m not ready to talk to anyone just yet.’ It’s crazy how one minute things are perfect, and suddenly they’re not.
Chapter Three
THERE WERE TWO ambulances parked in the hospital emergency area. The door of one was open, but I couldn’t tell if it was the same ambulance that had transported Mum.
Aunt Cass veered into the entrance of the hospital car park, stopped, took a ticket, and the boom gate opened, letting us through.
‘The car park’s full,’ she told me, and made her way to level blue, then green, to yellow, stopping on level orange. All the spiralling didn’t help the knot in my stomach. Aunt Cass got out and slipped the parking ticket into the side pocket of her skirt, waiting for me. I admired the way that she handled a crisis. She was as solid as a World War II bunker. ‘Hurry,’ she ordered and started walking towards the lift. I ran to keep up.
The lift was claustrophobic and smelt of worn rubber and disinfectant – disgusting. The words welcome to shit creek were scratched on one of the stainless-steel panels. I held my breath between floors.
The doors opened into a reception area.
‘Wait here,’ said Aunt Cass, leaving me in the patient administration area. A girl lined up behind Aunt Cass. She had a massive tattoo with the name Chris across her lower back. At least she had options if they broke up. You could turn the name Chris to Christ or Christmas. I managed a smile.
Aunt Cass came back. I tried to read her face.
