her theory of how ultrasounds can cause an unborn foetus irreparable damage (just as Andy had recounted our first ultrasound anecdote). She was mouthing off generally. Telling me about her son as though being mothers would make us both the same.
She had plonked herself down next to me and was trying to look deeply into my eyes in that way drunk people do. At one point, when I’d had enough of her slurring babble and was trying to pretend that the light fitting directly above my head was enthralling me, she demanded of me,
“Why won’t you look me in the eye?” She then shouted to Hal across the table. “She won’t look at me. Why? Why won’t she look me in the eye?”
Hal guffawed nervously. Andy gave me the look he gave me when he thought I was upsetting the apple cart. That was the crux of it. Don’t cause an upset. I guess Andy’s seen enough upsets to last him a lifetime. But out of everything, that was the thing that I found the most difficult to take. The stretched tension, the hideously misshapen bubble of normality as Hal pushed the boundaries and the rest of us struggled not to react.
It was shortly after this birthday dinner that I began to excuse myself from attending as many Hal-associated social occasions as possible. No longer concerned about what impression I was making, I became more concerned with trying to maintain an optimistic view of my husband and the gene pool that he may be passing onto our children.
Above all, it was the feeling of being gagged and silenced in the face of Hal’s always awful behaviour that I found so frustrating. According to Andy, I had to let Hal do what he did and I was not to challenge him. Because Andy, normally such a bull-headed and forthright person, always chose to work around him instead of confronting him head on.
In the early stages of our relationship, I made the mistake of thinking less of Andy because of this. Then one day it dawned on me that somewhere in the past there had been a confrontation that had resulted in this curious Straw family dynamic; where no one challenged Hal and the way he behaved.
I realised then that it only has to happen once. From then on, just the threat of it is enough to keep everyone in line.
Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
Текст предоставлен ООО «ЛитРес».
Прочитайте эту книгу целиком, купив полную легальную версию на ЛитРес.
Безопасно оплатить книгу можно банковской картой Visa, MasterCard, Maestro, со счета мобильного телефона, с платежного терминала, в салоне МТС или Связной, через PayPal, WebMoney, Яндекс.Деньги, QIWI Кошелек, бонусными картами или другим удобным Вам способом.
