in his brow. Eventually pulling away, Rei walked back into the house with the bowl, leaving Sho alone again.
A sudden thought struck Sho. Could it be that Rei was debating whether or not he should relinquish the compass to Sho? He sighed. Then again, he didn’t necessarily need ownership of it. He could technically just borrow it from Rei.
As Sho stretched his legs out and leaned back, a bottle of rum was put down on the floor to his left. Rei settled on the floor too, kneeling with his legs to the side, as usual. Without looking at Sho, Rei uncorked the bottle and said, “Drink with me.” It sounded more like an insistence than an invitation.
Obliging, Sho took the first sip then passed the bottle to Rei. Surprisingly, he mimicked Sho’s sip instead of drinking in large mouthfuls like on previous occasions.
Putting the bottle down, Rei was silent for a moment, staring at the sea with an unreadable expression before saying, “Is there a reason why you always have your eyes on me?”
Sho felt another jolt and he shifted his eyes away, embarrassed. There was nothing negative in Rei’s tone, no disdain whatsoever, but Sho couldn’t help but feel awkward. Rei was right though. For some unfathomable reason, Sho’s gaze would just naturally end up on Rei, as if there was some kind of magnet that subconsciously drew him to Rei.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to,” Sho muttered, thoroughly abashed.
“It’s not that I mind,” Rei said. “I was just wondering…”
“Hm?”
“Will you leave without me?”
Sho frowned. “Why would I do that? Didn’t we agree that we’d leave together?”
“Well… If there were circumstances that prevent me from doing that, will you go off on your own?”
“I don’t… understand. Why would-”
“It’s just hypothetical,” Rei cut in as he turned to Sho and flashed a smile. “Just… what if. Will you go?”
Sho stared, trying to decipher the reason for all the strangeness that Rei suddenly started exhibiting. He supposed answering Rei’s question might shed some light on that…
“I don’t feel inclined to do that,” he said frankly. “I agreed to take you with me and that’s what I intend to do,” Sho added firmly, turning away to cast his eyes over the sea again. He reached for the bottle and took another sip, hoping that the rum would settle the unease that had begun to grow. He really didn’t like the idea of leaving without Rei.
A soft laugh came from Rei. “I see…” he muttered. Sho heard Rei pick up the bottle, drink, and set it down again.
Sho waited for Rei to say something, but nothing came and the silence between them drew out. The waves continued crashing. Neither of them touched the bottle. Rei remained mum.
Eventually, Sho’s patience wore out. “Why did you ask such a question?”
Rei turned to Sho, leaning closer to him. His eyes slowly wandered over Sho’s body; his slim legs, crossed; the borrowed faded navy robes, wrapped around his slender frame; his collarbone and chest left exposed by the loose neckline; his hair, now long enough to reach his shoulder blades.
“Rei?” Sho called and Rei snapped his eyes to Sho, his expression inscrutable with a strange look in the dark depths of his eyes.
“I can give you the compass,” Rei finally said. “But the other…” His words trailing, Rei looked down, his finger tracing the grain of the wooden planks.
“What ‘other’ are you talking about?” Sho asked, perplexed. “If you’re worried about me leaving you behind, I’m telling you that’s not happening. Is my word not enough for you?” he continued, growing upset as a distressed frown took its place on his brow.
“It’s not that,” Rei denied. “It’s just… If you… I’m scared that you’ll…”
“Is it about what happens after we leave?” Sho ventured. “You can stay with me. With the boat and the promissory notes we can go anywhere, do anything,” he said. After a moment, a thought struck him. “Or are you worried that I’d abandon you then?” Sho laughed bitterly, suddenly feeling dread instead as he smirked wryly. “I’m more afraid that you’ll leave me after finding out how much more interesting the rest of the world is compared to me.”
Rei stared at him and Sho froze, realising what he just said. He didn’t even understand what compelled him to say something like that. He liked Rei but he shouldn’t stop him from exploring the world… right?
With that in mind, Sho hastily added, “But if you want to, you should.” He immediately reached for the bottle and drank a couple of mouthfuls, trying to ignore Rei’s intense stare and calm the butterflies in his stomach.
“And if I don’t want to?” Rei asked, his voice soft.
“Then do what you want,” Sho said nonchalantly, hiding the small sliver of gladness he felt.
Rei chuckled and shifted. “I… don’t know if I should.”
Sho moved to get up, grunting as he said, “Well it’s your choice, isn’t it?” He could feel Rei’s eyes following him as he walked back into the house. “I think I’m going to turn in,” Sho muttered. Maybe sleep was what he needed to clear his head. He had expected Rei to head indoors with him, but this time, Rei chose to stay on the walkway while Sho lay down to sleep.
It felt like Sho merely blinked, though, when he stirred to the vague sensation of something brushing across his cheek and heard a quiet murmur of his name. “Sho…”
“Hn?” Sho grunted groggily.
There was a sharp intake of breath. “You’re awake?” Rei whispered, startled. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”
“What is it?” Sho slurred. Cracking his eyes open as he turned, Sho saw the vague outline of Rei illuminated by the light of low fire in the hearth behind him which reflected off his robes. It looked as if Rei’s pale skin was adorned by spots of multi-coloured lights in Sho’s blurry vision as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.
“No, no, it’s nothing,” Rei muttered quickly. “Go back to sleep.”
“I’m awake,” declared Sho. His eyes still felt dry but it didn’t matter. “What is it?”
“It’s nothing. I was just thinking about… things,” Rei insisted. “Don’t worry about it, just go back to sleep.”
“You were touching my face, weren’t you?” Sho asked, speech still slurring. Adjusting his position, Sho lay on his side as he faced Rei.
Rei’s eyes grew wide and he turned flustered. “You must be mistaken! I don’t- I haven’t-”
“Weren’t there other occasions too?” Sho continued, looking past Rei to look at the wall behind him. “Though I think your hands were under my clothes.”
“Ah! No! I- That’s- You weren’t supposed to wake up…” Rei’s
