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The uncertainty experienced in philosophical wonder lies at a deeper level than the ordinary, everyday threats made to our existence, deeper than our ordinary experiences of failure. This need to make a leap into the dark reveals to us that there has been some obscure kind of loss, of existential loss. It is precisely in the urgency of this inescapable surrender of ourselves that we realize that the uncertainty of which we have now become aware has always been, without our knowing it, a component in all our actions, in the general tone of our existence, in our attitudes and our premonitions of the future. It (this uncertainty) has always been rising up from within us in varying emotional forms, assuming shapes, putting on masks or playing parts in our waking experiences, and still more, in our dreams. Whatever the different manifestations, one thing they all had in common—a feeling that we do not belong “here”, that “somewhere” we have lost something, something very significant. What, we do not know and never have known. That is why we feel so much uncertainty about making the new leap in our existence, because we have always been so uncertain in our world, uncertain despite our superficial air of security in a self-made and forcibly maintained world-structure of practical utility. But, precisely in this uncertainty, we gain anew the knowledge that there is a sure guarantee. Even as we tried, amid the temporary expedients of our daily life, to build up for ourselves a safe situation out of small assurances, and palpable certainties, we were longing, all unconsciously, for a guarantee that would dominate them all. This quest for certainty is an unconscious return, a groping after something that lies far beyond the concrete forms of our search. We constantly strive to push our way across the mysterious boundary which runs through things, persons and events. We live in a constant expectation of infinite encounter and ineffable security.Конец ознакомительного фрагмента.
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