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Note From the Author
Dear Reader,
Scarred Faith – the Wounded Warrior blends stories from many men who have struggled with sexual impurity and broken marriages. These men have lent their experiences to the making of this book. I have integrated their confidential stories to provide discretion and avoid any unnecessary suffering for the ones who love these men. I’m truly sensitive to the hearts and feelings of their wives (including my own dear wife).
As the author of this book, I know there’s a powerful necessity to tell the story of these men in order to help others who have not yet recognized the dangers of their situation, and don’t see how deadly it is to continue down that condemned road.
We’ve seen what happened to men such as Tiger Woods, Lawrence “LT” Taylor, Billy the Kid, Mike Tyson, Bill Clinton and many others, whose lives have been forever changed in light of their indiscretions. But all that we know about those men is tainted by the media because of the money to be made in publicizing their sensational stories.
Scarred Faith will give you a truthful insider’s perspective from the minds of men who fell into sexual addiction, but have since confessed their sin — and mine — and are receiving help. We have laid out our lives before you in the pages of the book in your hands. We pray that after you read it, you will pass this book on and help others to understand just how deep this sin can take any man who cannot stop himself.
Remember: “The wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” (Romans 6:23)
Thank you for purchasing your copy of Scarred Faith - The Wounded Warrior. As the author, I pray that God will use this honest book as a blessing to you and your loved ones.
Sincerely,
Landon
Our Story
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge.
(Hosea 4:6)
This book is the journey of one man, but the story of many — including those who are struggling today with the temptations of sexual addiction.
It might seem to be a common story these days, but I believe this book has something new to tell you about desire and pain, as well as forgiveness and renewal. The story is about what happens to a man who is a leader in his church, a married man who is devoted to his wife and family, but who finds himself tormented and torn between his spiritual passion to please the Lord and his deeply-rooted carnal needs as a neglected man. It is also about his undaunted faith, his hope and fear, and the absolute reality of God’s love.
The Bible says God will provide a way of escape from the temptations that are common to man (1 Cor. 10:13; 2 Peter 2:9). Blessed is the man who listens to the Spirit when the opportunity to sin seems irresistible. But what of the man who finds temptation too strong? A man might be willing to escape, but too weak to resist, just as the disciples were too weak in their tired bodies to stay awake and keep watch with Jesus Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matt. 26:41). They fell asleep, in the very presence of our Lord.
This is the story of a Christian men who went astray and sinned, repeatedly. You might find this book disturbing, disgusting, or fascinating, but above all, I hope that you will see how the Big Picture is all about breaking free from sex addiction and improving your most intimate relationship — your marriage. I pray this story can be useful in your life, and in the lives of those you love. You might even be a man like the ones characterized in this book, or maybe you’re married to that kind of man. This book is for you.
This narrative also presents the aftermath of sin, the chastening and anguish of the sinner, as well as the pain and suffering inflicted upon others (especially his wife) by the sinner’s actions. The charity of love will be revealed.
Above all, this book is about the experience of a man’s deliverance from sin, and by the Grace of God, his incredible awakening to find the Kingdom of God, for which I praise the Lord and thank Him with all my whole uplifted heart and soul!
For that man is me -
Please don’t get me wrong; I’m not out to exonerate psychopaths, deviants, perverts, rapists and ruthless criminals. Let me stress and reiterate that I hope to shine a light on how even believers fall into sin and adultery, as so many did in the Bible, including David, whose ancient Psalms give us the voice of a man very much like ourselves, although his poetic genius and profound spirituality far exceed the ambitions of this little book. On that humble note, let us begin.
Deprived / Depraved
A man’s falling out from monogamy begins in the weakness of his marriage. Admitting this basic fact is not to put the whole blame on either his wife or himself, but upon both of them. In my case, I’m to blame for doing what I did, obviously. I was in wretched shape at the time. That’s undeniable, as you will see. But the fundamental truth is that my marriage was a house divided. My wife and I were not strongly united in our relationship. A deep fault lay between us, beneath the surface. Our marriage was on shaky ground. The pressure below the surface was immense. I had built my marriage upon human hopes and desires instead of upon the foundation of a faithful relationship with God in Christ.
In a genuine Christian marriage, each spouse is accountable for what they don’t do, as well as what they actually do. A man like me must be deprived within his marriage to do things that can make him seem depraved in the eyes of others. But a husband and wife are partners in everything that happens in their marriage. The truth is, when a marriage gets into trouble, it’s usually not just one person’s fault, although if one commits adultery, he/she is the obvious culprit. In our case, that was me. I was the villain, the devil in the mirror, the one who went astray and committed adultery.
Who would go outside their marriage if they were happy within it? This is a pivotal recognition, important for understanding all that follows, so that this story will make more sense to you than it does to anyone who cannot tell the sinner from the sin. I believe that God always — ALWAYS — makes that distinction and never stops loving His lost child. If this were not the case, we sinners would have no hope at all.
”Though your sins be as scarlet, they will be as white as snow.”
(Isaiah 1:18)
You see, adultery is no accident; it’s not what causes the breakdown of a marriage. Something is already broken in the union before thoughts of committing adultery start in the heart of the man who acts out his lust and sins in the flesh.
Perhaps resorting to sex outside of marriage is a bit like losing the will to keep going. You might even say that adultery is to marriage what suicide is to life. They say that a suicide attempt is a desperate cry for help — for love, really. I think that an act of adultery, even as a thought in a cheating heart, can be a cry for love, too.
In his inspired letter to the Corinthians, Paul lays down the rules on how a husband and wife are meant to save each other
