leave the beauty of the beach, we delayed just long enough for me to be able to experience the water reconnect again. Carrying my shoes and rolling up my pants Michael instantly understood and made his own preparations for keeping his clothes dry.
We stood at the edge of the dry sand for only a moment before we walked a few steps into the surf. The reward was glorious. We turned to each other to note together the extreme loveliness of it all and to register the memory with one another. Yes, all was right with the world. I moved over to Michael and put my hand in his to be near him and to give recognition to the fact that neither of us could have it without the other. Michael pulled me tight into his body and wrapped his arms around me for a full body reconnection in the water. The sparks and pops made us laugh.
The water was cold but the chill on the water didn’t change the way the reconnect gave us the goodness. Michael couldn’t seem to help himself when he splashed me, only a little. The water was so cold; I was startled and in a knee-jerk reaction, splashed him back. That was all it took for Michael as his splashes increased in quantity and frequency. It only took minutes before I was soaked to the skin. I’d splashed him some, too, but I got the worst of it or the best of it depending on how you looked at it. The water reconnect was like a ‘step into another universe’. We felt a sense of ‘well-being’ with endless possibilities and the confidence and freedom to accomplish any of those possibilities.
Since my entire body was dripping wet, going deeper wasn’t that crazy. Total submersion was my intent and Michael read my obvious tell and nearly beat me under as he dove in. Underwater we found each other and wrapped up. Our unity was great comfort as sparks jumped from Michael and me and back again. Under all the chaos I felt Michael nuzzle me with his lips on my neck just under my ear. Every nerve end stood to attention in anticipation of what he would do next.
What he did matched what I did. We held on and held our breath as we rolled like a united log. The salt water pushed into my skin until my pores opened up and the sparks rushed inside to add to the intensity that was already going on. When it was necessary we surfaced for air; we surfaced under no effort of our own. Our eyes joined together looking for a witness to have seen and felt and been part of that oddest of events. No words were required because our need for each other said all there was to say.
At the time, it didn’t seem like odd behavior to experiment with the wave both externally and from within. There’s nothing in my experience that’s ever come close to the intense suddenness or the slow anticipatory rise of sexual response than being hit with the wave while submerged. At one time in our experimenting, we decided that it was not possible to forecast the direction or shape in which the wave would take at any given ‘event’.
Neither of us was shy about trying new experiments. Knowing that our time together was limited we pushed our tolerances to the very ‘nth degree. We were brave for one another and greedy and driven by the connect we pushed to give ourselves, to please each other, and to chronicle all of it. Michael had his way and I had my recall.
Cold and shivering I knew we had to get out of the wet clothes. Even though there was a blanket and a coat in the back seat, we’d need more than that. A look in the trunk proved to be fortuitous as it was harboring another blanket and my son’s big sloppy sweatshirt. I took off my wet sweater and put on the sweatshirt. Giving Michael the big over coat and the large blanket to wrap up in, he was much more comfortable and decided that he wanted to drive.
It took only a minute or two for the car to get warmed up and cozy. That coziness added to the atmosphere of well being while we talked about the water reconnect. I had to confess that the lower half of my body was still vibrating and then wondered out loud how long it would last.
A smile took up residence on Michael’s face and for a long time I watched to see if it would change but instead Michael looked over to me and smiled even bigger.
“You were fierce back there; you never once backed away. That was ridiculously fun and scary.”
It was always a thrill for me to hear Michael talk after an experience that took away our ability to do anything other than hold on to each other. Talking after was one of my favorite things; the effort we made to understand each episode brought us closer.
He asked, “Did you notice how we didn’t even need to think about breathing because we surfaced when we needed to even without effort?”
He continued without expecting an answer from me.
“There were quite a few moments today when I was transported back to our time in Sandy’s pool and was able to anticipate, to a minor degree, where the wave was taking us.”
Always looking for successes and trying to learn more about our connection and what it wanted from us, I looked at what Michael said as a break through. If he could anticipate anything during one of our reconnect episodes, it was more than I could do. His input could be the way to figure it out.
“Do you have a pool or a hot tub at your place in London?”
I was wondering if Michael and Lu had experienced the water reconnect together.
“Have you and Lu been swimming a lot?”
Michael looked at me again and confessed that Lu didn’t get that part of the connection when we copied (a simple ritual) my connection into her.
“What about the appreciation and gratitude?”
I asked, as I was beginning a new worry that Michael was not being appreciated the way he should be.
“We don’t have that between us either. It’s a good thing we love each other and appreciate each other naturally or because of our love.”
What to do with that information, I didn’t know.
Since I knew I’d make sure that Michael got what he needed from the connect, talking about my effort to find the right person to meet my needs sexually might not have been the best thing right then. But, our time was limited; Michael would be leaving in a few hours.
“Michael, now that you and Lu are married and sex between us is not even a possibility I wanted to let you know that I’m gonna look for a partner. Yes I know that it’ll probably be an impossible task to find someone my principles would allow me to be with.”
I made the statement in a conversational tone. It was merely an informative statement not something that was meant to goad. Michael cared for me and I knew that he wanted me for his own and would prefer that I not have anyone in my life that could distract from our connection. His demand was completely unrealistic; I needed the complete physical connection and Michael couldn’t give it to me.
“Do you have someone in mind?”
Michael’s voice was controlled but I could feel his unease.
“Well, believe it or not, the opportunity has presented itself to me on a few occasions by more than one person; so, no, I don’t have one particular person in mind for the arduous task of being my sex partner. I’ve never actively looked for someone to be a partner of that kind. I’ll probably have to try out a relationship with all who present themselves to me as I do the research it’ll take to find the right man.”
The last sentence was a thought – just something I was thinking that came out of my mouth without my realizing I was saying it out loud.
“That sounds a bit dangerous Helen.”
Michael didn’t like what he heard.
“Michael,
