The Anti-Therapist. Keaton Albertson
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KEATON: That’s right. Your judge is a nice man. So we don’t want to make him upset now, do we? He’s ordered to you finish this treatment program. And a big part of the program is the polygraph. But I don’t want you thinking that this is the last step. The polygraph is the beginning of treatment, not the end. The information that we get from the test will determine what type of treatment you need and how long you stay here. Just because you pass the test doesn’t mean that you get to immediately return home to your family. Do you understand?
LENNY: [looks down at floor in disappointment] I guess so.
KEATON: Alright then. Since we’re talking about your charges, we might as well start there. Tell me about what happened at the store.
LENNY: Which time?
KEATON: The last time when you got caught. I believe that there was a police officer involved…
LENNY: Oh, okay, that one. Well, I was shopping with my parents and my sister. I didn’t really want to go with them but they talked me into it.
KEATON: Pause right there. Why did you not want to go to the store with them?
LENNY: [shrugs shoulders] I don’t know. It’s just boring. I’d rather stay home.
KEATON: You wouldn’t be bored sitting at home all by yourself.
LENNY: Nah-uh. I always find something to do. But my dad wouldn’t let use his computer so I decided to go with them.
KEATON: Why were you wanting to use your dad’s computer?
LENNY: [stares blankly forward with mouth gaping open] Play games. Look up stuff.
KEATON: Which games?
LENNY: You know. All sorts of games. Like, um, that farming game.
KEATON: You first heard about the farming game in group session. You were asking the other group members last week about it. You told them that you’ve never seen it before.
LENNY: Yeah, but there’s other games. I could play those.
KEATON: Let’s cut the bullshit, okay? You wanted to stay home and watch internet porn.
LENNY: That’s not bad! What’s wrong with pictures and movies?
KEATON: I’m just pointing out to you that you need to be honest about your thoughts and behavior. You did not want to stay home and play a farming game on your father’s computer. You wanted to stay home to look at pornography over the internet. So you were not being honest. And if you’re going to lie about something as minor as that, how do you plan to tell the truth about these other things that you’ve done—the much more serious things?
LENNY: Is my dad going to find out?
KEATON: Well, you’re a legal adult, Lenny. We can not give your parents any information about your treatment here unless you give us permission to. It’s confidential. However, since you’re going back to live with them once you finish the program, your parents need to be part of your relapse prevention plan. And it’s hard to plan for something that they know nothing about it. So as we progress further with your treatment I’m going to encourage you to talk about these things with your parents. Does that sound okay?
LENNY: I guess so. I bet my dad’s going to be mad…
KEATON: He might be. But you’ve done far more serious things than attempt to look at pornography on your dad’s computer. Don’t you think he’d be more concerned about those other things?
LENNY: Probably.
KEATON: Yeah, probably. Let’s get back to your story. You wanted to stay home to look at porn but your dad wouldn’t let you use the computer. So you decided to go with your family to the store. What happened there?
LENNY: My sister wanted to go look at clothes with my mom and dad. I didn’t want to go over there so I went to the bathroom instead.
KEATON: Did you really need to go to the bathroom?
LENNY: [looks away and begins to mumble]
KEATON: Lenny. Look at me. And remember to be honest. It’s important that we get this right. Did you really need to use the bathroom or not?
LENNY:[shakes his head]
KEATON: So then why did you go into the bathroom?
LENNY: To look at girls.
KEATON: You went into the women’s restroom.
LENNY: Yeah.
KEATON: And what did you do in there?
LENNY: I went into one of those stall thingies and sat down on the toilet.
KEATON: Did you have all of your clothes on?
LENNY: Sorta. I pulled my pants down a little bit so I could touch myself.
KEATON: Why did you masturbate inside the women’s bathroom? Couldn’t you do that just as well inside the men’s bathroom?
LENNY: I wanted to be where the girls were.
KEATON: You mean that you wanted to see girls come into the bathroom?
LENNY: Uh huh.
KEATON: And then what? What was your plan?
LENNY: Nothing. I just wanted to see them.
KEATON: See them do what?
LENNY: Go to the bathroom.
KEATON: Alright, so you were hoping to find a girl inside the restroom so maybe you could see her with her pants down?
LENNY: Yeah.
KEATON: And that’s it?
LENNY: I guess so, yeah.
KEATON: Help me understand something, Lenny. If a girl is in the restroom with her pants down, she’s probably in there doing some bathroom business, such as urinating or defecating. Wouldn’t seeing that be a turn off for you?
LENNY: But I like to watch them poop. That’s what I wanted.
KEATON: [befuddled expression] You wanted to see them…