application. It duly assisted him in accurately tracking and recording distance and speed during his planned pedestrian escapes. Sometimes, he'd deliberately take indirect routes on less muggy, sweltering or foul-weathered days making it to the office with time to spare for a freshening up before court rigmarole.
Attorney Doe had successfully worked his way into South Carolina corporate attorney's "Who's Who" annals. His impressive roster consisted of clients who's names were so heavy, they weighed on tongues just saying or keys just typing them. Truly, he'd made it! But "it," sometimes made him have to invent creative ways of coping- like slow or brisk walks to work. Thankfully well-funded, he prepared for those less-than-fresh days upon arriving drenched in perspiration. The immaculate, well-groomed, good-smelling, couture-clad attorney kept toiletries, clothing and accessories stashed away in his specialized office's amply-sized walk-in bath/dressing room conveniently available for those needed moments when mere touch-ups wouldn't suffice.
Most would have considered it a hassle to dress, undress and dress again in such a short expanse of time on any given day. To him, these represented small tolls to pay yielding enormous benefits: decompressing from and/or bracing for a day on pesky providence's turnpike. At times, guilt briefly rode the attorney betraying Marilyn- his one true, faithful, sleek, frivolous, sensuous, flirty, love. She was the blond Benz convertible bombshell he'd leave at home when circumstances dictated the Low-country scenery taken in on foot at a pace of ten-miles-per-hour better sufficed as therapy than cruising just above roadway speed limits. Besides, there was nothing slow about Marilyn, whose sleek lines and quick responses drew stares from people (women, clients, adversaries, deputy's, sheriff's, police, etcetera)- both those he cared and cared not to take notice.
On this particularly nerve-shattering-same-as-usual day, unusual happened! As many times as Attorney Doe traversed that route, he'd not uncovered anything out of the ordinary. He usually strolled fixated on four of five "-wards..." forwards, upwards, sidewards, backwards but never downwards. Even while walking barefoot through grass, looking down was not an option. He'd close both eyes taking in cushioning blades's coolness. Nature in his Low-country environment was simply breathtaking! Attorney Doe marveled at sights like tender blossoms, noisy nests, billowy clouds, seascapes and so one.
As for nature's aroma, especially after recent rainfall, it made his nostrils flare as if belonging to a two-headed monster greedily trying to devour everything in sight! He often joked to others about strides in modern day reconstructive surgery and even stunned his physician inquiring about to whether third and forth nostril additions might be possible with current technological advancements. On this day, the additions would have been thoroughly enjoyed as it intermittently sprinkled and in usual fashion, his nostrils expanded to take in the late afternoon's bouquet. The attorney tripped, laughed assigning culpability to nature's numerous and splendorous distractions.
"Enough of that," he thought and his rubber band of a mind tightened again snatching itself back from such loose, inane associations for less superfluous ones. After all, pragmatism was how he'd earned a very successful keep. Attorney Doe surmised undone shoelaces, discarded rubbish or upturned stone possibilities caused his near spill onto the sidewalk. Nonetheless, the stumble directed his usual upwards, outwards, sidewards gaze downwards and he began methodologically going down his mental checklist ruling in or out one cause after another. He sometimes wore expensive orthotically corrected laced gym shoes but that morning. However, not that morning as fashioned less functional-though more stylish, easy-on-easy-off Velcro ones. There went the practical shoelace theory in his eagle of a legal mind!
Debris and/or stones must have caused his near fall! "After all, people can be trifling and the county has not been as diligent about road and sidewalk maintenance of late", he thought. Prepared to move whatever it was out of the way and/ or capture a photo of ill-maintained sidewalks, attorney Doe astonishingly found none of the above! What appeared as muddy bird print pavement markings leading into a nearby marsh stared up and with attitude as if saying, "So what, but since I've got your attention..." The tide recently receded. An investigative instinct, curious nature matched by an unbridled love for nature, lead him to a point just barely inside the marsh concealed by tall saw grass blades. An injured snowy egret with once pristine white feathers stood as if expecting its bewildered rescuer. The poor creature's left breast region was bloodied by a piercing glass shard.
Surely if humans anthropomorphized, animals did too! Or at least, this was how Attorney Doe felt at that precise moment. He would later remind himself on his tablet to do a Bing or Google terminology search. There had to be a word to describe this in reverse. The bird resembled a female: gracile, elegant and kooky due to how its head was cocked to one side; he referred to this new-found avian friend-soon-patient in that gender from then on calling her, Snowy. Yeah kooky described all women in his mind but had he allowed such tangential thoughts to redirect him, the lovely injured egret might perish! Thus, he tightened his mind's reins refocusing all thought to what was there in plain site and the matter at hand.
Snowy curiously watched Attorney Doe tilting her head to one side as if ascertaining how best to view the slowly moving large clunky thing. He was careful while on steadfast approach inching closer to the presumably adrenaline charged patient hopefully in too much pain for fight or flight maneuvers.
Suddenly, the attorney's humanitarian task became apparent: "I must thwart death in this magnificent South Carolinian treasure if I have to administer CPR or a blood transfusion myself!" Just then, such fallacious thoughts elicited a hearty guffaw from the attorney who could not do gory well having no stomach for spilled blood, brains or entrails. A transfusion would have been out of the question unless he was to become the unconscious recipient! He imagined awakening to the creature performing resuscitative measures on him for passing out at the mere thought of it. When nausea crept up his esophagus, chills down his spine, Attorney Doe quickly refocused on more relevant, less disturbing matters like how to safely extract and dispose of the penetrating shard without feinting. He would have to carefully discard it so claimed no other innocent or passerby.
It was indeed a well conceived and delicately executed foreign body extraction for a man of his delicate sensitivities. The self-appointed veterinarian wondered briefly whether he might have missed his calling before answering his own question with one resounding... Not! Though intelligent enough to comprehend medical jargon, he preferred courtrooms for meticulous dissections rather than surgical suites. The urgent task behind him had to be performed not in a room at all but out in the open air. He held firm, steady pressure on the wound for as long as his avian patient permitted.
The definite attorney, wanna-be veterinarian looked around for something to utilize as a therapeutic salve deducing Low-country natives from days gone by most likely utilized herbs, roots and mud on such occasions. Spirit voices then tickled in his ears. Actually, it was more like nature's gentle winds caused both his attention and head to fall upon crushed wild saw grass underfoot. It would serve as a pressure wrap to tamponade further bleeding. Freshly supplied mud from intermittent showers sufficed as an additional sealant and balm. Attorney Doe remembered a lunch box in his backpack contained an empty, clean plastic container, which would make the handiest receptacle for mixing his medicinal concoction of smushed plant fibers and cool mud.
Not wanting to place what amounted to "dirt" directly over an open wound, he said a silent, quick prayer believing God would spare Snowy from infection. Wow, he hadn't prayed in a long time for himself, family or clients; that he unhesitantly did for his new-found friend's welfare meant something, but what? Once all of this was in the rears, he would delve into why he reflexively resorted to such magical thinking before doctoring began as if the helpless animal's welfare mattered in God's universal order... Right! Despite successful and numerous large footprints he had laid down in life through hard work and determination, they weren't grand enough to garner God's attentions. He did it all alone! God- the Old Fogey, must have tuned his hearing aid to pick up another frequency other than his long ago. Perhaps if he didn't matter Snowy did, must have been his logic behind trying again
