Reclaiming My Time. Jeanette Ferrell

      Gratitude

      The universe has a way of pulling your coat tail to get your attention. Well for me, it pushed me down, face first in the mud. Seeds grow towards the sunlight. Those sprouts push through and struggle through the darkness and dirt towards the light to become what they were meant to be. For this, I thank the UnIverse! To my partner in love and life, my wife, T.J. I thank you for your reverence, patience, love, support, but most of all I thank the Most High for your existence. To the people that make up my tribe, thank you for sitting through those grueling conversations about all the creative messes I find myself in. To my sisters in life, Tasha and Tasharia, I thank you for walking this journey with me no matter the starting points, the detours and traffic we've sat in, your contribution is appreciated. To my parents, I love you! Shout out to both of you for creating a legend! This book is dedicated to the work and love of life of my OG, Margaret Jean Irvin! I love you Granny! This book is also written and dedicated to the women that are at revolutionary points in their lives! Change becomes you!

      Introduction

      If you ask the average person their thoughts about self-care, many will say it’s something that they haven’t even thought about. What’s even more surprising is that our society teaches us that self- care is selfish, overly indulgent and arrogant. This belief intensifies when it comes to women taking out time for themselves. Women are expected to be the nurtures, problem solvers, mothers, wives and God in human form to everyone and everything but themselves. How dare we steal a moment for ourselves after living and working under mundane conditions, lower pay wages, and heightened distress all while staring down the barrel of potential perils of violent conditions, harassment, disobedient/difficult children, and an inattentive/unappreciative spouse. As a woman standing at the crossroads of intersectionality of being an African-American woman, who’s a single mother that happens to identify as lesbian and as more spiritual than religious, I can recall several occurrences of my life that have threatened my personal dignity, character and minimized my confidence. Change came when I realized that all of these things depleted me emotionally, physically, mentally, and sometimes financially. I accepted that the time had come in my life to seek balance and put myself first.

      If you’ve ever flown on a plane, just as you’re all snuggled in your seat with your belt fastened; the flight attendant prepares the cabin for take-off and begin to provide instructions on how to survive should optimal flying conditions change. Of those instructions the most important thing she says isn’t how to activate your flotation device. It’s, “…should there be a change in cabin pressure an oxygen mask will deploy, place the mask securely on yourself before assisting other passengers.” Who knew that the most critical component in a secure and vividly lived life, would come from a flight attendant? Once you begin to put yourself first, and care for yourself properly, it’s as if the universe opens up and showers your life with reflections of that love and care. Here love and care are used synonymously. Here you will find practical notions, considerations, and to-do’s that guide you…women standing at blurring ‘intersectionalities’….to self-care.