And Ben knew Terri would never tell of such a thing if she was not certain it was true. For a moment, worrying about what the townspeople thought of him, for once, ceased. He was sure most people probably knew what was going on already. And as he viewed it, not one person, until now, had stepped up and said anything to him. That was more disheartening than the act itself. He grew up here. He lived and worked here. He knew these people. And no one had said a thing.
Nonetheless, Ben knew his life was about to change, as he would not tolerate living in the same house as an unfaithful woman any longer. He had struggled to love her in the past despite her infidelity but had tried desperately in the last year. To him, she had become too hard to love. For so long he thought he could fix her and the marriage. Continued unfaithfulness, though, proved to be the last straw for him. He had had enough. And so he convinced himself, that day at the 3rd Street Café, that despite his desire for this to work because he believed marriage simply should, he would not tolerate living like this anymore.
The decision to end his marriage, if he made it, would not come without objection or ridicule. Rachel’s father, Dr. Dan Henson, was the senior pastor of Freedom Baptist Church and the metaphorical mayor of Freeden. He ran this town. There was no chance Rachel Henson Bailey would be accused of cheating in a public Freeden courtroom, or even the social arenas of the surrounding area. Everybody believed every word Dr. Henson said like it came from God Almighty himself.
He would not allow his daughter to be publicly shamed. Every judge in the county attended Freeden Baptist and so did the district attorney and his assistants; there was no way his political buddies would embarrass him or his family if this was pushed so far as to end up in civil court.
Ben knew that Dr. Henson would never accept that his daughter would do such a thing as be unfaithful, especially after a raising that was often touted by the Henson family as being a Christian one. Ben knew better, well before he ever had the most recent information that she was sleeping around on him. Dr. Henson might never admit it, but his daughter was uncontrollably unfaithful, and a liar, and while all signs pointed to her at least keeping it exclusive with Aaron, Ben believed that if “you’ll cheat once, you’ll cheat again.” Rachel had proven that time and time again.
Ben never thought he was better than anyone, but he knew he was too good for this. As much as he had longed for the marriage to work despite strong indicators it never would, she wasn’t going to make any real effort to give up her unfaithful ways. It was time to cut the cord. He did not need her or her family to make it, and he knew that as much as she enjoyed the lavish lifestyle Ben provided her that she would milk this allegorical cow as long as he allowed it. So in that moment as he walked from the 3rd Street Café back to his office along the faded brick sidewalk that lined Main Street in Freeden, he decided that, no matter the scars his reputation or career might take as he broke apart from Rachel and her well-known family, he was going to end this marriage once and for all. Unhappiness was no longer an option for him. Suddenly, he did not love her anymore, and when Terri told him what happened earlier at lunch, the grim hope of love returning simply vanished. As of this moment, he no longer wanted to love her.
Ben believed that love was a choice. Dr. Henson once told him that, and whether he believed his own teaching or not, Ben certainly adopted the outlook on one of the world’s most mysterious subjects. He recalled Dr. Henson saying when he asked him for Rachel’s hand in marriage: “Ben, love is work, and you make a daily choice whether or not to love someone.” A true Christian principle that, while true, came from the mouth of an authentic hypocrite.
Sometimes Rachel would get on Ben’s nerves, and he had to choose to keep loving her and look past certain things. But they were the small quarrels; things like how she never rinsed the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher, and how she never cleaned around the house or picked up after herself. Those things Ben chose to get over; they were trivial. Unfaithfulness, on the other hand, which he had chosen to move past before, would not be subjected to such passive handling now. In Ben’s mind, this simply could not continue.
That day after returning to his office after lunch, he started taking notes to build a case in his own mind against Rachel. Is it just to leave her? Has she done enough wrong? One of the things he learned in the coming weeks was how much she was “going to the gym.” She would return home drenched in sweat, presumably from getting a great Insanity or P90X session in with her fitness group. Only problem was that once he checked with the gym she claimed to be attending to see if they were all paid up for the quarter, they had no record of either Ben or Rachel being members for the previous two years.
Time brings all things to light. A favorite line of Ben’s from the 2006 film All the Kings Men that proved true when all the lies told over the years finally came raining down on Rachel in one night. It was Tuesday, February 12, and Ben told her he had to leave town for three days for a class. He went to the class on that Wednesday, and after one session they had to cancel the rest of the class due to the instructor’s illness preventing him from being able to teach. So on that Wednesday night, he returned to Freeden, unbeknownst to her, and when he drove onto the street they lived on, he noticed Aaron’s truck parked in his driveway. Ben pulled over, and turned his truck off, and watched.
Sure enough, Aaron eventually exited his truck and walked to the front door, which opened and quickly closed behind him. Ben turned his truck back on and drove forward, leaving the lights off, and then parked at a diagonal view of the house from the street. He looked through the window at the now well-lit living room, and saw the two embrace, then kiss, until she finally realized the blinds were open and rushed over to shut them.
Neither of them saw Ben, he was certain, but he had seen enough for himself. As much as he had cared for her, Rachel was just too ignorant to realize this town was too small for that type of thing to go unnoticed forever. Or perhaps she thought, with the clout Dr. Henson had, that it just didn’t matter and no one would ever believe she did anything wrong.
Whatever she thought, on this night the veil was lifted from her lies.
Ben turned the lights on, then drove to the nearby Hampton Inn and checked in for the night.
The next day, Ben felt ready to divorce his wife. He was sat in his favorite spot at his favorite place, 3rd Street Café, and was mulling over these thoughts as he drank his first caffeinated beverage of the day.
There was no need to go inside of his home the night before when he found her and Aaron. Ben’s pride had told him to go in and beat the shit out of Aaron. It was so clear to him now that there could only be one reason Rachel stayed with Ben all this time: the money. He knew it to be the case, and that was the part that did actually hurt. To think she, who he had considered not only to be his wife but for the longest time his best friend, was shallow enough to use him for his money was a major blow for Ben. Whom could he trust? When he married Rachel, he just knew she was the one for him. Her kind, gentle personality was all he had ever wanted; she was a sweet soul, someone who, for the first time, granted him the feeling that the stresses of life were usually exaggerated, and that life was to be enjoyed to the fullest. She had once made him feel like his money, or money in general, did not matter, and that she was committed for the long haul to a relationship together no matter the trials they might face; but on that night where he finally caught her in her wrongdoing, he began to see clearer the scars on his soul that had worsened over time. From day one of their marriage, literally the day they married, Rachel changed. And to this point, she too, worsened, caring less about Ben and the marriage and more about herself.
Have I tried everything? He wondered if there was anything left he could do, even though his pride was telling him the marriage needed to end.
Will God be disappointed with me? He couldn’t determine if this was God’s attempted inspiration or if it was the remnant of another long, deep “talking to” from Dr. Henson, who often felt
